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Present Life #MightyTogether #Write #blogger #MentalHealth #innerchild #heal #Addiction #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #PTSD #growth

I just wanted to let everyone know a little about my present life at the moment. My girls and I are preparing to head out on vacation in 2 weeks and I've been spending a lot of time working on my new website misunderstoodchaos.com

Feel free to stop by and check out the new posts. I've also been getting ready for summer semester to start back up. I'm actually ready to tackle classes again. This mental health break has been life changing and I'm grateful for the growth, but I'm ready to get back to living!!

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What does this mean to you?

Have you ever felt like people think they know you without knowing the whole you?
#Write #WritingThroughIt #WritingTips

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Writing is righting

Having woken up one morning to the news of the passing of a beloved uncle when I was 12. I am sure has affected a large part of my adult life as I try to go on with life. What came from that experience was the ability to sit in my room and allow my feelings and emotions to pour itself onto a blank sheet of paper. Experience the gift of poetry, not from an educated or literature sense but just the act of being, of doing it. Feeling where I was in the moment and allow myself to share what I was feeling in a journal. I think that is why social media has become so powerful in today's world and mental illnesses have been on the rise. I have been caught in thay as well with the distraction away from sitting down with myself and my thoughts and a blank piece of paper. The great thing about Journaling is there are no grades, no judgements and no critiques on what you write :)

#keepajournal #Write

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The right people

people will show true colors.
When they lost interest in you.
Or your too much
The right people will want you in there lives.
The right people will never ghost.
Never abandon you.
You can grow together.
Be selfish but dont involve me in your life.
If your gonna ghost or abandon me.
You can work on yourself and grow with others as support along your journey.
Done with people ghosting or abandoning people in this world.
Life is hard.
We all struggle.
Your not the only one.
There is hope for tommrow
With the right people at your side.

#poet #Poetry #Positivity #imhereforyou #WritingThroughIt #Write #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #mentalhealthmatters

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Self Care Tips

In order for a habit and new practice to take flesh, it needs a thought or thought pattern. Thoughts are seeds that blossom into attitude and action. Journaling is a multi faceted practice that can be used as a canvas to express your thoughts on paper or your device. Whether it is to express your anxiety over things your dealing with, plan your day, set objectives or create positive affirmations to motivate or uplift yourself ; writing things down is the foundation of determining what is on your heart and mind; it is the catalyst for self reflection; going inwards for self discovery, self assessment and goal setting to address your needs on every level. No journalism or literature degreee required; it’s not about the quality of your writing, diction or ability to articulate like a publisheed author. It’s about being honest with yourself and paving a path for growth and self development. #Write #journalyourlifeaway #Selfcare #behonestwithyourself #mindsetiseverything #writetodiscover #writetoheal #writetogrow

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Sailing with my best friends 🌊

What you see up there, are my best friends
My journals 🖊📖

I wasn’t really interested in journalizing when i started therapy
After my meeting my new therapist, i began discovering this great activity of getting all what’s on your head out 💗
What’s even more beautiful is the fact that you’ll tell most of what you wrote to your therapist
Meaning that you’ll share what you wrote with someone trustworthy and loving your work

———
My mind is what directs my pen as i sail through high and low waves of my emotions and thoughts

I go through hard storms, waves, and thunders

I face all of this with a kind heart, listening to my sweet fav songs list and letting the wave guide me through the safest spots in my mind

After all, i reach my destination with passion by letting everything behind

Letting everything sink in the ocean’s deep water

Finally i’m on my safe place ..

Having as a result the most beautiful poems, quotes, and beautiful feelings
———

Writing comforts me, and makes me feel safe and relaxed

It’s like getting your mind back
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #Journaling #Write

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writing into a new world #Writing #Write

I deal with my hard times including my mental health problems by writing into a new wold in my brain. I believe it can cure mental health problems by writing into a new world a made up world were ANYTHING can happen.

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A #Poem titled, #ouch

Disturbed
Hurt
Misunderstood
Bothered
Irritated
Scared
Worried
Angry
Nauseous
Confused
Sadness
Grief
Disturbed
Worried
Wondering
Why now?
Why me?
Why tonight?

#ChronicPain #PTSD #Health #wellness #Recovery #Write #poems #Brave #strong yet #Defeated

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Uh A LOT of #random pieces of my ashamed & weird mind

First, I am going to use this site as a diary, I believe. So please, by no means should anyone feel forced to read my crap. I am scared to post, but there we are; my disclaimer. You've been warned! :)

Tonight I #Write trying to get back in touch with #whoiam after an extremely #Manipulative #Controlling degrading #AbusiveRelationship . More than 1 person warns me this could be dangerous I am battling both the fear that it will be dangerous but as twisted as it seems I think I may actually be more selfishly afraid that I'll be #Forgotten #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder 
#FearOfAbandonment 

I have been losing people all of my life and not one person has stayed even if they came back everyone has had to take a break. A few years ago I went to 7 different psychiatrists and specialists looking for help and LITERALLY everyone of them told me the same answer more or less but their is one answer to my #seekinghelp that will forever be embedded in my mind, word for word.
"You are too #Traumatized to help , " he said. That cut me so deep I still feel scared today that he was right. But I'm here. Trying to prove wrong this theory quiet a few doctors seem to think of when it comes to me.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 6 years old so most of my life none of them gave me hope just #pills that didn't do anything for it wasn't a chemical imbalance instead it was just about everything else out of balance and wrong in life causing my behaviors. But everyone was too busy #fighting or whatever else the case may be to ever realize just how badly all the #Rejection  #abandonment #SexualAssault
#violence"> #FosterCare #Adoption SUCKS ... 
At 4 I was #Cutting something I do not support in others but also do not judge in others for your life matters far more than mine I assure you... No one noticed. I've been #invisible since I can recall. 

And while the #Relationshipproblems I had recently are going away as I attempt to hide from him and ignore how it hurts I still feel that stupid #Child within me terrified I am gonna vanish because no one will ever love me again and 'bad' love surely is better than no #Love - this is #panic talking, I think... 
Oh I don't know.
recently moved into a new house with my #grandma for #Caregiving and at first because I wanted to. But she has grown ... very different over the past year all her other children abandon her and while she just recently said she thinks she made a #mistake in letting me stay around instead of having to be further shoved from person to person, institution to institution, despite her doubt in that, I do love her and am glad she did even if life has been one massive hell hole with nothing but shadows filled with violence, anger, terror, horrible things done to a child, rather I say, the innocence stolen, full of every day questions about the next rejection or abandonment or if worry; worry that if I fell asleep she would be dead in the morning because I hadn't been able to save her.

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