Just Breathe ;
I had a moment yesterday.
I had a couple of better days. I went in town with my family and did some shopping on Friday. And yesterday I spent the morning actually sat on the sofa downstairs with my husband and children.
And then the payback kicked in.
The pain flared, and I ended up back upstairs, on the bed, on my own again.
I took my painkillers, and then I lay there waiting for some relief that never seemed to come.
I just lay, in agony, thinking how unfair it was that a day and a half of some version of a normal life could still leave me like this.
I lay there just wanting the pain to stop.
And the thought crossed my mind that there was a way to make it stop.
And for a brief moment, that thought seemed very attractive.
An end to the pain, and the grief of what my life looked like now.
And then I remembered that that was a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I remembered that I am in control of my life even when it feels like my situation is controlling me.
I am the author of my story.
I chose to take a pause, to give myself a chance to think past my pain.
And I’m so glad I did.
Because my story is important.
All of our stories are important.