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The beetle in the box #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Having one of those times when I’m positively reinforcing the person I am. I still struggle keeping my shield up when another tells me I’m the same person making the same mistakes I was years ago. I wish they didn’t use bpd as a point of contention. No one is their diagnosis. I regret having to justify myself, knowing everyone has the right to their own truth.
Feedback from someone who can relate would be appreciated. I’m glad this community exists. #HugsNeeded #ReachingOutNotFreakingOut


I’m grieving for the loss of the old me today. #CheckInWithMe #Grief #Sadness #Upset #Depression #HugsNeeded

I’m grieving for the loss of me. From the grief from not being who I used to be, having to give up all the hard work I have done to fight through each operation that all goes down the drain. When I learn to walk and finally get that independence back I’ve worked so hard for that gets taken away in that second where he cuts those muscles again. Grief from not being who I wanted to be by now, not achieving what I really wanted to by now because of things that have prevented me. Grief from not being young and not having to make such tough decisions that I do now. Grief from the runner I was in primary school. The infant that didn’t have to suffer from pain. Grief from not having any memory about what not having any pain felt like. Grief from all the work shifts I’ve missed. Grief from not saying goodbye to my college teachers I didn’t know were leaving, as I saw them one final time, but never knew they were leaving. And when I found out, I was in hospital and it was the last day of term, so I knew I couldn’t do anything or say goodbye. Grief from operations failing over and over and not knowing why.


#Anxiety #Depression #Psoriasis #PsoriaticArthritis #CMT

I am struggling today. Physically, i am doing pretty well. My psoriasis is doing fantastic on my new biologic. Mentally though...I just want to scream. I no longer work and I have not filed for disability. I am caught somewhere in between. I am no longer a dependable employee, I have several chronic conditions each one causing fatigue and some level of physical pain and I can still get up and do things 50-75% of the time. Shouldn’t I be able to work? My family encouraged me to file for disability and then when I stopped trying to work they were irritated (at least) when I was not at their beckon call to do physical work 8-10 hours a day. I need emotional support. I feel like i am never enough! For me, for my husband, for my extended family. #CharcotMarieToothDisease #HugsNeeded #Depression

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Define happy? What is happiness to you? I know how to smile, laugh and enjoy people but is that being happy?? Do you know what I know more? The thing that has been my best friend for as long as I can remember? Depression. I know sadness like it’s my favourite song. I know crying til I sleep. I know the ache in my heart and the matching one in my head. I know loneliness. I know for the most part, id rather be alone. But why? Because life and people terrify me. Life, because let’s be honest, it can be pretty hard going sometimes.. And people, oh.. People.. They know how to break you, destroy you.. They use you, abuse you.. I’m not entirely sure what my point was now but, sigh.. I just want to be “HAPPY”
#Depression #Anxiety #Loneliness #Sadness #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #tired #Broken #SocialAnxiety #HugsNeeded