Mood Disorders

Join the Conversation on
Mood Disorders
9.1K people
0 stories
579 posts
About Mood Disorders
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in Mood Disorders
All
Stories
Posts
Videos
Latest
Trending
Post

Toxic Positivity and Radical Acceptance

Those who follow this blog have seen me rail against toxic positivity. When it’s not absurd, it’s insulting to those of us with mood disorders. No, we can’t just cheer up. If we could look at the bright side, we wouldn’t have depression or anxiety. You may be able to choose happiness, but I can’t. I’ve needed medication and therapy just to feel meh at times. If I could turn bipolar disorder off like a light switch, don’t you think I’d do it?

Toxic positivity can be seen nearly everywhere, in a lot of different situations: the self-help movement, of course, but also business, medicine, and even religion – as well as endless memes. American society is rife with toxic positivity. It appears in motivational business conventions and TED Talks. Salespeople are advised to think positively and envision success. Breast cancer survivors are advised to keep a positive attitude, to the extent that they are encouraged to tell how the disease has had a positive effect on their lives and relationships. (Expressions of fear, anger, and other natural emotions in response to the diagnosis are downplayed or discouraged.) Religions can exhort us to count our blessings or “manifest” our wants and needs by using positive thoughts to attract them.

Positivity becomes toxic when it is seen as the only method of coping with problems in life, even ones that have other solutions or none. Toxic positivity presents relentless cheer as the only acceptable reaction and a panacea for every difficulty. And toxic positivity leads people to demand that others take up the mindset and apply it to every situation, even devastating ones. As such, it denies the reality of human suffering and normal emotional responses. It’s a form of non-acceptance.

So, what is the alternative? What is a more natural – but still effective – technique for dealing with difficulties? How can those of us who have mood disorders or any other brain illness find ways to navigate through life without slapping on a smile and coercing our emotions to fit a certain mold?

Radical acceptance is one answer. Radical acceptance means that you accept your inner feelings and your outward circumstances as they are, especially if they are not under your control. You acknowledge reality without trying to impose a set of emotional mandates on it. Your acceptance and acknowledgment may involve pain or discomfort, but those are understandable, normal human conditions. They are natural conditions that evoke a natural response.

Rooted in Buddhist teachings and given a name by Marsha Linehan, the psychologist who developed dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), radical acceptance uses mindfulness to help people learn to face and regulate their emotions. Interestingly, one 2018 study found that accepting your negative emotions without judgment is a factor in psychological health.

With radical acceptance, when you encounter difficult situations and emotions, you note their presence without trying to suppress them. You accept them, as the name implies. This attitude can address – and reduce – feelings of shame and distress that you may feel, especially when you are not able to simply shut off those feelings and replace them with positivity. That doesn’t mean that you wallow in unpleasant feelings or allow unfortunate circumstances to stunt your responses.

Instead, you note the feelings – accept that they exist – and “hold space” for them within you. You appreciate that your emotions can lead you to new understandings of and reactions to your circumstances. For example, instead of adhering to the unattainable maxim that “Failure is not an option,” you can recognize when you have indeed failed and accept it as a natural part of life. You can then move on to a mindset of growth where you use that failure to inform your future actions. You develop a more accurate picture of the world and can begin implementing real solutions.

Of course, there are situations where radical acceptance is not appropriate. Abusive situations, for one, shouldn’t simply be accepted without being addressed. But neither will positive thinking resolve them. They require action, from seeking help from a trusted individual to leaving the situation to contacting law enforcement or an organization that can help.

But in other circumstances, radical acceptance may be an answer for some. For myself, I’ll just be satisfied if radical acceptance helps drive out toxic positivity. I don’t think it will, but a person can dream.

4 reactions 1 comment
Post
See full photo

Through his lens:

Oh, how she longed to banish his despair,

To steal away the darkness, leaving him fair.

But love's power could only offer solace.

As she held him close, a comforting embrace.

In those moments of anguish, their hearts aligned,

She yearned to ease the burden that he'd find.

