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Got no one

I hate where I live I hate my mental disability I feel so so low so so alone so down 24 7, im in so much mental pain. So much sadness. I have partner who says things like I embrace the sadness, I like being sad etc etc I want to leave but I can’t, I have no funds nor job no mental ability to do that. My family only help me and support me when they aren’t busy to talk but no of them help me properly in running away from my life of pain. I think I complain to much to people maybe. I feel so sad all the time. I’m waiting on new meds from the doctors and counciling but doubt it will cure it because it’s been 20 years from 13-33 years old. I wish I wasn’t alive but too sad to end the pain. Someone help me ;-( I feel so alone in this sadness I can’t cope with anything and just want to be loved and someone’s special person I just want to be happy and not so low all the time even when I appear happy. #depressed #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder ?? #sensitive #HSP #Caregiving #mood

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Are you a highly sensitive person? Then this post is for you!

It’s not wrong to be sensitive; the world needs more of your softness.~ The Latest Kate #HighlysensitivePerson #sensitive

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Anyone wish they were less emotional?

I love being an empathetic person and a highly sensitive person but sometimes the way society can judge us
As being too sensitive or weak
Is hard
We are strong in our own way, sometimes it’s tough though if I really need to cry I do

But I guess at times I kind of envy people who can seem more cold or stoic/ so called “stronger”

I wouldn’t change how I am but at times can be draining or feel like a gift and a curse. But I know just learning to cope with it better is best

#Emotions #emotional #hard #lovemyself #sensitive #Shame #Trying #HSP #Curious #personalities #interested #dontknow #easierbetter #Anxiety #Depression

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It’s hard.

For the last few weeks, what’s been on my mind is extending forgiveness. It’s not that I don’t have the ability to forgive my stepparent or that I don’t want to, it’s just that right now I don’t have any forgiveness to give. I read a short article about those who shame and or blame others to forgive and it made a lot of sense. Some people really think that it should be given almost instantly as if you weren’t hurt. And rushing into forgiveness when you’re not ready to do so can be damaging. I do realize now that over the years, more was/is expected of me when it comes tho things like this, especially from my mother. It’s stemmed from her comparing her life to mine. And being the eldest daughter added pressure for me because even though I have my own mind and I can be stubborn and strong willed, it often feels like that part of me just isn’t allowed. Trying to use my voice growing up was always silenced, even if I had a reason to speak up, which was so confusing. She told me to always told to speak up for myself, but when it comes to her, I’m either questioned or shut down for being too sensitive to what is said to me. I’ve been told that I’ve been “too sensitive” my whole life from people who are just as emotional as I am, but I’m the one in the wrong. I’m not seeking out to be right in my battles, I’m just trying to find the right ways to go about it because my personality is both praised and criticized by the ones who never corrected their trauma. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Forgiveness #HighlysensitivePerson #sensitive #Trauma

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Welcome, y’all! Fellow horse (any animals, really) lovers, come one and all! #horsesrmagic

I created this group for every fellow horse lover, as the horse world is rough, especially if you’re dealing with any kind of mental and/or physical health issues. This includes everything from #Depression , #Drug Abuse, #Anxiety Disorders, #body Image Issues, #relationship Issues, or just #animal Lover (and the struggle that comes with being a #sensitive , #Feeling & #caring person for them), etc.

All animal welfare topics are welcomed, but the point of this group is specifically meant to be geared to equestrians and horses.

If you’re an #Equestrian , or an aspiring/working one, we know the challenges that can stand in the way of this. Therefore, let’s chat about it. We can unite and meet our goals! #Horses ARE magic!

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The "daymare" I am living within.

This is a place where we can share our #Thoughts and our #feelings to one another. I have been #Trying hard to make things right with my life, and I know that it is difficult. I think a lot of us in this world feel a bit #lost right now. It is understandable because of what is happening in #ukraine and #russia at the moment. It is also #difficult to deal with #MentalHealth at the same time when you have a #MentalIllness that does not ever take a break. #Medicine can only take you so far in this world to make things #stabilized in the mind.

