post-traumatic stress disiroder

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    #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #PanicAttack #Depression #SleepDisorders #Job #MentalHealth

    Hi everyone! I hope all of you are safe and well wherever you are. My psychiatrist gave me a 10 day medical leave and I just got back to work yesterday. During the medical leave, my panic attacks and anxiety is still managable as I need not face my unreasonable boss and my smart alex colleague. As i am the only female in the whole department, they are like having some sexiet problem. I am in a male dominated industry, with 12 years of experience. But my smart alex colleague doesn’t seem to know what is to work as a team and always make things difficult. When he doesnt perform, my client will write or call me and make a fuss. As an Accoutnt Manager, I need to keep in check, the interest of my client and the service level rendered. With the amount they are paying every month. I just sealed a deal 2 months back, and my client just told me, I gave the deal to your company is not because of anything. Is because you are my Account Manager. Please dont leave the company before my contract ends with your company.

    My boss is ridiculous. He is rude. I will keep him updated on whatever proposal and upcoming projects that we are going to work on. He is kind of flicker minded. When i update him what is going on, he will reply “no need to tell me, you know how to manage” when i dont, he will say “ why didnt you tell me” hard to please yeah?

    He wanted to set up a meeting with me during my medical leave. So he text me during my medical leave and it was on a weekend. I said let me get back to work and settle my important appointments first then i will get back to you. He replied “ i thought you would take the initiative to approach me and set up a date?” I was like….? I am in still on medical leave. And he send another text, “ I think you should manage your time, not only you are busy, everyone is busy too” i am loss for words. Its still 4-5 days more before my medical leave ends.

    He expects me to visit my clients and reply to every single mail when i am on medical leave? If thats the case, i rather cancel my medical leave and get back to work. I myself know that i am not in a good state to work then.

    Seriously, this is draining me. I need to keep going til mid next year til my client contract ends before i could get a new job or head over to my competitors.

    I am just delivering my duties thats all. I guess I be better off at my competitors, at least without a boss like him.

    I am worried now that he will goggle or search for my doctor’s name. And….. everything will come to light that i am seeing a psychiatrist. As mental health is still a stigma.

    Sigh. I am really drianed. I am so tired of working especially the thought of seeing him. Lucky i got to work hybridity, if not i think it will be worst.

    But his mails and texts will drive me up the wall. And make my panic attacks go hay wire. At times, it gets so bad that my hands and feets gets cold and shake so badly. And its out of my control. I will start to question myself. Am i at fault? What did i do again? I must be f****** stupid! Sigh

    Then my speech will start to slutter and my heart will feel like its coming out from my body.

    Am i really that useless?

    #AnxietyAttack #PanicAttack #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #MentalHealth #Job #Anxiety

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    #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #Anxiety #SleepDisorders

    Hi guys! I hope all of you are safe and well. I am supposed to start work on monday. But I am feeling so fatigued after my dose of vaccine and I postponed it to next week. I dont know whats wrong with me. I just want to stay home and catch up on whatever I am missing and I just need some me time.

    Meanwhile, I really miss my psychiatrist- if you have read my previous post.

    Is there something wrong with me?

    #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #Anxiety #SleepDisorders

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    Swimming in the anxious thoughts and feels that only #Flashbacks can provide. #emotional ones tonight, you know, in case we forgot the feels we've been trying to forget all these years. I can't explain the #Fear sitting in the pit of my stomach like a two ton rock, sticking me to the chair with little hope of extraction with anything less than a construction crane. How do I make sense of sitting at work, physically safe, terrified of simply existing in this time and space. It's 1982, right?
    It is.
    It has to be.
    And then the visual elements began to move into place inside my mind's eye. The veins pulsing in his extra long forehead as the firework display of spittle sprays across my face. His big hands gripping the even bigger TV remote like it's my neck.
    Surrounding it in its entirety and swallowing it into his powerful grasp.
    The barcalounger footrest not going down entirely with wooden handle half pulled, pushing against the back of his legs in a way that would topple me at my size.
    How do I do this? How do I continue to tell young parts we are safe now when safe is the absolute last thing I feel.
    Safe?
    No. No, definitely not safe. That doesn't even begin to describe the feeling inside.

    #DID #dissociativedisorders #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #Dissociation #Anxiety #PTSD #CPTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder

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    Dark spaces

    How does everyone manage to get out of those dark episodes?
    Tonights sunset hasn't been setting well.
    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #severedepression #BipolarDepression #CheckInWithMe #PTSD #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder

    2 comments
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    Overcoming my PTSD #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #PTSD #Trauma

    Lately I have been finding that one if the biggest things holding me back from growing as a person and becoming better mentally is my trauma. I constantly have flashbacks, I have so many triggers for so many different things. It effects my everyday life so much and it stops me from functioning as a normal teenager so much! I just wanna know any possible ways to overcome trauma. To convince yourself that YOU are STRONGER then what ever is haunting you from the past. I have tried so hard to fight my demons face to face but it hasn’t worked for me. Just caused me to break down. #PTSD #Trauma #SexualTrauma #SexualViolenceSurvivors

    15 comments
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    Why do you feel strongly about CPTSD being it's own, separate disorder? From your personal experience, what distinguishes it from PTSD or BPD?

    I want to hear about symptom manifestation and treatment effectiveness to reference in a persuasive essay I'm writing! #CPTSD #Complex Post Traumatic Stress #PTSD #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #StressDiagnosis #TraumaRecovery #Selfdiagnoses #Dissociation

    3 comments
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    does anyone’s pupils get big when they #disassociate??

    I think I’m disassociated right now and like my pupils are really big. I thought it did that when I was manic but then I was told that that behavior and feeling is me disassociating. I don’t know exactly what it really is tho. I’m so confused and worried. I hate this feeling. I feel like not here and like I can do anything because it feels like I’m in a dream or something. I told my dad and he was like “are you on drugs” but I’m not. I just don’t understand this feeling and my pupils are really big and I’m wondering if that’s part of disassociating. so please help me. anyone. #Disassociative #dissociativeamnesia #dissociativedisorders #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DissociationDisorders #DissociativeFugue #Dissociation #PTSD #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    9 comments
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    struggling with flashbacks

    I hate posting my problems on forums but I’m really struggling at the moment. I keep having flashbacks of when I was in abusive relationship several years ago. They spiral and turn into violent outbursts and psychotic episodes, I feel like I’m losing all control over my mind and body and I’m terrified.
    I know I’m pushing my current partner away, I’m scared I’m going to lose him but I feel powerless to stop it.
    I’m not even sure why I’m posting on here but I guess I’m hoping someone understands. #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Flashbacks #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #Psychosis

    5 comments