gaslight

A bit more than a year ago I stepped out of an emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship. I had given up so much of myself for the relationship that, once it ended, I wasn't sure anymore who I was or what my purpose is. I've suffered through terribly dark days, wishing for death to come, only being held back by the thought of my dear ginger cat, Eddie. Any advice from people who have been through similar situations? #Depression #EmotionalAbuse #gaslight

I did something back in January I never thought I'd be able to do just a few years ago - I deleted all of the old emails and messages I had kept from family members as evidence of their toxic abuse cycles; reminders just so I would never be tempted back into their drama. Since this year marks ten years of drawing the line, I decided to simply let go and just delete it all. Every single one. After I did, it was like a weight had been lifted. For ten years I had been carrying all of their words with me, and all of the memories and pain that came with each heartless message. I didn't realize how heavy it was all weighing on me until I selected each one for trash. Even out of sight, they were still in the back of my mind, only I didn't realize how much so until I hit delete.

Now it's March, and I'm still in awe of how far I've come in my healing. It's been slow going, yes, but that's to be expected after having such a poor start in life. I'm still growing, still learning, even at the age of 40. And I think, as long as I keep going, and keep trying to push past my fears and self-doubt, everything will be okay. Despite all the twisted indoctrination I was force fed by family, I've learned to accept that I actually do have the right to choose for myself. I will no longer make myself small simply to make others happy. I should no longer feel the need to grieve lost relations anymore because if they were interested in having a healthy family relationship, they would've acted like they claimed to be. And when I find more old messages that trigger my emotions - I'll just do like I did before, because I don't need to hold on to any of it anymore - just breathe and hit delete.

I don't usually give myself enough credit over personal growth stuff, but I'm really proud of how far I've come these past ten years.😊

#ptsd #CPTSD #personalgrowth #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors

14 months gone from the Narc. 4 months no contact, but the emotional scars won’t seem to heal. His actions continue to hurt me emotionally mentally financially and I feel I am in a downward spiral. The littlest thing tears my heart apart. I don’t know why I am still grieving. Will he ever stop hurting me. I left it all. My home, my friends, my family, my job, the money, just to escape the abuse. I live in despicable environment while he flourishes in our clinic and our home and takes his 20 year old staff members to the beach for a week. I can’t seem to pick myself up anymore. I can’t see the light. I only see he ruined my life.

YES.

Narcissists tell on themselves all the time.

If you listen closely.

All the things they tell you during lovebombing, all the things they promise you they won't ever do to you, and all the promises they make about the future.

Are the EXACT opposite of what's going to happen.

All the things they judge people for, and all the things they tell you that people have done to them, all the behavior they tell you their exes are guilty of.

Are the EXACT things, that they themselves do.

All the little “warnings” they give you, that refer to dealing with them, such as “My ex did this n that, I dumped them, without an ounce of remorse”, “It takes a lot for me to start loving anyone”, or “I can be ruthless and mean, if you cross me”.

No matter what sentence follows those statements, like “But I would never do that to you”, or “But with you it feels different”, understand that those are true assertions about themselves. They count for any relationship, with anyone.

Yes, narcissists tell you everything about themselves,

They just do it in reverse.

(Source: www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-tell-on-themselves-if-you-listen)

#narcissists #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor #Abuse #EmotionalAbuse #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #DomesticAbuse #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #DomesticViolence #ChildhoodAbuse

My dad has gaslit me today and claimed my I heritance wasn't mine after all... I feel empty but also completely anxious and overwhelmed.

The story isn't important. But the way I feel is significant. Everytime he lies to me and tells me what I recalled him saying is actually wrong and never happened I feel like an idiot. I feel like I'm over reacting. And I cry and act like how I cried as a child. I hyper ventilate and I spiral.

Does anyone have any tips or ways of dealing with parents who gaslight you? I think the fact it is over money is even worse as I'm not very money orientated. I just wanted to truth. But instead got lied to and told my version of events was completely wrong. It spins me out.

#Family #gaslight #Parents #Anxiety #overwhelmed

I wish I could say things had got better, but they’ve gotten worse. We aren’t on talking terms (despite my numerous attempts), and I’ve had my eyes opened to the fact that he’s never once asked how I was and that his parents are more invested in me than he is.

I’ve got to live with this dude. I wish I was joking. At the time it didn’t seem like a bad idea, but with the way he’s treated me after the breakup I don’t see it as something that’s mentally going to do me any favours. I’m going to see him next week and may use it as an opportunity to confront him. My friend says he’ll just gaslight me though, so I’m not sure.

I don’t know if it’s the stress, but I’ve gone through a flare up with postnasal drip and dysgeusia (the latter being as a result of long COVID). It’s horrible. Everything tastes of petrol, and I’m constantly having stuff run down my throat. Also had a bad attack of pain the other day where voltarol didn’t want to work.

In other news, I’ve started packing for my move and have registered at a new GP surgery. There was a lot to fill in in the form and I forgot some stuff so I had to call and then email them with the stuff I missed. I’m concerned about my prescriptions, I hope they’ll just transfer over.

#longcovid #COVID19 #mentalabuse #gaslight #moving #Stress #breakup #dread #Anxiety #Pain #ChronicPain #relocating