Somatic Symptom and Related Disorders

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Somatic Symptom and Related Disorders
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    Am I crazy for wanting to stop the psychiatric drugs I’ve been on since I was 12 after a POTs diagnosis?

    I’ve been drugged into oblivion for many years now. I’d always really felt like crap physically and I have no doubt that that has made me depressed, I don’t deny that. When I was able to express what was wrong with me my mother schleped me to doctors all over creation to figure out what was wrong.

    I endured more tests than I can count with no detected abnormalities. Was I really this crazy? Were my symptoms a manifestation of my wild imagination? A psychiatrist seemed to think so. Over the years I accumulated several diagnoses. ADD for my foggy brain and concentration issues, anxiety because of my stomach aches, cyclothymia (baby bipolar) for my adrenaline spikes that gave me bursts of energy, and depression.

    After that my pill holder continued to expand and I was put on a lot of drugs. No doctor would take any of my symptoms seriously and were considered ‘somatic’ and the result of ‘anxiety’. It was the most depressing and isolating time of my life. Five years later I read a blog post on POTs and I knew that I had an answer. I was soooo relieved when I received a diagnosis that confirmed I wasn’t insane.

    The question was, what now? Do I stick with the drugs? After all those years I will never stop doubting my mental health, but do I really need all the pills? I don’t even know who I am without them and that is utterly terrifying.

    One of the things that maybe hurts the most is that the therapist I saw has POTs. She knew how I felt. She helped put me on all those pills and advocated for the somatic manifestation theory. Sometimes it legit infuriates me. Why did she help do this to me?

    I want to stop atleast some of my pills. I don’t have anxiety, I never had anxiety. The others are more up for debate, but even with the POTs diagnosis I will never get a doctor that will say they were wrong. That I don’t need the pills. I’m really not sure what I should do. I don’t want to be drugged into oblivion anymore but throwing them away seems rash. Anyone have any suggestions?

    #POTS #LivingWithPOTS #Dysautonomia #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #MentalHealth

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    Am I crazy for wanting to stop the psychiatric drugs I’ve been on since I was 12 after a POTs diagnosis?

    I’ve been drugged into oblivion for many years now. I’d always really felt like crap physically and I have no doubt that that has made me depressed, I don’t deny that. When I was able to express what was wrong with me my mother schleped me to doctors all over creation to figure out what was wrong.

    I endured more tests than I can count with no detected abnormalities. Was I really this crazy? Were my symptoms a manifestation of my wild imagination? A psychiatrist seemed to think so. Over the years I accumulated several diagnoses. ADD for my foggy brain and concentration issues, anxiety because of my stomach aches, cyclothymia (baby bipolar) for my adrenaline spikes that gave me bursts of energy, and depression.

    After that my pill holder continued to expand and I was put on a lot of drugs. No doctor would take any of my symptoms seriously and were considered ‘somatic’ and the result of ‘anxiety’. It was the most depressing and isolating time of my life. Five years later I read a blog post on POTs and I knew that I had an answer. I was soooo relieved when I received a diagnosis that confirmed I wasn’t insane.

    The question was, what now? Do I stick with the drugs? After all those years I will never stop doubting my mental health, but do I really need all the pills? I don’t even know who I am without them and that is utterly terrifying.

    One of the things that maybe hurts the most is that the therapist I saw has POTs. She knew how I felt. She helped put me on all those pills and advocated for the somatic manifestation theory. Sometimes it legit infuriates me. Why did she help do this to me?

    I want to stop atleast some of my pills. I don’t have anxiety, I never had anxiety. The others are more up for debate, but even with the POTs diagnosis I will never get a doctor that will say they were wrong. That I don’t need the pills. I’m really not sure what I should do. I don’t want to be drugged into oblivion anymore but throwing them away seems rash. Anyone have any suggestions?

