#chronic pain#clueless#empty#grieving
Loss of a younger brother and was not able to attend celebration of life Saturday morning which also would have been another birthday for he and his twin. I sent a message to a dear friend that lost a brother month ago shared my story of my brother. She'll get it tomorrow. My brother and I shared a love of sports and I was texting him score of his football team morning of his eventual passing.
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#grieving birth family #Able body vs disabled, scammer this winter, #missed death by seconds last summer, #worker took advantage of me $$$! Currently my garden bed is a glimmer for me as well as my daily coloring books and apps, headphones and mini transistor radio to calm me down.
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Today is the 7th year anniversary of my mom transitioning.
With this comes so much more...
4 reactions I’m considering leaving the platform…
In the darkest part of my year, I’ve found very little support, and even before then I felt unnoticed. I’ve tried to stick around, but I think I might move on.
For all who came by my part of The Mighty, thank you.
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Do you relate? What do you do when you feel those ways? #ChronicIllness #chronicillnessawareness #chronicillnesssupport #chronicallyill #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CFS #MECFS #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #chronicillnesslookslikeme #chronicillnesslife #Spoonie #spoonielife #spooniecommunity #chronicillnesscomunity #Chronicpainwarrior #chronicpainawareness #ChronicPain #chronicillnessandme #grieving #griefjourney
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It’s only since October 2022 #grieving Sucks
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Recently going through a breakup, somewhat mutual but I brought up the fact that maybe we are going around in circles breaking up and getting back together, I had a bad panic attack/ crying I was stressed/ overwhelmed and they meant well to support me but were comparing me, saying I should be stronger, crying makes me weak etc, English isn’t their first language but they speak it well 🗣️, and I guess I was hurt because I know they meant well but it just made me feel more crappy and stigmatized, they kept going on and on and comparing me to other people etc. I know they loved me and were just concerned, but it sucks i feel regret though I feel in my gut it was problem for the best for both of us. But almost 3 years into a relationship
It’s still hard to let go. I’m proud of myself for doing a lot better than I expected but it’s hard when you get those emotional breakdowns and are just overwhelmed by everything and life in general.
#breakup #recovering #MentalHealth #Hurts #grieving #relationship #Ex
#healthybuttoxictoo #help #kindreminders #helpme #sad #Crying #Upset #Disappointed #regrets #dontknowwhattodo #isolated
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I’m sorry to rant, but I feel like I need to get some things off my chest. I know this isn’t exactly an encouraging message- but for many of us…. it’s relatable.
The price of independence is steep. I grieve because I am not who I used to be. I miss the person I used to be before these diseases took over. The physical pain is not what grieves me, it’s all of the emotions that come with accepting the fact that I now have limitations. I long to be able to do the things I used to. I feel like I have been robbed of my independence, self worth, hobbies, and my freedom. I miss being able to do things without being afraid of the consequences. I realize that I don’t look sick, and for that I am grateful. I am not seeking attention. I don’t want to burden my loved ones, but sometimes fighting this battle can be desperately lonely. I am constantly torn between “I can’t let this disease determine my quality of life” and “I must accept the defeat and rest”. I barely remember what it was like to be healthy, it all seems like a distant memory. I grieve what my life could have been. I always wanted to be mother. I grieve the children that I will never be able to carry. I grieve because the reality is that there is currently no cure, and I am only getting worse. I grieve because there is a large possibility that I will never be able to live without pain. The uncertainty within all of the “unknowns” of my life haunts me. I’m not depressed, I am grieving. There is a huge difference, and it is normal. Most days I’m able to hide the fact that I’m devastated by this illness, but today is not one of those days.
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Hello Everyone.
Welcome to another episode of #WhatOnEarthIsHappening ! 🤣
My emotions nose dived today like as if I was flying in an air plane circus show. #emotional time periods are not the best times, but they can be #Valuable when we have #Anxiety . I started to #think about all of these things that I have experienced so far since my father had died in March 2022.
When my #Dad passed away... I lost my favorite pain in the @$$. I was his favorite too. I #Love and #MISS my Dad so much. #Death is not an easy thing to #handle . But while I was #dealing with the #Lose of my Dad, I had them lost my job right after coming down with a terrible #illness .
It was a nightmare for me how I #lost my #Job and my #daddy all in such a short time span. I haven't found another job since because I have not mentally been #prepared for #MentalHealth is something that needed to be worked on as I am still #grieving over my father and my job.
So... Here I am... #RidingTheWaves that come in and out in my mind. Sometimes I just need to #RollWithIt and do what I need to do in the best way I can,.. even if it isn't my usual best. #Trying is better than #denying and #Procrastinating .
I must start small.
If I want a #Job ... I should try a small part time job somewhere. Maybe a retail job.. but.. even #Retail can be #stressful these days. It's getting #worse now that #AnxietyDisorder is getting stronger or more intense with me. But I will do my #best to #KeepWalking onward.
Do you have any words of encouragement for me?
#BipolarDisorder
#AnxietyDisorder
#PanicDisorder
#Parentloss
#Jobloss
#PTSD
#PMDD
#strength
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