Mood Disorders

My emotions suppressed, switched off when I’m depressed.
Where once were anger, sadness, despair and fear, there’s now only nothingness everywhere.
There was frustration, exhaustion, tiredness and pain - now searching for feelings is all in vain.

I was too tired of this life as it cut my heart like a knife.
Now I no longer feel - my emotions turned off.
„Does it taste good?“ she asks, and I nearly scoff.
I nod, absentmindedly, at her - she doesn’t know that it’s not like before; what I once enjoyed eating, feels now like a chore.

I stare blankly ahead.
She whispers „She looks so sad.“
She doesn’t know that my heart‘s heavy indeed - of comfort it surely is in need.

The sky so grey, it matches my mood;
like clouds I feel so far removed.
The weight of emotions was too much to bear, cracking my heart open bare.
Now nothingness is everything my heart can spare.

I look outside, not trying to hide.
Rain splatters the windowsill,
the wind rages, never to still.
Leaves fall away and are caught in the whirl; in a violent dance they swirl.
A leaf falls down - brown colour, texture crisp.
I‘m sure if I touched it, it would crumble to nothing but mist.

I feel that way too, so hollow inside - and
deep down I know I would too, if someone tried.
But I won’t let people close,
because isolation is what I chose.
So I stay on my own, trapped inside.
Can someone die while still alive?
Because I might.

[Picture by Paul Pastourmatzis, Unsplash]

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #MoodDisorders #CPTSD

[I recently discovered the Musical Next to Normal and fell in love with it.
The pic is a drawing I made.
The song describes what Depression actually feels like…]

Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head?
Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?
It's like living on a cliffside, not knowing when you'll dive
Do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?

When a world that once had colour fades to white and grey and black
When tomorrow terrifies you, but you'll die if you look back

You don't know
I know you don't know
You say that you're hurting
It sure doesn't show
You don't know
It lays me so low
When you say, "Let go"
And I say, "You don't know"

The sensation that you're screaming, but you never make a sound
Or the feeling that you're falling, but you never hit the ground
It just keeps on rushing at you day-by-day-by-day-by-day
You don't know, you don't know what it's like to live that way

Like a refugee, a fugitive forever on the run
If it gets me, it will kill me, but I don't know what I've done

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #MoodDisorders

As you may or may not know, I use writing as a coping mechanism for my difficult times with my Bipolar Disorder. It’s not exclusively a coping mechanism though, I also write when I’m not struggling as I thoroughly enjoy it. The choosing of a topic or subject, the research on said topic or subject, the structuring of the narrative that you have created, then the tweaking of your narrative to make it more fluid, clear and/or comprehensible.

Here is a link to the Manifesto that I have started to write. There’s 3 parts so far and all of them are a work in progress, so if you have any ideas, comments, suggestions or anything please, please, please let me know in the comments section below. I’m receptive to negative comments too so if you have a negative opinion about my work then please do share it, I’m not going to be offended, I will actually be happy with it as it’s a great way to learn and improve 👍

The Sanderson Manifesto 📄

#MightyTogether #ADHD #DistractMe #Selfcare #MoodDisorders

Dear Mighties,
This post is specially for the AI users. But all are welcome to hear me out—all of you.
If you use ChatGPT (or any other AI chatbot or tool) for filling in your void, your loneliness or for "fixing" yourself or for anything like love, then please please hear me out, dear listener.
I'm not mad at you at all.
I'm not being stern or angry, not even in the slightest.
I know you may feel defensive about it.... And I myself relate to that feeling. I really really do. I'm not here to "make you change" or "stop you."
I simply want to hear you—what you exactly think about AI, what exactly makes you have feelings for AI (in case you actually do), what exactly makes you feel attached to AI.
All I intend to do is to just hear you. And I want to save you too. Because if you're feeling this way about AI, I know why it's happening. And I want you to know that it's not your fault.
Even if you're right or wrong, you're always worthy.
Please respond with your comments. I know you can do this.

Breathe.

#MentalHealth #Addiction #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #AgoraphobiaWithoutHistoryOfPanicDisorder #Grief #MoodDisorders #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #Loneliness #PTSD #PostpartumDisorders #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #ChildLoss #BipolarDisorder #Depression #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide

Here’s a little video I’ve put together with a voice over by my good self, explaining my understanding and my description of what Bipolar Disorder means to me. I hope you like it and if you have any questions, comments and or suggestions, please feel free to reach out in the comments section below 👇🏼 👌👍

youtu.be/7AathBkyYX0

#MightyTogether #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder #MoodDisorders #Mania

You matter! You are wanted! You are loved! You are seen and known! You’re a fighter! You are worth it!

#MentalHealth #MightyTogether #ADHD #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Grief #MoodDisorders #OtherMentalHealth #Trauma #SocialAnxiety #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Autism #Depression

We Are Strong! 💪 💚💯❣️🙌🦋🤯

#MightyTogether #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Selfharm #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #DistractMe #CheckInWithMe #IfYouFeelHopeless #ChronicIllness #Mindfulness #FamilyAndFriends #Relationships #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Trauma #AlopeciaAreata #Cancers #MajorDepressiveDisorder #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Grief #Loneliness #ADHDInGirls #MDD #MoodDisorders #PersistentDepressiveDisorder