    #POTS #LivingWithPOTS #Dysautonomia #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #MentalHealth

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    Where My Mind Is (18)

    This is a post I saw the other day which reasonated with me. It made me emotional. For me, when I have a time period where I’m doing okay and things really aren’t that bad and I somehow end up going back to a negative mindset, I feel like it is its own form of relapse almost. By no means am I trying to down play relapse for others but for myself I feel like this emotional experience is sort of like relapsing...like doing pretty okay, got a fairly decent streak going and something happens that makes me start over. I feel that it’s hard to get back to being okay when falling back into a destructive mindset occurs. This has happened to me a lot in the past 6 months or so. Different things cause it each time. I’ll soon be sharing another personal post talking about one of my experiences.

    In the meantime, I want you all to know that it is okay when this happens. I don’t think this determines anything about who we are as a person nor our abilities or our futures. I know it’s a very devastating feeling when it happens, but I truly believe in people’s abilities to come back from it and try again. The progress is never linear, which is frustrating but a part of life. I don’t think there is anything easy about healing. But there is always some growth each time. It can seem or feel minuscule but it is there and that definitely counts for something.

    Give yourself credit for what you have been able to do. It has worth and it is meaningful. You are mighty and you got this. I got this. We got this.

    Feel free to share a time when this has happened to you. I always want to hear others experiences.

    Sending all my supportive and positive vibes your way.

    #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Parenting #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether #ADHD #Autism #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #DepressiveDisorders #EatingDisorders #NeurodevelopmentalDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #PersonalityDisorders #PTSD #Schizophrenia #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #IntrusiveThoughts #Trauma #growth #resilience #Positivity #Reflection #WhereMyMindIs

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    Be kind to you

    Be kind to you, okay?

    I went to counseling this morning. I go often. It’s hard work, especially when you’re doing the courageous work of
    F E E L I N G
    for
    H E A L I N G.

    But here’s what I sometimes do...sometimes I’ll rush straight into my task list for the day after my counseling appointment.

    Even though sometimes I feel like I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep instead.

    But I’m learning not to push myself. My counselor said, “A person wouldn’t rush from surgery to go run a board meeting. And that’s what’s going on here. You’ve been vulnerable and opened up. Don’t try to conquer everything today.”

    So I won’t. Because my healing? That’s a big thing to work on conquering on its own. And I know this work will be the work that truly matters in the end...for me, for my family, for my friends, for my purpose.

    You, my friend, are worth taking care of. Be kind to you, okay? 🤍

    #CPTSD #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Depression #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #Anxiety #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #Childhoodabuseandneglect #narcissisticabusesurvivor

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    Please Remember...

    For those of you who are hurting, feel like you have no more fight in you, think it is time to give up and want to end it all - I hope that you hold on. It may feel like the pain will never end. One day it will. There will be days where you have a genuine smile on your face, a real laugh comes from you, someone gives you the warmest affection, you will feel content with what it is you have. There are better days to come. I can’t apologize enough for the pain you’ve endured. I can’t imagine how hard things have been for you. I can’t truly understand everything that is happening to you. I can’t magically make it all better. Even though we don’t know each other, I can tell you that I believe in your ability to fight and persevere though the battles you are fighting right now. It is not easy. It never is. But you have the strength to keep going. You guys are Mighty warriors and you are some of the strongest individuals out there.

    If you or someone you love needs help, please refer to The Mighty's suicide prevention page at themighty.com/suicide-prevention-resources
    You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. If you’re uncomfortable speaking on the phone, you can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741. These numbers are here for a reason.

    I hope that you talk, share what is on your mind with someone so you are not keeping those thoughts to yourself. Whether that someone is a loved one or someone on this app, I ask that you connect with another person who will listen and care. You matter. You are not a waste of space. You are not a mistake or accident. You have a purpose. You are cared for. You are loved. You are worth it. You are enough.

    I am sending all my love and positivity to each and every one of you.

    Take care of yourselves.

    #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Parenting #MightyTogether #CheckInWithMe #ADHD #Autism #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #DepressiveDisorders #EatingDisorders #IntrusiveThoughts #NeurodevelopmentalDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PersonalityDisorders #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #Schizophrenia #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #Selfharm #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #SuicidalIdeation #Trauma #WhereMyMindIs #MentalHealthResources #Hope

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    Where My Mind Is (14)

    For those of you who have those dark, negative, anxiety provoking thoughts - that seep into your mind, sometimes when you’re laughing while talking to a friend, trying to fall asleep at night, or even when you’re focused on a task, know that those bad thoughts aren’t facts.

