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Me:0...con crud:2

I woke up at stupid o clock again. This time it was 3am. I can't breathe and my sinuses are full and I'm really dizzy. It's not COVID but it's definitely not fuñ. I messaged my doctor for the same meds I got last year when I came home from con. I should get it by Tuesday. In the meantime flutter gave me NyQuil. It's 4am and I gotta get up at 7am.

This is the last night with my girlfriend and I'm too sick to cuddle but she's sick too. I probably got it from her. And she got it from her boyfriend. Sharing is caring?

#sick #concrud #Relationships

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Bad Decisions

There are times where I feel like I make some really #baddecisions and it becomes a major #challenge for me to handle #BipolarDisorder symptoms. I thought about how things have been, and how I have struggled.

My husband has been supportive of me since 2009, but when he said the other day that he felt more like a #Caregiver than a husband, I felt #sick inside. I became very #emotional and wondered why I could not shake the feelings off. I felt hurt, because through sickness and #Health we are supposed to be a support for one another.

Lately I have reached a peak of my sexuality, and my husband is disinterested. I have thought about finding a #Boyfriend or a #Girlfriend to spend intimate time with. I felt terrible about it. My husband told me that it was OK to do it, as long as he didn't know about it and not bring them to my home.

It made me wonder... Does he even really care? Or does he care so much about my feelings that he would rather me be #satisfied than #deprived ? I do not know.

What are your #Thoughts about this one?

#Bipolar #MentalHealth #feelingconfused #Anxiety #Depression #INeedAnswers

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It aches so bad

It all aches so bad. I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm suffocating in my own emotions. I'm sick of everything. Grieving, pretending to be someone I'm not because my family doesn't accept me. I feel like none of my family even notices me half the time. I should be used to being useless. I'm sick mentally and physically and everyone just says I'm lazy...I'm alone....I'm even smoking again

#Depression #Selfharm #Anxiety #MentalHealth #sick

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Overwhelmed

Hi everyone. You all gave me such wonderful replies the last time I posted but it took me forever to respond to them. In case you all didn’t see them, I wanted to say a huge thank you right here.

I am still struggling and one thing that’s made everything even more difficult than it has been already is that I havent had my bipolar medication since early November. The last time I got it I had a bad reaction and had to go to the ER, and discovered later that the manufacturer of the medication was different than the one Ive always had. It’s been a nightmare trying to get the meds again because none of the local pharmacies has had it in stock or if they did, it was from the manufacturer that made the one I reacted to. My doctor wanted to try something different and I will be able to pick it up tomorrow, but I can’t say Im looking forward to it. Only because it’s a new drug and usually I either have bad side effects or an allergic reaction to the newer meds. 🙁

I hate feeling so negative about this, but honestly I’m worn down to a nub and feel like I can’t take anymore. I had the flu in December and seemed to get better, but now its hitting me again and Im wondering if it might be covid. Im going to get tested to be sure, but damn Im tired! I also have no heat and one of my cats is sick, and it’s going to be awhile until I can get the money for either of those things.
All of this on top of the usual stuff (depression, grief, chronic pain, chronic fatigue) is just making me feel like Im going to fall apart. The sad thing is that Im alone too and I wish I had people around to “catch” me, but I dont.

Sigh!!!

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I guess I just wanted to get it out of my head and not feel so alone with these problems. Please keep me and my lil guy in your prayers. I/we can definitely use them!!

#Grief #Depression #Medication #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #ADD #sick

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Hugs today, missing the party 🥂🍾

I'm sick on New year's Eve. I'll be fine but saw this picture and thought: I'm not alone or the only one going through it. #NewYearsEve #sick #HashimotosThyroiditis

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Do You Have Experience?

#joblife can be a nightmare when trying to find the right one. Unfortunately, many jobs exist that do not exist in the first place. I have applied for jobs recently, which I have not heard back from.

I also applied for jobs that I have been interviewed for and was told that they wanted to hire me and that I was the best candidate... but then later told that they found someone with a more robust skillset.

Just today - I received a message on Indeed that offered me to come in for an interview! YAY! Exciting right? Then, I was told they sent it to me by mistake and that I was not selected for a job interview. How can you make such a tragic mistake to someone desperately looking for quality work?

I applied for retail jobs and was told I needed to give full availability, but they do not guarantee hours. That means I would need to have several retail jobs to juggle to maintain consistent income, but that means they also want full availability.

I believe many things must be said about this. I reach out to any of you who are #Jobhunting or #struggling to make sense of things.

Are you #depressed ?

Are you #tired ?

Are you #sick of it?

Are you #Trying ?

Do not give up.#sharewithme your story.#Depression #BipolarDisorder #ADHD #Anxiety #MentalHealth #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder

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💔 Starting your day off in excruciating pain every day is by far like a forever punishment. Damn near impossible to ever get anything done. Beyond sick & tired of it to be quite honest. Life shouldn’t have to be this debilitating 🥺 #ChronicPain #MajorDepression #sick &Tired

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Live a Little

Hello Everyone.
It has been a while since I was last here. I used to post regularly, but things got caught up. My father passed away last year in #2022 and it was not fun. I was very #sad and did not know what to do. #Grief is never anyone's friend. Sometimes you have to live a little and let go a bit. Tonight I was #Thinking about #Life and all of the #wonderful things that exist. I also think about all the #horrible things that have occured.

I have been #focused on the wrong things lately. Especially with a recent #Diagnosis of #ADHD and how my #Brain never shuts up.

I wondered if I was insane sometimes. I have been #sick a lot the past month and even now. It feels like every other week I am sick with something (virus, stomach problem or a cold). I think I am #okay though. I am going to #KeepMoving forward.

How are you all doing?
#CheckInWithMe

#Depression
#BipolarDisorder
#PanicDisorder
#Agoraphobia
#Trying
#strong
#Anxiety

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