Colorectal Cancer

It has never crossed my mind to write a grief list. Here goes... 1) I have just lost 2 very dear friends in the span of 10 days. Gunter on 3/3/22 and Isabelle on 13/3/22. It has TRIGGERED my "long-standing-undiagnosed-depression/they call it DYSTHYMIA" for over 12 years now since my mom died on 28/3/10. 2) I am 49 and have gone back to university to pursue a Masters's degree in order to gain back employment in the following year. 3) Meanwhile in the last few weeks/March still, I recently was suspected of colorectal cancer w the CTScan but the Colonoscopy was clear! It threw me off the rails. 4) I seem to have lost focus, interest, hypersomnia, and am rather dysfunctional. I DONT KNOW WOT TO DO or UNDO. Please help. Compassionate-constructive help is welcomed. xx

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#Depression

So…I’m back again. I had a foraminotomy on C6 and C7 in 2019. I got relief of all my radiculopathy symptoms once I fully healed and I thought, “Well, that was an interesting experience!!” And started to move on. Then, I got busy taking care of everyone else. My husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 Colorectal cancer. My daughter was diagnosed with Depression l, Anxiety, and OCD. Then Covid hit and my son’s Autism, ADHD, depression and anxiety got worse. My daughter’s depression, anxiety, and OCD got worse. My husband was in and out of the hospital with chemotherapy, radiation, and several surgeries. He’s cancer free now, but still dealing with effects from the surgeries and treatment. I started working out more to handle the stress of taking care of everyone. Then, I pulled an all nighter for work at my new job, my dream gig I just got…and my left hand was numb, the left pinkie and ring finger, the same side I had my foraminotomy on. Crap. I give it a couple of weeks, stretch, do yoga, etc, but it does get better. Meanwhile, as I was working out, I noticed weakness and shaking in my knees and legs that kept getting worse and my lower back was sore, but who’s isn’t really? Finally after my daughter nags me, I scheduled an appointment with my neurosurgeon’s NP. She orders a MRI of my neck and my husband reminds me of my lower back and convinced her to just get one of that, too. Well, from the report, neither sounded good. My neck added a few bulging discs to go along with the “severe foraminal stenosis,” and my lower back had bulging discs and a herniated disc at L5-S1. To my surprise, my surgeon wasn’t really worried about my hand or neck, but wanted to operate right away on the herniated disc at L5-S1. It was cutting off half the space for my spinal cord. I’m one week post-op from a microdiscectomy there. My hand is still numb and it’s kind of important to me because I work in IT and type for a living. I’m just worried that since he said my cervical MRI was “looking better,” that my hand is just going to remain like this. I’m happy my legs aren’t shaking and even a week post op my lower back feels better than it did before surgery, so I don’t want to seem ungrateful and st least it’s just numb instead of hurting like last time.
#CervicalRadiculopathy #DegenerativeDiscDisease #SpinalStenosis

Saturday is my preferred self care day, because of a YouTube show I subscribed to.

The main actor and manager, aka "Gly" is a Mighty too. He survived a colorectal cancer.
He started this exploration entertainment about 3 years ago, almost alone.

This is about old mines exploration in USA, recorded live but edited before broadcasting.
It is also destined to be educational, to anyone, kids included.

We exchanged a few emails as I asked details about gold, silver, copper, lead mining techniques.

There are 82 episodes so far.

I recommend it if you are adventurous minded.

It is called "Exploring mines and abandoned places".

Enjoy.

I know it’s probably just anxiety and my BPD making me think in extremes, but what if it’s not? I’ve been bleeding from what is presumed to be a hemorrhoid for a while now, but it got a lot worse today. My grandma had colorectal cancer at 37 and she thought it was just a hemorrhoid but it turned out to be cancer. She survived the first round of cancer but not the second 20 years later. I’m honestly scared because the familial trend is to skip a generation and my generation is the next in line....
I’m waiting for the GI nurse to call back. #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Cancer