With whispered prayers and empathy's embrace,

She wished to shield him, keeping him safe.

And in the moments when he soared so high,

A kaleidoscope of colours filled the sky,

She gazed upon him with awe, yearning to witness the world he saw.

She yearned to perceive life through his lens,

To dance on clouds and taste euphoria's blends.

For within the beauty of bipolar's sway,

Lay a tapestry of emotions in disarray.

@wrdsbyme

#BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MentalHealth #MoodDisorders #ManicBipolar #wrdsbyme @mightyupdates

(edited)
10 reactions 2 comments
Post
See full photo

Learning To Love The Unlovable

2018-2019 Janet,

I have a lot to tell you. I’ve been looking at a lot of journals and mood logs that you’ve kept over the years. And there’s a lot on my heart, so I thought I’d write you a letter, to give you my perspective on things. You are going through a lot, and struggling, like everyone does, to understand yourself and your purpose and your path. I want to tell you that this does get easier. But you’ll go through hell to get there. It’s all worth it though.
Something that really stands out to me in these journals is how very hard you are on yourself, how much you expect perfection and how your mood crashes when you can’t achieve it.
I’m here to tell you what I think you already know first, which is that perfectionism is hell— one that you create due to your fear of vulnerability, of love, of acceptance, of failure.
Second, I want to tell you something I don’t think you’ve realized yet, but will someday soon— that perfect will ultimately destroy you, that perfect is unattainable, that perfect will never give you peace or throw you any parties for what you have accomplished in this life. It’s a lie— one you’ve learned, but one you can unlearn. You will never feel satisfied as long as perfectionism is whispering, “it’s not enough” in your ear.
Another thing that stands out to me is your intense preoccupation with, and dissatisfaction with, where you are in life. There’s a lot about you to celebrate. There’s a lot about you to love.
But you are so focused on the future, the what if’s, on where you want to be, on your perceived sense of failure (particularly in relation to your goals as a musician) that you can’t accept yourself or celebrate how far you’ve come because you can’t even see how far you’ve come.
I know things are really up and down for you. I wish I could tell you that this is the worst of it, but the darkest days are only just beginning for us.
In December 2019 you’ll start to spiral and from there your world will rapidly change. You’ll feel it coming, but you won’t know what it is. You’ll never be the same again.
I’m here to tell you it’s all for the better, and that I wouldn’t trade the dark days ahead of you for brighter ones even if I could because we harness our greatest power, show our biggest love, vulnerability and bravery during these times. And it will all show you a light within that you can’t yet begin to imagine.
In 2020 your mind will break, kind of, along with the world. What will already become a very isolating period for many will be a prison for you. You’ve never known a place so dark and painful as this. But it is here in this place you didn’t choose that you find yourself— bright lit with compassion and heartache and resilience. I am cheering you on, I really am.
I know how much it will feel as though you’re drowning. But I’m here to tell you that you can breathe under water, and that as you sink deeper you will find yourself more there. And at the bottom you’ll find grace, hope, brutality and beauty.
2020-2023 will be a mad blur, but you connect the missing pieces somehow.
I see how you struggled to get here to me, now. And I have nothing but love and admiration for you.
After years of hell, just when things start to get better again, they’ll get worse. The past will come to remind you of itself. And you’ll wonder what the point of healing ever was. But in this anger and resentment you’ll learn to love the unlovable. Through all the heartache your heart becomes fuller, filled with forgiveness and softness.
There’s probably a lot I haven’t said here, but we can always talk again. I’m always here to create space for us. I guess I will leave with this—
I am in awe of you, how much you’ve faced, how the world and all its darkness could have hardened you and yet you became somehow ever more tender to the touch, all the more open and sensitive and strong.
I am truly your biggest fan, enamored by you and your courage and your ability to find gratitude in what would break most people’s spirit. I can’t know what’s to come for you, for us. But something tells me whatever darkness lie ahead, whatever lion’s dens are waiting for us, we will come out roaring— not in rage, but in victory, and that we will continue to find beauty and gratitude in the pain. There is beauty on the other side of these years.
Where you are now, at the dawn of these hardships, is not where you will be. And I want you to know more than anything that I am there, too, and that I believe you have everything you need to come out victorious.
When it’s over, I will be here to meet you, to become you, to love you, to embrace you, to lick your wounds, to accept you exactly as you are.

