lies

Never in my wildest dreams did I think my ex was going to be a crazy ex. He threatened my family and my favorite person in the world. I have never been so hurt by someone. He told me I'm not enough, I am just a stupid little girl (He knows not using my pronouns messes with me because he knows better), he threatened to hurt me, and he cussed me out badly. He said he was going to put a bullet through my favorite person (and many other similar remarks). The cops were called and I am going to talk to the administration at Uni tomorrow. I feel like such a loser. I believed my ex when he said I will never hurt you or threaten you. How could I be so blind? I will never find love I guess.

#Toxic #Depression #Ex #lies

My heart hurts. He left again after swearing he changed. Am I as worthless as he is treating me? I don't know if anyone even cares.

#breakup #lies #worthless

I get very angry because I am frustrated at my own decisions. I beat myself up about the friends I kept and how they took advantage of me. I don't know why I am so angry when my mum is just trying to help. I think it's more to do with the fact I don't want these problems and I should never have to deal with them in the first place.

I kept bad company in my late teens and was getting into a lot of trouble. I need to remind myself that none of the decisions I made are my mothers fault - I need to start taking ownership of my own life. I was involved with the wrong crowd and I have to accept that nothing positive comes from that type of existence. I know it is difficult to come to terms with and I am deeply sorry for my decisions.

I want to stop getting angry at my mother and stop blaming her for all the negative events that were inevitably going to occur. I was not cut out for that life and my parents were trying to warn me before anything happened to me. Luckily I managed to survive without any major life changing events but I am left with the mental trauma that I am not equipped to deal with.

I need to stop getting angry and start living life on my terms. My time on this planet is not perfect and the decisions I make merely reflect an imperfect life.

#PTSD #anger #Depression #Sadness #Drugs #Addiction #Guilt #Friends #association #nobody #empty #assualt #Trauma #Pain #hurt #betrayal #lies #Truth #hate #End #time #Life #Happiness #dreams #Love #Positivity #Support #Love #Rage #control

White lies or major lies? To avoid confrontation, or so on I don’t typically but sometimes I do and want to work on it, just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this and anxiety.

#Anxiety #lies #feelbad #DoingMyBest #selfaware #selfImprovement #Depression #Guilt #Shame #Dontknowwhy #ThankYou #Support

How to cope with a family member who has made horrible false accusations and lies about their family. She has torn us apart and we are facing serious legal consequences because of these accusations! Has anyone dealt with a Mentally I’ll family member who is destroying their family with lies!

My son and DIL had a son June 2020 bad timing I know. My first grandchild and I knew they were paranoid about the virus. My heart has been broken. I was not aloud to hold him until he was over 6 weeks old and I was in a hazmat suit. I spent 158 on 10 sets. Exactly what they wear in the hospital. I found out her mother was holding him from birth and could hold him every weekend.

They came to our house and had to stay 6 feet away and just watch from a distance with masks. Masks are no problem for me but no one else wore the hazmat suits except me. Her brother flew on a plane from Washington state to see his nephew. He held him with a mask. Also went to a New Years party and was back around the baby again. I can’t have a flu shot as it almost killed me the last time I got it in 2005. I was told I had to have the Dtap. Thank God I didn’t I would be dead now as my PCR showed it was still active and I did not need one. I have 4 specialists all say no to the vaccine. So I’m treated like I have the plague. My grandson is now almost 17 months and doesn’t know us. We rarely see him.

My therapist finally told me to just go and pick him up. Well I don’t do things like that. But my son sat here knowing that his MIL was holding him and I wasn’t. I feel betrayed and hurt. I sat there dying inside. I don’t feel any connection to my grandson he is like another kid not my grandson.

I am in a horrible depression over it. My son is disrespectful and they act like I don’t know anything about raising a baby. I had 2 and both were in and out of hospitals with health issues and multiple surgeries. This lasted an entire decade. Am I overreacting over this treatment???? . We also don’t get to do anything with him. I talked to my son about going to a pumpkin patch. Then I find out they already went with her mom. Once again I was hurt. We are going to stop over on Halloween and not even say anything.

Last Christmas I had to stay 6 feet away with a mask. I’m not doing it this year. I rather not see him at all because it just causes so much pain. My therapist says it’s normal for me to have these feelings but I really don’t “feel” anything anymore. I’ve had to disconnect emotionally to just survive this. My son told me they hate coming here because they have to bring so much. Her mom has a nursery at her house. So I went and spent money I don’t have and made one in my spare room. They have yet to use it. The clothes I bought he has out grown. I guess it was wishful thinking that they would come more. They go to her mothers every weekend or she is there. I am a lot older and I don’t know how long I will be around with all my health issues. Nothing is contagious but I am treated that way.

My therapist said I am not overreacting but they are. I had 9 friends have grandchildren and they didn’t have to even wear a mask.

