sleep deprivation

Hi! Cecilia, I'm new to the group 😊

I struggle with nightmares and several awakes during the night, also usually having a hard time falling asleep (and falling asleep again).
It's been some years I've been struggling with severe thirst (some sort of dehydration, but the causes are still unknown) which worsen the nightmares and makes it more difficult for me to sleep for a decent amount of time and/or sleep it well.

There's also my last post on my profile explaing parts of this: didn't want to copy it and paste it ~

To anyone willing to talk and share, I'm here!

#SleepDeprivation #Insomnia #poorsleep #badconcentration #Nightmares #dreams #Sleep #thirst #Fear #Paranoia #Awake

When I was a child, I've always had troubles falling asleep. Because my mind was fully awake, when very young, but then mostly because of stuff I was deadly afraid of. When I managed to, I had very vivid nightmares and used to wake up a lot during the night, having troubles falling asleep again.

Each time I got in bed, I started trying not to fall asleep, because bad things would have occured if I wasn't there awake and aware, in order to acknowledge anything that was happening in the house.

I now fall asleep more easily, but I remember having only one nice dream; each night I have at least one nightmare, usually up to many more.

The nightmares are generally about threats or issues I should escape safe from or disturbing stuff in general. They're very long and articulated, implying plots and including a lot of details.

When I wake up, if my attention isn't suddenly drawn to something else, the dreams usually follow me during the day and it takes a big part of it for them and their effects to vanish away.

If there's anyone interested in sharing some thoughts about this, I'd be happy to.

It can be very stressful and I haven't slept well in ages. I'd like to find a key to understand this or simply tips to try and see if they could help me.

Anyone who can relate?

#Nightmares #SleepDeprivation #Sleep #sleeppattern #sleepissue #Insomnia #Paranoia #threats #dreams #fallingasleep #thirst #Stress #overthinking #worstcasescenarios #Fear #sleepdisorder #OCD #Anxiety #Obsession #Death #obsessivethoughts

Took the day off so that I wouldn’t be at the store I usually work at during inventory. So, just sitting home today. Glad I am….I slept 13 dang hours last night. I must have really needed the rest. It is crazy how some nights I can’t sleep a wink and then all of a sudden I sleep 13 hours in one night. But….I guess I shouldn’t complain. I definitely feel a bit better today. #Sarcoidosis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Insomnia #ChronicDepression #Anxiety

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder in 2019, and today, after 1.5 months at a treatment facility, not only was I bumped up to bipolar 1, I was given a new diagnosis of having borderline personality disorder.

I wasn't surprised about bipolar 1, but the BPD has put me in a tailspin. The more I've read and learned about BPD the more I am CERTAIN that I suffer from both disorders. From a logical standpoint, I am "on board" with these diagnoses as I can check off nearly every box on the giant lists of symptoms. Add in the ADHD and I am... a hot mess of a person.

I'm now questioning my own thoughts and feelings - are they valid and true or are they some sort of warped reality that I'm living in... some imagined fantasy life. Have all of my life experiences with people been lies, bull$hit and untruth/fantasy? Have I lived a fake but utterly destructive life up to this point? Am I living it currently?

Using logic, I understand who I am. But emotionally I don't know who I am anymore, and fear that my entire life has been filled with beliefs and destructive behaviors that *I created - every awful thing has been solely because of who I am.

I'm having a really tough time with all of this. I feel like I'm a tornado of a person who destroys everything in sight... I don't know how to move forward.

I'm worried I might have to once again leave my daughter at home without her Mom-Mom because I'll need to go back to the treatment facility. I'm becoming crippled with anxiety, paranoia, depression and shame.

ANY advice or insight will be received with wide open arms and a grateful heart. Thank you for taking the time to read - it's been a long time since I've been on The Mighty and I'm so glad to be back ❤️

#BPDDiagnosis #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #ADHD #Broken #help #Anxiety #SleepDeprivation #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Shame #Spiraling #lost #Depression

Let’s just start with a disclaimer, do not try this at home as not sleeping is extremely dangerous and I would not recommend it to anyone - friend or foe.

I never intended not to sleep for a week, but as I later found out have Bipolar Disorder.

In simplistic terms, Bipolar is known for its extreme mood swings that can range from really dark low depressive episodes to manic highs. Both phases come with their own sets of debilitating symptoms, but for each individual who lives with Bipolar their experience will be completely different.

I know that for me, I never experienced any depression. For almost two years I lived through mania and even my mental health team could not believe at how poorly I had become. Not to mention my family and friends.

Throughout this time period I had a constant decreased need for sleep and was spending obscene amounts of money online. Every day numbers of parcels would arrive at my door and in the end I could not keep up with the constant stream of returns needed to keep my bank account afloat. That’s without mentioning the fact that my room would just be full of unopened parcels sometimes as I was losing track of what I was ordering as it was mostly crap that I didn’t want or need to put it bluntly.

So I’ve mentioned the decreased need for sleep that came with the mania I experienced in these two years leading up-to this week of complete insanity, and insomnia I can live with or I have learned to live with you might say, but not sleeping a wink is a total different kettle of fish.

About a week before the last time I got hospitalised (for the fourth time in eighteen months) I stopped sleeping altogether. I stopped eating too, not intentionally - I just wasn’t hungry.

I was already really poorly by this point, but this just was the tip of the iceberg and I simply deteriorated from there on out. I started hallucinating so vividly in the brightest of colours. My psychosis ran worsened day by day sometimes hour by hour. I was living in cuckoo land and despite my crazy, absurd hallucinations everything still seemed so real to me at the time. I can see now that I was living in the madness.

At first I felt in total control. I thought it was part of my mission and that my hallucinations were part of a new feature or something, a bit like a spy. But most importantly, I thought I could manage it. But no one can manage psychosis without backup. Without outside help, and that usually includes lots of sleep, good food, medication and an outside environment. That was what I needed at the time because my psychosis was within the four walls of my house and so I needed to escape that environment. It has gotten to the point on the night before I was sectioned where I was seeing messages in the sky and the bricks of my house were closing in on me. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time.

I can see why people who live with Bipolar don’t want to seek treatment as mania is totally euphoric but the thing is it impacts on every aspect of your life. I lost my job and my home because of this stuff and have lost many friends along the way due to lack of understanding. Now I am well I have got many things back but there are certain things I don’t want back because if people don’t want me at my worst then they don’t deserve me at mr best, and it’s as simple as that.

My parents could see I was unwell and they were already on it and were calling for reinforcements but it’s not always as simple as that with the NHS, because truth be told I had been crying out for help in a certain sort of way for a lot longer before it had come to this.

I could see holograms and orbs for days in the hospital even though I had been medicated, which just shows the power of sleep deprivation and what it can do to brain and thought.

I understand why my hallucinations were there as I don’t think they are totally random. I think mine come from deep within my brain, like TV shows I had watched and recent news pieces I had read and just general thoughts and fears
I had. That’s what I mean, imagine all of what’s inside your brain totally spluttered out into hallucinations and verbal diahharea and that’s what I went through for two years. And then the sleep deprivation just exacerbated that tenfold.

I’m hoping that by talking about what I went through that this could help just one person. To me now this is just a memory and one that I hope I will never have to go through again as I am still recovering from it now. But with the right medication and treatment then I should be well on my way. #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #Sleep #SleepDeprivation #order #Anxiety #MentalHealth