Restlessly Waiting,
2023 Janet

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #Psychosis #MoodDisorders #Anxiety #BipolarDepression

(edited)
3 reactions 2 comments
Post
See full photo

Where Do We Put The Pain

Tonight I find myself weighed down by them and all they have to say, about everything, about anything I try to do. Even everything I’m not doing.
Mattia is upset. It feels that way at least. I know he’s not really mad at me about getting up to make tea (at 1am). I get that he’s just exhausted, too. And worried. Like me. But it’s all I could think to do to take care of myself.
What I really want to do is go on a drive through the dark streets of this little desert town.
Late night drives remind me of college-mania, what was only my own personal inner-critic then, telling me I really shouldn’t take up space in the world, that maybe after all the sleepless nights, after all the rising and falling, maybe I was finally down for good and would never make it because god was disappointed in me or something . All my efforts to stay alive…
And I did, here I am, but I have the same feelings tonight, about my worth, about my life, about all my mistakes and fuck-ups, about death, about letting my body rise again out of itself, but instead of pulling it back to me, letting it go, like a little girl holding onto the string of a balloon with sticky ice cream fingers, watching myself float away into the atmosphere until I disappear entirely, until the pressure becomes too much for me, until there’s nothing left but little scattered pieces of me, that will fall and never meet each other again. The string I once held so tightly to, that held me to me, gone forever.
I think about ending it all, maybe. A little less now, at this point in my life, in my self-love journey, if you could call it that. Sometimes I wonder how learning to love yourself can be filled with days and nights where you loath your existence so deeply, your bloated body, your broken mind. It’s a violent road, it’s risky.
But maybe it’s what we are all put here to do, learn love, maintain love, share it instead of trying so desperately to hold onto it because we are so lonely and sad and love is all we want to feel.
I’m not quite sure yet where to put the pain of this, what to do with it, but I don’t want to place it on myself anymore. I don’t want to place it on you either. I’m sorry I ever did.
I want you to know, I weep with you, for you, for me, for this illness, for this messed up and chaotic life. I feel with you, the madness, the loneliness that never goes away, that only digs its claws in deeper it seems, day after day.
Can we let go? Can we turn the loneliness into love?
I don’t know.
But I believe in our strength and ability to get through whatever life may mess us up with. I love you. I’m thankful for you because I know we’ll all come out not only alive, but healthy again, someday anyway. It all depends, on where we decide to put the pain.
#Psychosis #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #Bipolar1 #Manic #ManicEpisodes #MoodDisorders #Anxiety #Addiction #BipolarDepression #SuicidalIdeation #Grief #Trauma

(edited)
2 reactions
Post
See full photo

The Sadness

When you can just very barely step around the pile of clothes on the floor/ And the sadness is wrapped around your neck like a shock collar/ You starve and you shop and you sleep, hoping sadness will loosen her grip/ You wonder if normal ever returns/ Or if normal ever existed/ You think of picking up the clothes and the energy it requires makes you certain you could fill your bathtub up with tears// Your narcissistic boss/ The stress of this job why/ When hurt people hurt you do you always feel that if you expose your pain to them/ They’ll develop something called empathy/ Haven’t you learned yet they only want to bathe in your blood/ Your smallness makes them feel important// I’m here to tell you it doesn’t end until you stop thinking you can change the world

#MentalHealth #Bipolar1 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #EatingDisorders #MoodDisorders #Anxiety #BipolarDepression

