I've been talking to this woman for a very short time. She is amazing. She is very well versed in BPD. She thinks that BPD can be beautiful . I think she called it a superhero power. I've been trying to maintain but I'm losing the battle. She gets it. She told me that she will stay even in a borderline moment. My friend told me to trust, because I don't.i decided to just screw it and trust completely.
A few weeks ago I got the one thing I've really missed my entire life. Friends who get me. One even read about it. I got an intimacy that night that I didn't know I needed. So I officially didn't care anymore of finding a partner. A week ago she messaged me on an app I have pretty much never used.
I want to know my feelings are real and not just the BPD grasping.
I created this rule for myself, that I won't discuss feelings for at least a month. And no meeting family for 6 months. I want my next one to be real and lasting. Someone who sees me. And she absolutely does.
I always feel like I need to come with a warning label, but not with her. I had a mini episode today and she responded in a way I never thought possible. She said I was having feelings and that's okay and she was happy I communicated. And she fixed it right away.
I feel her... it's crazy.
I'm trying so freakng hard to not jump. I feel like I can't trust my own feelings