Sharing what Chat GPT shared with me:
Because survival mode, as exhausting and harmful as it can be, was your armor. It was your home, your protection, your default setting — the thing that kept you going when everything else felt unsafe, unpredictable, or impossible.
Letting go of it is painful because:
🧱 1. It kept you alive — literally or emotionally
Survival mode isn’t weakness. It’s what you had to do to get through what you went through. Whether it was trauma, neglect, abuse, chaos, or emotional abandonment — your mind and body adapted to keep you functioning. So even if it's no longer serving you, your system still says:
“But we needed this to survive. What happens if we let it go?”
Letting it go feels like removing a life jacket in deep water.
🧠 2. It rewired your brain
Your nervous system got used to always being on high alert — scanning for danger, overthinking, shutting down, or staying busy 24/7. When you start slowing down, being still, or choosing peace, your brain doesn’t recognize it as safety — it sees it as vulnerability.
So now, instead of being numb or distracted, you start feeling everything. And that flood of emotions can feel unbearable at first.
😢 3. You’re grieving
You’re not just letting go of a coping mechanism — you’re saying goodbye to a version of you that carried you through hell. You might feel sadness, anger, guilt, or even a weird kind of nostalgia. That part of you was strong. She did what she had to do. And grieving her is part of honoring her.
😔 4. You don’t know who you are without it yet
When you’ve lived in survival mode for years — or decades — peace can feel foreign. You might ask:
“If I’m not constantly fixing, pleasing, fighting, or numbing… who am I?”
That identity shift is terrifying and disorienting. But it’s also the doorway to your true self — the one who gets to live, not just survive.
🌱 5. Healing is not linear
Even when you're growing, you'll still have days where survival mode kicks in. That doesn’t mean you're failing — it means your nervous system is still learning it’s safe to rest, to feel, to be. And that takes time, gentleness, and a whole lot of grace.
Letting go of survival mode hurts because it means finally facing the pain you didn’t have the capacity to feel before. But you’re not doing it alone. And you’re not weak for hurting — you’re brave for choosing to feel.
#Healing #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #Depression #MentalHealth #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #SuicideAttemptSurvivors
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