(edited)
2 reactions
Post

You won’t sink here— you will soar

If I had never found the doctor who diagnosed me with Bipolar, would I have waited and wasted more years of my life in pain and confusion without a diagnosis? Would I have finally swallowed too many depression medications and sleep aides to move or come back to my body or breathe? I can’t know. I would like to think I wouldn’t have let that happen, that I would have continued to search for the answers I so badly craved. However, untreated Bipolar will often make its own choices without considering your feelings or asking you to weigh in.
I know that now, that I never had as much control over my emotions and moods as I thought I did or as society kept telling me I had. I bought into the whole swap-your-pills-for-running-shoes bullshit being shoved on me from what seemed to be every direction at the time.
I wanted so desperately to believe that I could choose happiness, that I could simply motivate myself out of the intensifying sadness and looming panic, that I could water myself without sunlight and still grow.
I thought the sun might show up if I worked harder, if I was aware enough, if I grew stronger, if I practiced all the self-care and self-love I could muster, if I was patient, if I stayed on the treadmill for hours on end, loved god, went to bed early, woke up early, wrote affirmations.
I prayed and I begged and I kept busy, but I flopped like a fish for so many painful years.
The more effort I put in the more I wilted, drooped and watched my petals fall. I turned to literature, read books with titles like “No Excuses,” “The Laws Of Success,” and “You Are A Badass.” I felt inspired, bursts of motivation, but nothing stuck and I continued to blame myself. It’s nice to believe that you can will yourself into wealth, wellness and status.
I “put in the work” for years to better myself. How is it my closest friends could say to me that they thought I wasn’t trying and how could I have continued to believe this?
Even though I felt something abnormal, some monster down below in the depths of me, and I longed to learn its name, I would call it by my own name for years still.
After countless attempts to take my own life, after years of drinking myself sick, swallowing unisom like a multivitamin, all the hospital gowns and the stomach pumping and the pain pills and purging and late nights that bled into morning and the debilitating fear, anxiety and grief which seemed to always be just below the surface, a doctor told me something that I probably already knew, but would change my trajectory— that if something didn’t change I was going to wind up dead. I finally decided to see a psychiatrist.
One diagnosis of depression later, along with a prescription for Klonopin and Zoloft, I was more manic than ever, though I didn’t yet know the word for it. I was having the time of my life while I was simultaneously in so deep I couldn’t keep my head above water long enough to breathe. 
In June of 2013, I found myself stumbling into my kitchen through the dark after a night out drinking with friends. I remember the moonlight spilling in through the front window. I remember how that summer felt, how it consumed me, how I thought moving across the complex to a new unit would bring me back to life, the distress that quickly followed when my moods still plummeted and skyrocketed, the cavernous ache I felt daily. 
I hungered for the pain in my life to subside. I swallowed all my medications and lay there on the floor waiting for it— the feeling of the world coming to an end.
It’s the final thing I remember, before waking up in another hospital bed, too confused to feel anything else, the room like a movie set, not quite real to me yet, searching the floor for black x’s and looking for stage lights tucked away in the rafters. My face was wet with tears I couldn’t remember having cried. They felt unreal, like someone had painted them on. I longed for my parents.
In the days that followed, I felt paranoid and wavered between reality and fantasy. When I talked with my mother I wept. I told her I wouldn’t make it to 30, that I just couldn’t do it. When I said it, I had never been so sure of anything in my entire life the way I felt certain in that moment. I thought I would never be able to escape the sadness that plagued me.
I found Dr. Cai sometime shortly after I was released from the hospital. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and an anxiety disorder.
When I started getting the proper treatment for my mental illness, when I finally knew the name of the monster I’d been avoiding, I started to see color in places where I hadn’t seen color in a very long time. I started to notice flowers growing through the pavement, how odd and beautiful they were, I wondered how they could grow there. I started to feel less sorrow. The sunlight poured in.
Even with a proper diagnosis and treatment it took years to find stability. 
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar I had people tell me they didn’t believe in mental illness and that they thought I was trying to find something to blame my problems on. When I began taking medication, people said I was looking to dodge responsibility and find a “silver-bullet.”
Seeking a diagnosis and starting treatment for my illness was the most responsible thing I have ever done for myself. For years I blamed no one but myself for all my pain. When I was diagnosed, I didn’t seek to blame my illness. But my diagnosis did help me learn to lift the blame off myself and no longer carry the shame others made me feel for getting help.
Starting treatment meant cutting through all the noise and the narratives other people love to tell— that it’s all in my head, that they get sad sometimes, too, that it doesn’t matter what you call it, that it doesn’t need a label and searching for one will only complicate things, that I can’t move from bed because I’m not trying hard enough.
It’s funny that people who have never experienced mental illness have so much to say about it, and have so much fear invested in it— fears which I think stem from our capitalistic ideals, and what we think it means to be lazy, to be unproductive, to be ill, to be unmotivated, to be healthy, to be independent, to be unsuccessful, to be happy, to fail.
Medications have likely saved my life, if not saved me years of unnecessary extremes, addictions and heartache.
I couldn’t have known that learning to love my illness would require so much from me, though I knew it would be a challenge. It was such a massive relief to finally have answers. Maybe I thought simply understanding it or learning its name would be enough for it to stop destroying things. But it’s taken me years to master what I believed then to be the most basic first steps of soothing it. 
Learning to love and accept my mental illness has taught me to love and accept myself and learning to love and accept myself has strengthened my ability to love and accept my mental illness. Choosing to love something I once believed was unloveable, something I once neglected yet yearned to care for, something I tried to run from, has been the most difficult thing I’ve done. It has also been the most beautiful, courageous, exceptional thing I’ve done in my life.
If you’re in the deep end drowning, thinking you’ll never make it out alive, I’m here to tell you a stable life is possible, not if you try hard enough to swim, but if you listen to yourself instead of the people on land yelling at you to save yourself, if you can learn to accept yourself and your madness, if you continue to search for the answers.
Don’t settle for less than what you know you deserve.
You are raw and brilliant and the depth of you is remarkable. You are brave and mightier than you may know now— though someday you’ll realize, and it will take your breath away.
You won’t sink here, in this ocean of grief and despair— you will soar. #MentalHealth #MoodDisorders #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Grief #Bipolar1 #BipolarDepression #Addiction #Depression #Trauma #Suicide #Selfharm