    Our thoughts are very powerful. I personally feel like it is so easy to believe and buy into the hateful, pessimistic thoughts that come into my mind. The thoughts can be so intrusive sometimes and it can feel overwhelming, and it’s to the point where you really can’t hear anything else. At times it scares me, that my mind manages to come with such thoughts.

    All of our experiences with bad thoughts are different. I don’t have the answer on how to make it stop, but I wanted to post this as a reminder. The mean, negative thoughts that insult you and try to tear you down - they are not facts. I know a lot of us have battles going on in our minds and are constantly fighting; some of us never get a break from it.

    In case you weren’t recently told, I’m proud of you for making it another day. Especially those of you who are fighting with their thoughts 24/7. I see you. Keep moving forward. You are doing great.

    #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Parenting #ADHD #Autism #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #DepressiveDisorders #EatingDisorders #NeurodevelopmentalDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #PersonalityDisorders #PTSD #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #Schizophrenia #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Selfharm #Trauma #IntrusiveThoughts #WhereMyMindIs

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    Where My Mind Is (13)

    In general, I apologize all the time. At times it makes sense to say sorry - when I accidentally bump into someone, when I hear about something sad and tragic, when I make a mistake at work, when I am in the wrong of an argument. But most of the time, it's more like I'm apologizing for my existence. I wish I would stop. I recently realized that when I say sorry to my friends, it provides me some kind of fast temporary relief. As if my mind is telling me "If you throw in a quick apology at the end of your vent or rant, it will not seem to be as much for the other person" or somehow saying sorry will make me feel like I'm less of a pain in the ass.

    Sometimes I think it is because despite that person being my friend, or someone who supports me, I still feel like I could be judged for my reactions. As if they are thinking that my reaction is out of proportion and they are annoyed or confused by me (I don't get why she's freaking out, this is a super small problem.) or maybe I am taking up their time (I have other stuff I need to do and she's holding me up.)

    It's all frustratingly stupid. I shouldn't apologize for essentially being a human who needs support. I believe that's something that everyone needs and we are deserving of people who care and support us. If another person is present, if that person cares, they will not view you as a burden, nor would they expect you to apologize for taking up time. I think it's also a good way to gauge how much a person cares, to what extent they will go for you to be a support, and whether or not you should have them as a go-to person at times when you are more vulnerable.

    I say all of this but I still struggle with it. In person, I have many impulses to apologize, especially when I'm emotional. I'm working on it. Even though in person I haven't really been able to stop myself from slipping an apology, where I'm currently at is being able to be a bit more aware in my text messages to people. When I sometimes just have a question to ask "Hey, sorry to bother you..." or after venting or ranting "Sorry for taking up your time, I know you're busy" or "I'm sorry, I know I'm overreacting". I press that backspace button several times and retype my question or statement.

    Just like many other things in my life, it is a work in progress.

    #MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Disability #RareDisease #Parenting #DistractMe #CheckInWithMe #ADHD #Autism #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorder #Depression #DepressiveDisorders #MajorDepressiveDisorder #EatingDisorders #NeurodevelopmentalDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #PersonalityDisorders #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #Trauma #WhereMyMindIs

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    Where My Mind Is (12)

    Every sentence in this photo speaks volumes. Please remember that you are in control of yourself, your story, your life. Anything and anyone along the way does not make or define your life. Very easily we get sucked back into our past, trauma, the comparisons people put on us, our mistakes, and so much more that prevents us from being our genuine, present selves. You're all doing what you can to the best of your ability. You're surviving and have come a long way. You're learning and growing. I am proud of you. Remember you are your own. We are all out here trying to figure ourselves out in this crazy, chaotic world.
    Sending positivity, love and support 💖

    #MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Disability #RareDisease #Parenting #CheckInWithMe #Abuse #Autism #Anxiety #ADHD #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #borderlinepersonality #DepressiveDisorders #Depression #EatingDisorders #NeurodevelopmentalDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #PersonalityDisorders #PTSD #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Trauma #WhereMyMindIs