grandparents

Most times I talk to my grandmother (who I live with, along with my grandpa and brother), I either get criticized or she tries to start an argument.

If I come home from work tired and she's cooking, she'll tell me about how I should be cooking because my future husband is going to come home wanting a meal. To be clear, I don't even ask her to cook. If she didn't, I would find my own meal.

I'm currently engaged and she's already (very rudely) unloaded her opinion on me about how she thinks I shouldn't get married. That conversation lasted at least 30 minutes despite me telling her multiple times how I didn't want to talk about it.

She's initiated a couple of conversations about trying to keep my dog when I move out. She was implying that I wouldn't care for her, ignoring that I've lived on my own before with my dog. There was nothing reasonable that should have even put that idea in her head.

It's everything we discuss.

The things I do aren't good enough, and the focus is always on what I don't do.

Now she and my grandpa are telling me that I've had an attitude problem for weeks. That's because I'm ready to move out, get married, and have my own life where I'm not constantly criticized.

I'll admit I've said things (like "I need to move out") and I've had an attitude. I also don't open up to them very much, for good reason! I've felt over the years that things I'm excited about are rained on by them. That plus the criticism doesn't lead me to talk very much about my feelings.

She told me today that I've been acting like "a spoiled brat" and that I want to be "treated like an adult (I'm 21), 'Don't get in my business'" but that I "just want to be on the recieving end of emotional support."

She does give me some support, but I also get regular doses of a blatant lack of support.

I even have dreams about us arguing.

I know I'm not making the problem better, but I don't find myself caring too much.

Any advice? 🙃😐

#Depression #Family #Familyproblems #Grandparents #Dysfunction #rude #lackoffamilysupport #Relationships #Parents #Advice #help

I see faces
I hear names
But they Lie
They all spy

My photos of life
All under the knife
Fading away quick
All I know is a life of pain

All these threads unravelling
Each by each life rolls away
Red ball of life like my mind
A ball I cannot rewind

The old hat on the hook I know faint
The old man in the grave gone by taint
The old house out in the countryside
All my life is here and what I know

My five gracious giggling girls all grown up
I meet grandchildren but forget the next day
Their pictures in frames I just wish I know names
They dance like my mind in grass acres playing games

Can they see
They are free
They do know
My mind blank

Slowly decaying
My life slips away
I keep hold on tight
More vanish each night
Don’t know those of my own blood
My mind a scary great flood
Don’t know the town which I live
All these strangers around me

In the mirror I see emptiness
They beg me to remember my name
I know nothing of no one or life
I should be gone then cause this much strife

The wailing of a sweet grandchild in my arms
I look out to the land of beautiful farms
No time left to see a sight better than life
A life full of joy and pain faded away

Grief tears rolling down faces as speeches are spoken
A beautiful box with red petals
Whilst waltzing Matilda plays
She’s lowered down
And covered

This is a poem I wrote about my nana Dot who passed from dementia and Alzheimers 3 years ago. She was often confused and thought everybody was lying to her. At her funeral waltzing Matilda was played as it was her favourite song when she remembered. three years later this is my way of grieving finally. Enjoy #Dementia #AlzheimersDisease #Grandparents #lostgrandparents #Love #Pain #MemoryLoss #Memory #countryside #outback #gone #Death #Funeral #FamilyAndFriends #Family #confused #conspircy