(edited)
7 reactions 2 comments
Post
See full photo

Does the Devil Get Inside You Through Your Weakest Side? #BipolarDisorder

So, I have decided that I’m going to try and get some reasoning behind my self harm episodes. I haven’t had any incidents of repeating this for well over a year. However, this doesn’t mean that I can categorically say that it is never going to happen again. There was no precursor to any of the episodes that I had before. The first time, I had been in the bath, and as far as I am aware and what I can recall, I got out and I had left the bath as I found it, clean and ready for the next time I was to use it. Around 3am in the following morning, I bathed around 9pm the previous night, I needed a wee. I woke up and my arm was stuck to my bed sheet (It wasn’t because of that 😂). I never gave this a second thought and I presumed that I had spilt my drink (Vimto). So…..

I went to the bathroom for a wee, and I was greeted with what I can I only explain as like something you see in a horror movie. It was at this point that I rolled up the sleeve of my dressing gown to look at my arm. It was lacerated multiple times, but I couldn’t feel any pain. I wasn’t concerned about it either from what I can recollect. I cleaned the area with warm water and I luckily had some plasters that fit my inner forearm and the cuts perfectly (it was too late to get stitches). I cleaned the blood up in the bath. From the walls and the floor. It never dawned on me how I had actually done this? As I went through the door to the kitchen, I saw a razor blade, the Gillette one with 5 blades, on the floor. I’m not exactly sure what I did to it but it looked like I had chewed the corner of the plastic and then pulled it back to expose the blade. Only one blade, not the entire five. Then again, you only need one I suppose. I looked up at the mirror above the sink and I saw blood all round my mouth. I had cut my gums, lips and inside my mouth getting the blade out. Once again though, I didn’t feel any pain whatsoever.