When #stressful situations occur, it is more difficult for those who have mental health conditions to handle than that of someone who does not have it. It is because we are already battling a mental war trying to use our #Therapy skills to apply to the #behavioral aspect of things while the medication helps take care of the #Neurological aspect of things. However, on the right kind of #Medication we are able to handle things a lot better. Of course we will always have some kind of #Sadness in our lives, as it is not the #Goal of medication to make us #robotic . However, the medicine we take does help to ease the existing conditions we already have so that we are less #sensitive to the #Extremes we would feel without the medicine.

I have #BipolarDisorder so this is something that is already a #Battle since I was about 16 years old. Sometimes all I can do is put on some lipstick and handle it the best way that I can, even if that means I need to take a few extra #Naps in the day. Whenever you are faced with #extreme amounts of #Stress things are not going to be easy for you. That is #normal . I just #wish that life were a lot #easier to handle though for those of us who have pre-existing mental health conditions that create more conflict and blow up the #emotional responses.

So - If you are #Reading this, please #DistractMe and give me something to think about other than my Dad's liver #Cancer

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Accomidations in chaos

Accomidations in this chaos are few and far in between. I don't participate in any extra #chaos . Our home is one with a variety of thins already going on on a daily bases.... people struggling.
We are a home it a fully disabled Army combat wounded veteran with the inability to work. So, you're talking... #intervert , #PTSD , extra #Depression because he is still able to work in his mind and told he can't, #TraumaticBrainInjury , #PhysicalMedium , #SleepApnea , #closterphobic (in certain situations), #HearingLoss ... and what other #Undiagnosed issues he had prior.. besides #temperment . To add to it... the oldest (teenager) in our home also has a variety of issues...#ADHD , #Merld , #GAD , #undiagnosedasd , #odd , #RaynoldsSyndrome , #mildDyslexia , #boarderlineBiploar ... #sensitive #empath
Next, a seven year old. He is Super tall for his age and has tons of #growthspurts along with everything else. He is a #SensitiveEmpath with #PTSD and signs of #SPD (#SensoryProcessingDisorder ). He may also have #auditoryprocessing issues. He receives #OT , #St , and #SociaWork services.
Next is a smart, stubborn, five year old; and a smart, overly active three year old. You are lucky if they keep their shoes on most the time anywhere. 💯🤪🤣
With all the professional knowledge from my college years (associates degree) and learning from friends I have in the higher up professions of environmental control, Industrial Hygene, constitutional attorney... it also makes me not want to play along with all the chaos that occurs in our current world, let alone make my kids participate.
Healthcare facilities are being able to break all laws, oaths, and rules they want currently because the ADA is doing nothing just as OSHA has been doing. Instead of helping prevent illness, they are spreading it more. They refused my 7yo this summer from a tick bite, instead of looking at his hip to see it if was #LymeDisease that required antibiotics. Then, I had to fight with them at ER showing my wide knowledge to get my child help.. stressing us out in the process. He was so #anxious the was tightly gripped on my arm as we wanted the room to get seen. He needed #antibiotics .
Recently, my husband whom had a #spinesurgery last year was to be seen by his primary #NP . She refused a virtual appointment, and refused to see him in person without a mask 😷. He knows masks at these levels don't work for virual (#mocksuits #biochemicalsuits ), gets #clisterphobic , aren't going by #FederalPPEGuidlines , and already is having issues breathing (#musclespasms around his esophagus and #lockjaw ). He asked if they ever tried breathing through a pillow because it is how he will feel with a mask on if he here to wear one. (Plus. Some of those are put together in dirt.. and dipped in chemicals.) My husband was terminated of their care and not allowed to come back to #Bronson . When he got looking at our chart information... our WHOLE family was #terminatedofcare from #BronsonHealthSystem .

