WorkAnxiety

I have been struggling with my anxiety quite a bit for the last couple of months and it manifests into physical symptoms (headaches, stomach issues, etc) so I was missing work at least 3 times a month or coming in late. I finally told my boss what was going on and how it was affecting my work. She was very understanding and wanted to know how she could help make the situation better, and we had a good chat about it.

The last couple weeks I have managed to come in every day but I have been late a couple times, some issues that have nothing to do with anxiety(my dog throwing up on my carpet as I’m getting ready for work...😒) and this morning I opened my email at work to a message from my boss talking about my lateness and suggesting that I adjust my shift to start an hour later to see if that will help.

Well, this just sent my brain racing for the rest of the day, I went out to my car and cried on my break. I emailed her back at the end of the day asking if we could talk about it tomorrow and then cried the whole drive home. I don’t know how to explain to my boss that change, even a small change, sets off my anxiety to the point where my thoughts start racing and start making going down the road of all my anxieties and catastrophizing everything. And then I start thinking that I’m just being dramatic and maybe I am manipulating everyone.

I don’t know, I got home and snuggled with my dog. That always helps.
#AnxietyAttack #Anxiety #Workplace #WorkAnxiety

I don't know how they can do it, because I can't, not with my current state of mental health. I used to think that I can. Back when I was in college, I was part of a highly competitive class and quality work was always expected from each one. Back then, working under pressure meant pulling out all nighters just to get things done before deadlines, or surviving three exams for different classesin a single day. It wasn't easy, but I was young, healthy and motivated. I was usually rewarded at the end of the semester with a fairly high grade. That was before. Then my mental health failed me. Then I graduated and landed a job.

I didn't realize how poorly I actually worked under pressure until I started to get anxiety attacks upon facing a tight deadline. I had to change my ringtones every now and then just so I don't get phantom calls from my boss or any of our clients. I shrink at the end of the phone line every time a client rants without remorse. My heart beats fast as my brain slows down when I am asked a question that I was not prepared for. Eventually, pulling up all nighters for me meant a whole day or two of flu like symptoms. I am already filled with dread whenever I am assigned to do any specialized task. All my mind and body wants to do now is rest.

How is my mental health through all this? Obviously it went downhill. But I didn't know how lower it could go or how much longer I can take it without breaking down. I have failed to equip myself with the proper coping mechanisms and self care strategies to keep myself afloat through all this. I constantly put off seeing a mental health specialist and getting proper diagnosis just because I want to stay neurotypical, even though i know, deep down that I am not.

Working under pressure is a value that has been prized by most capitalist industries for the past few decades because it is the value that brings out results. But niw we know that it is no longer the most optimal way to work. Yes, it brings out the results, but it can also bring out the worst in people - low quality outputs, physical stress symptoms, anxious thoughts and emotions, strained relationships, poor decision making, burnout. This list can go on. There may be very few special people who can actually work under pressure for their whole career, but will always choose not to. I do hope that the disruptions caused by the current global pandemic can also bring an end to glorifying this unhealthy workplace value. I can only hope that future workplaces would choose to strive for quality with less pressure.

#Anxiety #Pressure #WorkAnxiety #Workplace #JobSearch #Procrastination #Burnout

Everytime I try to discuss it with my boss I feel like she perceives is either as drama, as something that needs to be related to a particular circumstance in my life that’s going wrong or victimization to get out of tasks or rexeiving feedback. How do you onboard in this topic someone super assertive that has never experienced anxiety and depression?

Thursday night is my most manic night as tomorrow is Friday and I'll be off for the weekend. My current routine is to wake up and drink a cup of coffee with my medication. Then drink a glass of water, eat an apple and hop to my bed to crack open the laptop and get to work.

Fridays I get an hour lunch + an hour break during our virtual happy hour, a tradition carrying forward from when we were in the office milling around the taps.

It's honestly one of the longest days of the week for me. Worse than Monday and it's often a payday, meaning I am sitting for 8 hours with a significantly reduced workload desperately finding anything to do so I don't get targeted for a layoff or furlough.

It's stressful and frustrating and Thursday nights I'm thinking I can't wait until the end of tomorrow's workday so I can stop the facade of productivity during a global pandemic, sometimes as early as 6 AM Thursday morning up until the time I drift to sleep.

Anyone else having similar fears, anxieties? Ants in their pants?

Serious Post:
Informational for others wondering the same...if people leave comments:
Can we do more than joke and panic about Corona?

Sometimes I feel like the only good jobs(a job you can live on by yourself) here in FL are call centers, sales, a license in something, or your own business...how can I get out of the call center trapped lifestyle until I finish my degree? It’s not for me. #Working #Jobs #Anxiety #WorkAnxiety #Newjob #depressed #Worrying

Hi, I'm new and awkwardly annoying. I love writing, research, over sharing, ice cream and making things better for people. My biggest flaw is using humor to ignore my problems. My novelization writing style is severely underappreciated and is currently punishable via threat of termination.

Please bear with me during this over dramatically written account. I will hold my questions until the end. My apologies as it has already made me delete my first few versions and several hours of work.

My imagination, apologizing and honesty has driven me into this, The Twilight Zone. I over corrected as communication is not what my corporate overlords wanted from me.

I am a thing to be used and nothing else. 1 or a 0 or a box to be ignored after being checked on once a year.

Once again I am surrounded by people but, I know that I am completely alone. If I share anything about anxiety it may humanize me. They might just understand why I am like this day after day.

I am to be just a body at a desk smiling like a robotic idiot. The customers will barely even register the scripted words falling flat. Going off script is encouraged to form a one sided relationship, everything you say as a customer is so interesting.

I know I need a new job, as I almost got fired for reasons that are absolutely laughable. If I disclose any details to anyone they'll fire me. I cannot work here knowing what I know now.

To them I am not important, I will never be important, and I am to be seen not heard. Standing up for myself and others will only lead to dismissal.

Questions:
Currently looking at remote work from anywhere jobs. I think it will help but, will make my anxiety worse?

Any advice from people with experience working remotely with anxiety?

I'm medicated and trying to work independently through 3 cognitive behavioral therapy workbooks. I want to look at therapy but I don't think I can afford it. . . especially if I lose my job.

What if anything helps you cope with the people that refuse to understand or care?

Does anyone know of any good support groups?

#Anxiety #WorkAnxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Complex Post Traumatic Stress #perfectionism #WorkAtHome #SupportGroups #phobias

I have been in a new workplace for about 1 month but each night I will have difficulty going to sleep. To a point that I will cry almost every night before going to bed and I will think of all possibilities that could go wrong or have gone wrong in the workplace. up to a point that I feel like ending my life because it is too much to take. And to top it all my employer is a perfectionist. any small error made, there she goes with the criticism. I just can’t shake this anxious feeling. #Anxiety #WorkAnxiety

anything about my job makes me anxious. just thinking about going makes my heart feel like it’s gonna best out of my chest. I’m not allowed to tell anyone this tho bc I’m a teacher and it’s supposed to be the most rewarding job...idk what to do about that.

i took medical leaves for 8 months since i diagnosed with Lupus. There‘s a policy in my company said that every sick employee will get full paid for 12 months but on the 6th months they reduce my salary without any formal information. Today i heard from my colleague that they’ve cut my medical benefit too since monday, and put me back to another company without any information. It hurt my feelings, hope they walk in my shoes for a while.