So, this is the only thing that is bugging me about it all. It’s something that was repeated in every single occasion that I self harmed. I’m right handed you see, but I cut my inner right forearm using my left hand?!? I’m beyond useless at doing anything that involves a certain level of conscious effort with my left hand. I’m by my own admission, not exactly adept at anything manual at all! I have also made the cuts in the same area too. I have been to the walk-in centre of a few occasions where I’ve seen a nurse who very kindly either stitched me up or steri-stripped the mess I’d created. But the majority of times I was just dressing my arm with whatever I had in the cupboard. I went to the Chemists on one occasion when I had cut myself deep and I couldn’t stop it bleeding. I asked what was best for dressing my arm and was asked what size I needed, I just got my arm out, still bleeding quite profusely, and said for that one there. I noticed that I had left a trail of blood on my walk to there. The lady who worked there very kindly assisted me and put the plaster and bandage on for me. That gives you an indication of the mindset I was in from my behaviour. I have scars and I don’t think anything about them as I have accepted it as part of me. I don’t think that they appear as bad as they could have because I have gone back over previous scars and the most severe ones were stitched up. That’s irrelevant though, I still look at my arm and remember that I have done that and, it’s a reminder that I can do it again.

I’m a Roman Catholic. I believe religion is a personal thing and I would never project my feelings about it on to anyone. So, I’m not a fan of going to Church, so I started to read my bible. A few days later I saw an account from an individual who had been through self harm and they quoted “the Devil get in through your weaker side” or words to that effect. I then read some passages from the Bible that described the same. I then looked further into this and I came across more and more people explaining the same thing. I had a appointment with the Crisis Team due to the episodes and I mentioned it to them. They asked if I was religious to which I replied yes, then they were off asking if I had any messages from God or if I thought I was a prophet etc etc. Brushed my question under the carpet. So, I’m going to see the Priest next week and then I will bring it up with my psychiatrist and get a explanation.
#MentalHealth #MoodDisorders

Post
See full photo

The Bipolar Conundrum #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MentalHealth

Living with Bipolar Disorder is a full throttle, 24/7, unwavering and relentless pain in the arse!

I’ve come up with my top 5 frustrations it causes me.

1. Nothing ever is ever consistent. No two episodes of trauma have the same precursors or presents itself as it has done before. Nothing is ever the same. It’s always new, like it’s constantly evolving within you.

2. Personal Hygiene - I have real trouble getting a bath on a regular basis. I wash daily but running a bath, and soaking in the tub with my music on for an hour or so escapes me. Best of it is, I thoroughly enjoy having a bath once I get to have one. It’s so frustrating!

3. Stigma - The general public have a below substandard understanding of mental illnesses. People reject what they don’t understand and I feel that way. Rejected in some cases that involve society.

4. Libido - Antipsychotics have rendered me disinterested in the love and affection department. God job I am single because I’m sure my hypothetical partner wouldn’t be impressed 😂🤦🏽

5. Feedback. I don’t think that I am given credence or fully respected by the health professionals that I see when I give them my own thoughts and feelings about stuff. I’m not trying to be anything other than a patient who has an interest in the situation and an interest in ME! We are the experts remember, living day in, day out with it. Our feedback is straight from the horse’s mouth as the saying goes.

#MightyTogether #MoodDisorders

5 reactions
Post

My new book "Whispers of a Wounded Heart" will be FREE from Oct. 30th-Nov. 3rd on AMAZON FOR Kindle