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'Tis the beginning of the season

The season is changing. Things are becoming more overwhelming. Things are beginning to start to darken more & more with lack of sunlight. The leaves are changing colors. Even though it looks like a abstract rainbow 🌈, it is the beginning of my fight to function. My fight to stay motivated & awake.
I struggle with #SeasonalDepression in the fall to winter season, as if I'm a bear going into hibernation. The issue? I have 4 #sensitive #empath boys. Two #HighlySensitive compared to the other two. All in the home with me & my combat veteran husband. So, Things can already be a bit challenging with my high spirited crew... then, you sprinkle on #SeasonalDepression issues and it doesn't help anything at all, it makes even more challenges.
I get cold easily and I have growing lights in the most frequented areas of the house. It helps some, I guess. But, the kids are all about #outsidelife #nomattertheweather and always want me to follow them in the fun. When I was a little one... that was okay. I have never been to thrilled, though, of the cold weather, but would play. As I have gotten older, this #SeasonalDepression affect has taken a hold of me more, and more as sneaky as a mink in the night. I don't go anywhere, unless is is really needed. We try to live off our land, so... more & more... there is NO need to go out in the cold.
Somedays, I feel like all the energy is completely drained from me, as if #energyvampire just attacked and drained the life from me. Those days, I just want to sleep. The hardest thing to fight, when you have littles depending on you. So, you #makecoffeeinhopesithelps & push through all the fog and muddy bog of the day. Even if it turns out to be a pleasant day, you are left wondering why you can't seem to fully be filled with happiness you'RE supposed to be feeling in that moment. It surely is #NOTalackofloveoforcarringabout anyone involved in that happy/great day that occurred. It is almost as if one is being #robbedoftheenjoymentoccuring and I have #neverknownhowtofix this issue.
Before my husband, I was left #Feelingbroken #wonderingifIcouldeverbelovedforme #flawsandall . #IfIcouldeverbeunderstood instead of #ridiculedandcutdown or #castasideandlostinacrowd . I'm still #unsuremyhusbandunderstands as often he thinks I am a #unsolvablemystery , which is #goodandbad . Bad because I long for him to #acceptandunderstandasmybestiedoes (16 year bestie) & good, because it can keep things a bit exciting still after #9yearstogether ... as long as he is still up for it.
We are have been doing #Marriage365 . We are using a #lovenudgeapp .. or at least I am. It incorporates #the5lovelanguages which can be #helpfulunderstanding how someone else operates.
I try to go do photoshoots with my long time photographer friend who has her share of struggles too. We did a Witchy shoot last month that was dressing up, pretending & a fun 2 hour break. Sunday's a family friendly Halloween Massacre.
#IGY6 ; #someoneunderstands #fight 🔀

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Sometimes when i talk to people in DM. When they ask questions like. "So what do you". And when i answer not working at the moment. I sometimes feel like people can be #judgmental . Or you feel like you need to explain your reasons and they don't understand. Then you get so #sensitive on the subject. I think the user was right. I think we all our dealing with our own struggles and living in different situations I sometimes feel like it's hard for being to understand that.

All i know is I have been working on my situation/mistake

# I've been working on my mental health. I'm working on things,#Depression #Anxiety #Christianity

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#emotional #moodswings #sensitive #Depression #anger #Sadness #Fibromyalgia #MoodDisorders #Bipolar #flare #ChronicPain

Olay, so diagnosed with fibro in july, I got put on a mood stabilizer, its helped A LOT, and so has therapy, but everytime I have a flare, my emotions are just raw and vulnerable. I'm easily irritated, angered, and quick to be sensitive and cry.... idk, coming to terms with the pain has been quicker to accept than the emotional side of it all for me. Is anyone else like this? I'm seeking out a neurologist vs a rheumatologist because I'm in mostly technically epilepsy meds besides the celebrex and flexiril. I hate the gabapentin so I dont really take it. My psychiatrist thought it was a wonderful idea. My therapist is amazing, and I'll admit, parts of this are probably weather related, situational, and mostly because I've blown off some therapy...we all tend to do that when we're feeling better.... any ideas on how to control your moods/sensitivity/emotions better? I'm just getting back to working full time, and I'm honestly when I'm not flaring, really proud. Other days, I apologize because I'm the weak link. Love, joy, and most of all peace to you all.

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