Ex

Never in my wildest dreams did I think my ex was going to be a crazy ex. He threatened my family and my favorite person in the world. I have never been so hurt by someone. He told me I'm not enough, I am just a stupid little girl (He knows not using my pronouns messes with me because he knows better), he threatened to hurt me, and he cussed me out badly. He said he was going to put a bullet through my favorite person (and many other similar remarks). The cops were called and I am going to talk to the administration at Uni tomorrow. I feel like such a loser. I believed my ex when he said I will never hurt you or threaten you. How could I be so blind? I will never find love I guess.

#Toxic #Depression #Ex #lies

Struggling a bit seems permanent breakup this time with my bf or I guess my ex now. Really sucks so bad I loved them so so much, he did too but I guess we have been getting into the cycle of on and off breakups. This time seems to be final, we are long distance, usually they are somewhat supportive and kind but this time during a bad panic attack he was calling me weak that I need to be strong, crying doesn’t solve anything. There’s people that have less than me and still fake a smile etc, I overreacted too but just sucks. They have really been such a huge part of my life and in a way I have for them too. It’s hard letting go. Please send love and positivity/ prayers my way if you can. Sorry if it’s a silly reason to ask for good vibes my way but just struggling and crying non stop sometimes. Thanks for any help, sucks I try so hard to not be a burden with my anxiety but even then the few times I reach out it’s hard for others who haven’t suffered from it too understand or as an HSP when the world gets too overwhelming and you just break down. #breakup #HSP #sad #Ex

It has been 3 years to the day tomorrow since I broke up with my toxic abusive ex I still can’t believe I wasted so much time with someone so horribly abusive she would scream at me for no reason if I did even the slightest thing she didn’t want me to do she would get angry if I couldn’t get her something or if I couldn’t afford it she would get angry and then generally hit me she even hit me so hard I’m the mouth once she knocked a filling out of my mouth but for me the last straw was she hit me then my neice no more then the age of 3 said why are you hitting my uncle Rob then my ex went to hit her I just reacted and slammed my ex against the wall as hard as I could then I said we are done get the hell out of my house from that moment on I felt a sense of relief she is finally gone the one thing I learned from that horrible relationship was how to see the right one the one you we’re always supposed to be in now 3 years later I’m in the greatest relationship with the best woman in the world a woman I’m so happy to call my fiancé she has helped me heal from so much she truly is a god sent an angel I was lost before my fiancé came into my life now I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it and I can honestly say I found my soulmate

I’m still learning to this day all the effects the abuse I suffered from my ex had on me one for example is I still almost tense up and flinch when a person reaches towards my face since that is where my ex would hit me it’s not even just physical things for example when someone says we need to talk and won’t tell me what’s wrong I start freaking out since for so long my ex would say that start screaming at me then normally hit me but the worst is at night when the memories really start coming to mind some nights I wake up physically shaking and in tears my fiancé is truly the sweetest she comforts me when ever that happens and reassuring me I’m safe and she will never let her hurt me again I was wondering is there anything else I can do to get through this

I just woke up from a dream about my ex. He is a narcissist. I have had no contact with him since 2013, but somehow he shows up in my dreams. I hate this!
It feels like I can't fully break free from him even after such a long time. How is he still in my head?? How can I get him out?
Not the start to 2022 that I wanted...

#Dream #nightmare #Ex #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #EmotionalAbuse #mentalabuse #spiritualabuse #Trauma #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD

Last night at 4 am he made a new account (one that hasn’t been blocked) and told me to look on my porch. I go out and there’s little presents and also a love letter, which honestly had some creepy things in it. Everytime i tell him i don’t want to be with him he would say “i know you do, you’re just scared”. he doesn’t listen. Anytime i tell him to please stop he says “fine i guess i’ll just suppress my feelings then” and this makes me feel like a terrible person. it feel like emotional abuse but i don’t know. like i’m trapped into a corner and there’s no way out #Ex #Love #EmotionalAbuse #Abuse

I’ve been saying goodbyes. To the people I’ve worked for for 5 years, my ex’s parents (or so I had thought), and in a few days my colleagues. And next week, my home town (though I have already moved in, I am having to finish work up in my home town first).

I gave up the one-sided efforts with my ex. I finalised them on Monday, when I went to deliver him a letter. It explained that I couldn’t be his friend, with the reasons being things that were down to him. Because I couldn’t blame myself for any of it, and I explained the ways I tried to in the letter.

Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on the way you view it), my faith and my personality make me a very forgiving person. Add in the fact I’m supposed to be living with him, I was never exactly able to cut him off.

I had a message from E (my ex) after I left, which was more of an apology than the “sorry” I got in person. And he said he would do whatever it takes to make up for the wrong he did and the hurt he caused. I acted cold but he was insistent. So the next day I messaged him extending an olive branch, but I warned him that if things didn’t change that it was going to go back to what led to the letter. But so far, things are no different and I’m the only one bothering. I know it’s not fair of me to say that given it’s only been a few days, but from dating him I know him. I don’t believe things will change. But I’m giving him the opportunity all the same.

In other news, I’ve had other stuff going on.

I lost another 5 pounds. I’m back to the same weight I was 4 years ago, and it takes the total weight loss to 10 pounds in less than a month. It’s a lot to weight to lose to illness and depression (10% of my body weight). I’m hoping it is just that, but I guess I will find out when I have my blood test in a few weeks.

I haven’t heard back from ENT since I had my hearing test, so I called them today. Apparently they hadn’t passed on the results to the doctor that saw me, and it took me calling them for them to do that. So I have some extra waiting time now because of that, and also worry because I have been in this situation before and they’ve discharged me. Surely they shouldn’t this time with hearing loss though?

I’ve also been feeling really burnt out as of late. It feels like all I do is work, eat, sleep. I’ve just got to get through this week and things should be easier though, but then also busier so I can’t really win either way.

Anyway, here’s to hoping things will settle down soon. And I wish the same for anyone else who feels like they just have everything going on.

#Depression #MentalHealth #illness #WeightLoss #Ex #ent #HearingLoss #underweight #goodbye #moving #Forgiveness #Burnout #burntout #breakup

My abusive ex just can’t take the hint that I have no feelings for her anymore I’m now engaged to the most beautiful and amazing woman who I love with every fiber of my being my ex was truly awful she would hit me and insult me all the time and being a guy I couldn’t just simply hit her back and I think she knew that and when ever she sees me she comes running up to me and says I still love you please take me back and she knows I’m engaged and I’m in love with the woman I’m with it’s like every time I see my ex it opens old wounds and my fiancé is so good at calming me down how can I get my ex to leave us alone # relationship #Abuse #Ex