I'm sorry if you see this post somewhere else on here. But they really didn't give me a very large window. To offer this book for free 4. And I just, you know. I wanna reach as many hurting people as possible. Because that's, that's why I wrote the book.I wrote Whispers of a Wounded Heart because going through life broken afraid and hating myself just wasn't an option anymore and my life was falling apart around me(still is) in such an incredible fashion that it deserves a fireworks display. The local judge in my California town even dismissed my DUI charges in and unbelievable blessing and told me " you've paid more dearly in the past two years than anything this court could throw at you and you've been cooperative with all we've asked. I trust you won't do this again? OK your case is dismissed. Have a nice day, I do hope things turn around for you". Anyways writing helps me get things out of my head and start trying to just let it go. But My aim for my book was to reach other people like me. Those who suffer from mental illness or come from neglectful, or abusive families, those with severe depression and anxiety, Adjustment and or mood disorders, those who were picked on, taken advantage of, forgotten about. I want all those people suffering out there to know that they are not alone. And that if I can still be here after 5 hospitalizations for suicide attempts struggling with SI and a myriad of disorders, then maybe they can too. Maybe we can all work together just like we do on this site and end the loniless and the fear. Reinstate love and start healing oneanother. Please grab a copy while it's free. It's quite literally the essence of my soul put on paper in detail so vivid you feel like you could touch it. It's Pain and suffering agony and despair it's love and hope, unbridled joy, and Neverending perseverance. It's beautiful resilience of the Human Spirit on open display. I was going to be more honest about the evils I endured at the hand (not just the hand) of my adoptive mother. But last minute I modified many of my works and left a positive dedication just to be the bigger person boy do I regret that. Just in so announcing the release of my book to her am now completely ignore by all of them. Should have expected as much it's the same person who slammed the door in my face Xmas eve as I stood presents in hand surprising her in my dress Blue uniform as a U.S. Marine. If you enjoy my bookand hopefully it makes a difference in your life or the way you see things. Please recommend it to others you may know that might benefit from it. I Thank you very much, especially if you read this far. Thank you especially to whomever started this whole app.

www.amazon.com/dp/B0CLT4H2NN @

Amazon.com

Post

My new book "Whispers of a Wounded Heart" will be FREE from Oct. 30th-Nov. 3rd on AMAZON FOR Kindle

I'm sorry if you see this post somewhere else on here. But they really didn't give me a very large window. To offer this book for free 4. And I just, you know. I wanna reach as many hurting people as possible. Because that's, that's why I wrote the book.I wrote Whispers of a Wounded Heart because going through life broken afraid and hating myself just wasn't an option anymore and my life was falling apart around me(still is) in such an incredible fashion that it deserves a fireworks display. The local judge in my California town even dismissed my DUI charges in and unbelievable blessing and told me " you've paid more dearly in the past two years than anything this court could throw at you and you've been cooperative with all we've asked. I trust you won't do this again? OK your case is dismissed. Have a nice day, I do hope things turn around for you". Anyways writing helps me get things out of my head and start trying to just let it go. But My aim for my book was to reach other people like me. Those who suffer from mental illness or come from neglectful, or abusive families, those with severe depression and anxiety, Adjustment and or mood disorders, those who were picked on, taken advantage of, forgotten about. I want all those people suffering out there to know that they are not alone. And that if I can still be here after 5 hospitalizations for suicide attempts struggling with SI and a myriad of disorders, then maybe they can too. Maybe we can all work together just like we do on this site and end the loniless and the fear. Reinstate love and start healing oneanother. Please grab a copy while it's free. It's quite literally the essence of my soul put on paper in detail so vivid you feel like you could touch it. It's Pain and suffering agony and despair it's love and hope, unbridled joy, and Neverending perseverance. It's beautiful resilience of the Human Spirit on open display. I was going to be more honest about the evils I endured at the hand (not just the hand) of my adoptive mother. But last minute I modified many of my works and left a positive dedication just to be the bigger person boy do I regret that. Just in so announcing the release of my book to her am now completely ignore by all of them. Should have expected as much it's the same person who slammed the door in my face Xmas eve as I stood presents in hand surprising her in my dress Blue uniform as a U.S. Marine. If you enjoy my bookand hopefully it makes a difference in your life or the way you see things. Please recommend it to others you may know that might benefit from it. I Thank you very much, especially if you read this far. Thank you especially to whomever started this whole app.

www.amazon.com/dp/B0CLT4H2NN @