#COVID19 #ChronicLymeDisease #brokenheart #Vaccines #ChronicInflammatoryResponseSyndrome #grandmothernot #Therapy #Depression #lies

I’m upset. My daughters who now both live in Columbus Ohio, arranged with their Dad to have me fly there without him! I was going to be dropped off at the airport by my husband, who wasn’t going to tell me, till the day of the flight that he wasn’t going! It was suppose to be a trip for us both. He let me believe that, then thought differently.

So it feels like manipulation to me. It feels like it always does, when he pushes me away, and plays approach and avoidance games. He does all kinds of things without me, and I feel alone sometimes and distanced in this relationship. I say this because if I were to make plans they’d get disregarded or planned over. I feel like an object that gets passed around, or like an the old lady my kids will have responsibility for, for 10 days.

No one asked me about the trip, or how I feel. Surprise..F’! I hate flying and especially by myself. I’ve decided it’s about control.

Having no out, and just staying with my daughter and son in law will be especially difficult for me. I love my daughters, but the oldest has stage 4 cancer and sometimes in the past she has been snappy and nasty to me. So there will be no help if she goes off on me. I’ll be there by myself feeling miserable, because no one lets me make my own choices.

I feel like shit for feeling this way, but I really dislike people trying to control me. I had to deal with it in my early life because I was molested as a young girl. I felt like there was no choice in the matter. No one would have believed me back then. As an adult I felt further blamed, abandoned, because I told my parents about what had happened to me, and they knew something was wrong then, but they didn’t help, and didn’t protect me at the time.

I hate people trying to manipulate, lie, or try to control me as an adult. I think I should tell my oldest, who supposedly presented the idea, that I know about the surprise? And, tell her that I’m glad her Dad said something now instead of the day of. My husband already consulted with my counselor and my counselor said for him to tell me. My husband said she thinks that I should to talk with her, before talking to my daughter.

Anyone, else feel awkward in this type of situation? When things are going on behind your back.? The only thing I can think of is that my daughter wanted to make it just a women’s time together? She doesn’t really know how controlling things will effect me. She’s worried about how her illness will progress and that it’s better for her to see me without her Dad.? We haven’t been together by ourselves since she was 18 and we traveling to colleges back East and in the mid-West. She’s now 40, diagnosed with Stage 4 HER breast cancer in November 2019. I’ve many conflicting thoughts about the trip; it just frightens me.

I’ll try to go with a better attitude I guess. It just helped me to write about it, thanks for reading a longish post..Thanks in advance for your thoughts and concern.
#BreastCancer #PTSD #lies #contr

hey guys!
I have recently been told that I have told 2 lies in regards to work. My boss says he swears he watched me break a piece of equipment accidentally and I said I didn't do it, I seriously have no recollection of this moment...and the same thing involving dropping the work phone and the screen breaking...I didn't do it like wtf is wrong with me. #Bipolar2Disorder #lies
this is also the second part of a series of events with an employee stating that im harassing them cause I messaged them a few times over the past 2 months trying to rectify things... #Bullying #blaming #lost
I just don't know how to move on

someone explain to me why this family member of mine who is a TOXIC ass narcissist..
I’m talking like gypsy rose blanchard’s mother (the mom from “mommy dead and dearest”) type of toxic.. has invented that she has cancer because no one wants to accept her apology.
MIND YOU, her apology is saying she’s sorry for how she reacted after everyone deceived her and betrayed her. then she says we should forgive her because she’s DYING??? and how she wants to leave us with her stuff and daughter to take care of. she provided fake lab results that prompted my family to look further into.. SHE’S LYING!
so since she was called out for lying, she’s actually doubled down on her claims and says she’s got 2 months left to live lol.
she repeatedly calls her parents, who are in their 90s, to harass them, insult them, and humiliate them out of anger that others won’t forgive her or believe the lies. she abuses her parents, hangs up, then calls back just to curse at them again. she makes them suffer and cry all the time only pushing people further away. but guess what?
she just pushes abuse on top of lies on top of harassment.

#narcissit #toxicparents #toxicfamilies #manchausenbyproxy #Abuse #lies

Can lying be something that take more than prayer and repentance to be free from? Can there be psychological reasons? I'm not looking for an excuse, however I've found myself lying and I've had no reason to, and am a mess of regrets and confusion later. Why did I do this again? I prayed about it, I wanted to be free from this sin, I must stop doing this. I know all the reasons not to and why I'll regret it later when I do it, yet it still happens. Am I just a bad seed who hasn't learned yet how to give up what I should and repent truly? I don't know, I feel horrible and yet when I pray about it I feel something in me resisting that I also pray I can fight to be free of, yet it also persists and my brain hurts, then I feel anxious and dread, the total opposite of what I'm trying to seek. I'm confused and frustrated. Why can't I just be free, feel at peace, walk in the Spirit? Having a relationship with the Lord, and accepting Jesus's gift of Salvation and cleansing me is so important, why can't I walk away from what I have every reason to? I don't have to suffer the guilt of unrepentance and sin, so why do I fail knowing what it will do? Knowing it's not worth it and will make things harder. #lies #Christianity #psychology