confidence

I have taken my English MTTC (teacher cert test) 4 times now, and have come so close to passing all 4 times but have not yet. My score this time was lower than my previous one. I am trying to remain positive but my negative thoughts sometimes spiral me down into a pit of self-doubt. Any tips for working on self-confidence? I feel with a little more confidence I can pass this test a little easier.

#Anxiety #Confidence #Depression

I’ve had an eating disorder and body image issues since as long as I can remember. I’ve been fat, average size and really quite small but always thinking that I am fat and gross. I am now fat again and still feel disgusting. But that’s the problem. Fat doesn’t equal disgust because if it did I would have felt beautiful when smaller and I didn’t. It’s all a load of bollocks.
So, I’m determined to work on feeling beautiful and not losing weight or getting fit. Everyone around me ultimately thinks that you must be fit and healthy to love yourself. They may not outright say that but I hear well enough. People’s bodies have nothing to do with anyone else, but people love to project. I’m sick of it.
I’m not optimistic that the world and society will get any better, in any way possible but, I can for myself. #BodyImage #fat #Selflove #EatingDisorders #Confidence #Autism #EatingDisorderRecovery

.... & her understanding of what self love, self compassion, self confidence & self respect looks like!

Growing up, love wasn't shown the way it "should" be shown amongst family. Amongst a mother & her daughters. Hugs weren't given out once a certain age of daughters was reached. "I love yous" weren't as meaningful as they should sound. Praise wasn't given out when daughters did something amazing.

Mama was battling her own demons & it showed a lot once daughters reached an understanding to life age. Mama didn't show the love, compassion, confidence & respect to herself. So, of course, her daughters weren't taught the proper knowledge for loving themselves.

Now, as the daughters get older & become adults, their vision of self love, self confidence, self worth & self respect are not what they'd like. Looking in mirrors is hard for one. Showering their confidence with positivity is ruined by negative. Over thinking to try & look "good" like others ruins ones love for themselves.

Trying to do better. Boost one's confidence up. Show themselves love. Shower their energy with compassion has been ones goal for a while now. Each day is different than the last. Hoping the next is better. Mirror talk with oneself is a constant battle yet the strength afterwards is extraordinary.

Wanting to boost that respect & confidence higher for their mental health with gym activities has been a goal for some time, but when the negative voices attack the confidence at full speed, they crumble & let the unnecessary win. Mirror "fear" wins. Comparison to others & their strengths wins. Over thinking, over analyzing wins. Anxiety wins the battle.

When one just wants to heal themselves from what was "taught" growing up, yet the strength of that lesson is stronger than what they envisioned.
How does one get out of THIS cycle? How can one boost that confidence higher than the expected? Wanting to fulfill the inner child's love for themselves [past present & future self] is key yet feeling like a failure is keeping the door locked. How can one keep their word to themselves to do better. To stay consistent. To remain committed. When all they know is self sabotage. Self "hate."

Anxiety is ones story while trying to heal is their chapters! Words of positivity try to fulfill those sentences while negativity is the punctuation. Their story of breaking generational cycles is far from over. They WILL prevail & be fueled with confidence love compassion & worth!

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #PTSD #Healing #Therapy #GAD #Insomnia #Selfesteem #GymAnxiety #Confidence

It's been nearly a year since I started using my cane regularly at school. Although I'm now able to use it with out feeling too anxious, that wasn't always the case. I remember when I first got it, it was in the middle of 10th grade. I had finally worked up the courage to take it to school....and I left it in my bag. I didn't even take it out, I was so terrified of someone seeing it.

The summer break before my Junior year, I had MULTIPLE panic attacks just thinking about using it. It was the fact that people would notice me, and would be looking at me. That terrified me, I couldn't handle the thought of being noticed by others, even if for just a second. I already dealt with people looking at me due to my tics, I didn't think I could handle being looked at for another reason on top of that. Nethertheless, I knew I needed to bring it to school, I knew I that the benefits would GREATLY out way the anxieties I had. And so I did, I brought it.

I was so nervous the whole week before school, infact I had a pretty huge breakdown caused by my stress and anxiety. Still, the first day of Junior year I brought my cane. And.....it went suprisingly well. There were a few stares, but they weren't as common as I thought. The few questions I got, were all asked by my teachers. No one was rude, or made me feel embarrassed to use one. By the end of the day, I had realized I had nothing to worry about.

I go to a decent sized school. And there's a handful of students who also use mobility aids. I think that knowing that helped me a bit with my anxiety, and the feeling of feeling alone. Infact, towards the end of my first semester of Junior year, a student who also uses a cane transfered to my school. It turned out that they were my friend from middle school, who ended up moving. We became really good friends, even closer than we would be if we didn't both bond over using mobility aids.

I'm really glad I didn't give into my anxiety, and that I still brought it despite the intense panic I originally felt. It has helped me immensely with dealing with the symptoms I deal with from my FND. Though I still sometimes feel anxious using it, it's nowhere near as bad or constant as it was in the beginning.

I'm writing this to not only share my experience, but to hopefully help someone who wants, or needs to use their mobility aid in a more public setting for the first time, but is scared, to realize that although it can be scary at first. It will be ok. Even if people stare, and make rude comments it will be ok. Your saftey is hundreds of times more important than what others might think of you

#FND #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #FND #Disabled #Mobilityaid #BabeWithAMobilityAid #Confidence #Disabledandproud

I recently joined 'reddit' and posted a comment on a self harm scar. My comment was insensitive and I will not repeat it here. It was the reply that I received which really opened my eyes to my own trauma.

The reply from the "redditor" was "I am sorry you are feeling powerless over your own body". I never thought about it this way. I know one thing for sure. The trauma took something away from me that day. It took my confidence and my care free attitude and left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I want that happy go lucky kid back. The other side of the argument is finally growing up and entering the 'real world'. It could be a combination of both although I consider it was mostly my poor decisions catching up with me.

12 long years have passed since I was assaulted and time has done little to heal the pain. I am just as angry and grief stricken as the day the incident occurred. I was not in control of the situation and maybe this is why I feel the way that I do?

Revenge plays on my mind a lot and I catch myself drifting in and out of seeking vengeance. I have medication which temporarily assists in levelling my emotions and focusing on the here and now.

My mind will play tricks on me from time to time; starting me off on a road of revenge only to lead me to grief and misery. I am of the belief that revenge will do little to heal my pain as the damage has well and truly been done.

#power #powerless #MightyTogether #TheMighty #Friends #foes #Love #hate #betrayal #Depression #ChronicFatigue #PTSD #Pain #suffering #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Scars #Trauma #Revenge #rut #despair #hopelessness #self #Selfesteem #Confidence #Happiness #Hope #pleasure #Healing #Recovery #Addiction #selfmedicate #Hope #Emotion #CPTSD #Grief #Survivor