My childhood memories are sad and painful. Barely had moments of joy. I always was tense because I had to behave all week at school. The weekend was not fun either . There were things to do on Saturday barely any fun unless with church outings. Ahhh! Sunday I had to be even more well behaved,as my mom’s child I had to be perfect. I realize mom is a narcissist. Now she is old and no longer has a magnetic strong hold on me. I married to a abusive man. Psychology abusive and verbally abusive and a hand full of times psysactly abuse me. It took a lot of time to heal. Yet I cannot talk to my therapist about my childhood trauma because she wants me to be present.
You have friends and partners that you can’t share your experiences. They quickly become overwhelmed. I call it overstimulated by the stories of your life. There’s always the rebuttal of your partner stating that it was the past. Or why you have to bring that up? Your inner child cries when witnesses similar stories in others. In a movie or show or a book. Yet no one wants to hear your story. I have to forgive,forget,move forward. Overcome,endure,survive. But never acknowledge nor cry your the victim.
But I am the victim! Why do people get mad when someone says they been victimized over others actions? There’s the saying “you allowed someone to hurt you “ I was a child! Doesn’t that count for something? No,survive,overcome and move on. Like if the scares and you’re whole character is built around the traumas affect. Not fair! When an animal gets hurt no one blames the animal. No matter how old that animal are. You have to allow at one time in your life mourn for the death of your innocent childhood. In order to heal. #Livingwithdepression #Caregivers #ChildLoss
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