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Finding Your Worth in the Chaos You Live In By BigmommaJ
There is a kind of chaos that doesn’t just interrupt your life
it becomes your life. It’s waking up already tired. It’s carrying invisible weight.
It’s surviving day after day while quietly wondering when it will finally be your turn to breathe.
And somewhere in that chaos, many of us begin to believe a lie:
that our worth is tied to how well we’re coping. But worth was never meant to be proven by perfection.
“I learned how to survive before I learned how to live,
how to stay quiet in storms I didn’t create.”
When Chaos Becomes Your Normal For many of us, chaos isn’t new. It’s familiar. It’s what we adapted to as children, what we endured in relationships, what trauma taught us to expect. When chaos becomes your normal, peace feels uncomfortable. Stillness feels unsafe.
Healing feels like something you’re not quite allowed to have. So you keep moving. You keep showing up. You minimize your pain and tell yourself you’re “fine.”
“I wore strength like armor,
even when it was cutting into my skin.”
But survival, no matter how impressive, was never meant to be your final destination.
The Lie Chaos Tells You About Your Worth
Chaos has a voice. And it’s cruel.
It tells you that because your life is messy, you must be broken. That because you struggle, you are weak. That because you’ve fallen before, you will always fall again.
But struggle is not a flaw — it’s a response to pain.
You didn’t lose your worth when you became overwhelmed.
You didn’t give it up when addiction, trauma, or heartbreak entered your story.
You didn’t fail because healing isn’t linear.
“I thought being strong meant never breaking, but breaking was how the light finally got in.”
Your worth doesn’t disappear in chaos — it reveals itself there.
You Are Worthy Even Here
Even if:
1.You’re rebuilding your life again
2.You’re in recovery and some
days are heavier than others
3.You’re parenting while healing wounds no one ever tended
4.You look put together on the outside but feel fractured within
You are still worthy.
Worthy of rest.
Worthy of gentleness.
And if you need to hear this today, let me tell you:
You are worthy of help without guilt.
“I am learning that rest is not weakness, and asking for help is not failure.”
Healing doesn’t ask you to be perfect. It asks you to be honest.
Finding Your Worth in the Middle of the Storm.
Finding your worth in chaos doesn’t mean waiting until life settles down.
It means choosing to see yourself clearly while the storm is still raging.
It looks like:
1.Setting boundaries instead of explaining your pain
2.Choosing self-compassion over self-punishment
3.Letting go of the version of you that only knew how to survive
4.Believing peace isn’t something you have to earn
“I stopped waiting to be worthy,
and started believing I already was.” Your worth is not the reward for healing. It is the foundation healing stands on.
Rising Above Your Norm
There was a time I believed chaos was all I deserved.
That peace was reserved for other people — stronger people, better people.
But rising above your norm doesn’t mean erasing your past.
It means refusing to let it define your future.
You can honor the part of you that survived without forcing yourself to stay in survival mode forever.
“I am no longer just surviving
I am becoming.”
And if you need to hear this today, let me tell you:
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not failing.
You are finding your worth —
right in the middle of the chaos you live in.
Choose Yourself, Even Here
If you are living in chaos, let this be the moment you stop believing that pain is the price of your existence.
Stop waiting to be healed before you believe you are worthy.
Stop shrinking your needs to make others more comfortable.
Stop convincing yourself that survival is all you’re allowed.
Choose yourself — even here.
Even tired.
Even unsure.
Even in the middle of the mess.
Speak up.
Ask for help.
Set the boundary.
Take the first step toward support, recovery, or rest.
You do not have to do everything alone to prove your strength.
You do not need to earn compassion — you deserve it.
And you are not weak for wanting more than survival.
If this piece spoke to you, let it move you. Share it. Save it. Sit with it.
But most of all — act on it.
Because healing doesn’t begin when life becomes quiet.
It begins when you decide that your life matters — now.
BigmommaJ
#Selflove #selfImprovement #Selfworth
#MentalHealth
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