Most times I talk to my grandmother (who I live with, along with my grandpa and brother), I either get criticized or she tries to start an argument.
If I come home from work tired and she's cooking, she'll tell me about how I should be cooking because my future husband is going to come home wanting a meal. To be clear, I don't even ask her to cook. If she didn't, I would find my own meal.
I'm currently engaged and she's already (very rudely) unloaded her opinion on me about how she thinks I shouldn't get married. That conversation lasted at least 30 minutes despite me telling her multiple times how I didn't want to talk about it.
She's initiated a couple of conversations about trying to keep my dog when I move out. She was implying that I wouldn't care for her, ignoring that I've lived on my own before with my dog. There was nothing reasonable that should have even put that idea in her head.
It's everything we discuss.
The things I do aren't good enough, and the focus is always on what I don't do.
Now she and my grandpa are telling me that I've had an attitude problem for weeks. That's because I'm ready to move out, get married, and have my own life where I'm not constantly criticized.
I'll admit I've said things (like "I need to move out") and I've had an attitude. I also don't open up to them very much, for good reason! I've felt over the years that things I'm excited about are rained on by them. That plus the criticism doesn't lead me to talk very much about my feelings.
She told me today that I've been acting like "a spoiled brat" and that I want to be "treated like an adult (I'm 21), 'Don't get in my business'" but that I "just want to be on the recieving end of emotional support."
She does give me some support, but I also get regular doses of a blatant lack of support.
I even have dreams about us arguing.
I know I'm not making the problem better, but I don't find myself caring too much.
Any advice? 🙃😐