A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Major Depression. As I’ve been in therapy with my psychiatrist, he diagnosed me with ADHD. He said I have a mild form that why it wasn’t detected when I was younger. After taking my ADHD med, things improved dramatically. I became motivated and wanted to accomplish things again just like before I had depression. I am an architect in training and recently, just got my first commission to design my cousin’s apartment. I was so excited to work on this project. However, things didn’t go as planned. We spent over a month to develop a plan of this apartment. My client changes things the entire time. This slows down the design process. My client, who is a hotheaded person, exploded over my disagreement on little things and the fact that he doesn’t understand the meeting between me and the engineer because we were talking about construction details. After the engineer had left, he accused me of not taking any note which I did one my phone the entire time. So I told him with my normal voice that I was taking notes notes the entire time on my phone and showed him my phone. He yelled really loud why do I have to argue with him in the office our family business, swore at me, and fired me saying that he would find someone else and walked away. His mom(my aunt) later walked saw me crying without having any clue of what was going on. While she was trying to calm me down, my cousin walked back and apologized. He said “I’m sorry but you had to understand that I don’t like when people disagreeing with me.” My thought was like “No I don’t understand why you have to yell and swear at me”. He assumes that I would work for him after he already fired me. Ahhh, he didn’t ask me to work for him again. He kept asking me to talk about other details of the house. So I talked to him but I’m still considering of not working for him anymore because I don’t deserve this kind of treatment from anyone. Since I’d had depression, I’ve been walking away from all my fear and that made me face up on many things in life. Though I’ve never been mad or wished death upon him, I have to admit his action had affected me mentally. I felt anxious and scared when I started sitting in front of the computer. But yesterday after thinking through, I will continue working on this project. Not for him or my aunt, but for myself . I want to deal with my fear not walk away from it again. I want to get up everyday and be proud of myself that I don’t let my fear conquer me. I won’t give up until my psychiatrist says no when he detects that my depression relapsed.
#ADHD #Depression #Fear #bravery