breakdown

Hello does anyone have any advise for the times it feels you can't get a grip on anything anymore and it's all overwhelming? Relationship with parents is strained and left home nearly a decade ago because one of them is verbally aggressive, narcissistic, threatens us and everyone, has visions and has ideas of having powers ...it's saddening and embarassing to express but the other is now ill and a recent month (just over) trip was heartbreaking but I also received alot of emotional resentment, hurtful and strong words that I remember alot it took me back to the time that I was there, it seems impossible to rationalize with them and reconcile, but with the current strain they need support but I'm struggling to get myself together after the short time with them.
I struggle to make things work or get usual life milestones achieved and whilst I'm seen by others as sort of successful in some ways I feel like a failure at life.
Whilst my emotions are sometimes recognized by others it is sometimes dismissed and overall the feeling of being overwhelmed makes like ending life seem the only escape or relief ...to some it may seem so juvenile but just getting through a day suppressing negative thoughts and fighting back tears just feels exhaustive...life seems full of pain and I don't even feel worth the effort even if it is irrational...anyone feels the same ?and how do they get through this #Trauma #relationship #Suicide #MentalHealth #Anxiety

° " So On Saturday It Was Very Hot In The Restaurant... And I Ended Up Having My Second Heat Exhaustion... My Boss And Some Of My New Co-worker's Were Making Fun Of Me And Being Childish... Idk How A Grown 50+ Year Old Woman Can Act Like This... And The New People Are Young But.. They Have Started To Complain About Working And Not Getting Break's... And Somehow I'm The One That Has Been Complaining Alot.. I Have Only Said About One Issue... Even Though Thier Are A Ton Of Issue's.. The Way This Restaurant Is Being Run.. Is A Distasteful... And Favoritism Basically Run's Amuck.. I Get Bullied At Anytime... I Stick Up For Myself Etc.. But I Still Get Blamed For Other People's Mistake's... This World Need's To Change "STOP THE BULLYING IT NOT RIGHT OR FAIR"... And Now I've Gotten My Hour's Cut???16.50 Hour's Of Work.. I'm Only Working For 3 Day's... If They Are Looking To Fire Me.. Without Any Reason... That's On Them.. I'm A Good Hard Worker.. " ° Sincerely, ¤▪︎▪︎▪︎SKAOI KVITRAVN ▪︎▪︎▪︎¤ #Bullying #Discrimination #racisim #Depression

I’m really reaching out for help Iv tried with other people and I can not place what’s happening to me. I was in mental hospital a few months ago and was told to come off of my lithium which I was put on 3 years ago when I had my son and was sectioned. Iv always had a bpd diagnosis. Apparently I don’t have bipolar anymore so I came off lithium from 1000 down by 200 every week side effects was horrible being sick etc..been off lithium for nearly 4 weeks I’m hallucinating the last couple of weeks and it has been getting worse I’m under my crisis team and waiting to see a dr on Tuesday. I’m not convinced I don’t have bipolar as when you can come off lithium it can cause another man I episode. What I’m struggling with are my hallucinations I’m hearing things and looking at objects and they are coming to life especially my kids teddies that are saying evil things to me but in my voice..are these hallucinations or are these me just having a vivid imagination? I’m confused with if they are hallucinations and I wondered if anyone could help please as I’m going out of my mind. I’m having to wait for the crisis team then when they leave take clorazepam to make me sleep as I can’t be in my head at the moment. I tried colouring yesterday which I was able to do for a while but then the objects Jist turned into evil faces. #hallucinate #Hallucinations #Bipolar #BPD

They say if you love them, let them go. And like most things, it’s easier said than done.

My boyfriend broke up with me today. Completely out of the blue. I had seen him yesterday and everything was going great, we had even made plans for another date. And then he sends a long message today which the TLDR of was that he wanted to break up.

The best part was this paragraph was sent after I had just had my hearing test and was told I had hearing loss. I told him that news and an hour later he breaks up with me.

The rest of the day has just consisted of breakdown after breakdown. Now I’m just drained of energy, both physically and emotionally.

I was already thinking about getting therapy when I move. I think I might have to get it sooner.

#breakup #HearingLoss #Breakdowns #breakdown #EmotionallyExhausted #exhausted #BadNews #done

Today has been a really bad fucking day. I got woken up by my new puppy at 5 am, cleaned after her, threw up, then I overslept for work and missed a meeting. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin.

I keep going out with the puppy and she still pees and poops at home and I just broke down. When she wants to play she bites me and she doesn’t listen – obviously because she’s a puppy.

And I just miss my Bella. So now I’m having breakdown and I can’t stop crying and I cried outside and I’m so angry all the time and I hate being me so much.

I just really don’t want to exist. I don’t want to wake up and be in the office the entire day and I don’t want to be all alone during the weekend and then do the whole fucking week again.

#breakdown

I'm in so much pain, I feel like I can't go on but I can't have this breakdown that I think I need because I have to stay afloat for everyone. I feel like I'm alone because I can't share with my family or friends. I'm lost and I just want to find myself before I'm too far gone. I don't want to leave my daughter but I think she would be better off without me, I don't feel like I'm a good example for her, I don't want her to grow up and be like me. I want better for her, I don't want her to look up to me.
#breakdown