Persistent Depressive Disorder

Hello, Mighties (-: I am really going through it today. I have been struggling with depression and dissociation for about a week. I’m using my DBT skills and supports to try to get through my work week, but I’m still struggling. I called out today from work because I am just a mess. Anyone have advice/insight/thoughts on navigating responsibilities when it feels impossible? Thanks for the support and I wish you all well! (-: #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #ChronicFatigue #Dysthymia #MentalHealth #Grief

Hello, Mighties (-: I am really going through it today. I have been struggling with depression and dissociation for about a week. I’m using my DBT skills and supports to try to get through my work week, but I’m still struggling. I called out today from work because I am just a mess. Anyone have advice/insight/thoughts on navigating responsibilities when it feels impossible? Thanks for the support and I wish you all well! (-: #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #ChronicFatigue #Dysthymia #MentalHealth #Grief

I work to provide for myself and my mom. My mom needs me financially but otherwise nobody seems to care. She doesn’t want me to die because my brother died suddenly. I get it my physical and mental illnesses don’t make me the life of the party. Everybody has their own lives. So why am I alive? A question nobody seems to be able to answer. Not even me. My body and mind are broken. I’m so tired of fighting. I don’t know what I have left. I filed for bankruptcy because ketamine is the most effective treatment. No insurance coverage just out of pocket. I spend so much money trying to stay alive and I don’t know why.

I’ve been trying to make friends lately and it seems like anytime it’s time to bring up my condition, People are just so nasty about it. They act like it’s just an exaggeration and they know exactly what to do to “cure” me , but have never suffered from mental health issues ever. It’s just hurtful, I feel like I just don’t fit in anymore. I’m very fortunate to have a supportive husband but miss that friend connection. I feel boxed in. #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety

Hello, I’m Laura, 23. Originally from Mexico but was raised in Canada.

I have a whole history of intra generational family trauma, I super appreciate all the sacrifices my family did to bring me here, I love them but it is so incredibly hard to get along with them as we are a high stress/ super dysfunctional and toxic fam sadly. We have been through a lot, and I feel a lot of internal shame. Mental health issues run from my mom’s side in particular, and more health issues on my dad’s side.

It’s been tough
Ups and downs, there’s a whole lengthy history about all the stuff we have been through as a family. I love them all so so much, I’m super empathetic but it’s draining the fact we just can’t get along, it was always mainly my mom and dad who literally can’t stand each other but never got divorced because of financial reasons, they aren’t too much the traditional or religious type at least my mom especially she’s actually pretty anti-mexican and racist ironically so I wasn’t really raised in my culture, so I have some issues there too though I try to be open minded and find out on my own. Anyways long story short.

She’s diagnosed with major major depression, severe ptsd, chronic pain, heart disease, and so on she also most likely has super bad undiagnosed anxiety, very explosive bpd/ anger issues etc.

My sister has ulcerative colitis, and I’ve guessed oppositional defiant disorder or just very rebellious even since a child but not diagnosed could just be her and my mom have never ever gotten along and maybe never will lol to the point it gets violent confrontations, we have had to call the cops before sometimes, my sister has improved a lot but she also has pretty explosive bpd and anger issues, anxiety, long term depression or dysthymia i don’t know it’s like a thing where she rarely ever feels happy and is always numb or very callous in a way/ stoic she never ever cries.

My dad is more traditional

And things emotional health/ meant health is being weak minded etc

Just Canadian things even though my moms mother and aunt in Mexico have severe mental health too and are homeless due to lack of resources and understanding, her mom is very poor and skinny now as elderly sadly apparently but she is housed.

Anyways there’s a whole life story really hard to put into one post only.

Anyways I have diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder so basically chronic stress and severe anxiety at times other times it’s low functioning/high functioning
Environment is a big one for me since there’s been some emotional abuse for a while now. Though I love my fam it’s hard to get into counselling without them wanting to, or them never wanting to learn non violent communication and learn healthy boundaries and so on.

I’m struggling internally because I have depression, ptsd, social anxiety, panic disorder, etc

My biggest are anxiety and depression.

But since my sister is diagnosed with BPD and my mom has most likely undiagnosed BPD too my current mental health caseworker says I might actually be at risk for it
Because though I don’t maybe apply to the most common symptoms or diagnosis criteria there is a spectrum.

I don’t have too many anger issues myself or explosive bpd like they do because I’ve been on the receiving end and I know what that feels like,

I’m a huge Empath and highly sensitive person,

I don’t like to be victimized in the sense I try my best to volunteer, get counselling, work on my conditions, there’s so much stigma and hate and I respect people who don’t believe in mental health stuff or support it, but at least for me personally. Know it’s just as important as physical health and ignoring it only makes it worse in my case. Sometimes I overthink everything am I really anxious and depressed or feel like a burden to society and so on but I try really hard to use self love and acceptance while I do my best to cope and do self improvement.

Anyways sorry just venting because I guess it’s hard to explain some things to counsellors as each one has their approach and currently can’t find free or affordable counselling and my caseworker is nice to get me support and resources but a bit stigmatizing in some things too or at least has a different approach in some things. A bit of lack of empathy just because on the outside I appear high functioning due to masking my mental health but I try not to and struggle a lot behind the scenes sometimes since my environment makes my recovery a lot worse sadly and it’s hard at the moment to keep a job etc

.

.

It’s hard because in recent years my sister has become super conservative and what some people would consider Qanon
I respect her beliefs and love her I know in some ways maybe some stuff is true some is not idk

But also I love my mom and dad but my mom constantly lashes out and belittles me and my dad can be stigmatizing in comments it’s just a hard mix when you just want to love your family and also not be drained or affected by being around them I worse on my triggers so much but it’s hard when I just absorb everything and they always have to be right hard to voice my needs or stand up for myself / boundaries

So for me the only way is to spend less time with them sadly and make a second family outside the home with more positive or accepting individuals though I love my fam and hope we can get better in the future

Anyways I guess it’s hard because lately my head isn’t a safe place I repeat everything the thought patterns and things they say
I went to an lgbtq+ friendly event today to support some of my friends as an ally. And all I can do is feel is this right is this wrong, even though I’m just trying to be nice and attend my first pride event, I respect liberal and conservative people religious or not /democrat or republican etc I have friends or fam on both sides, but it’s hard I feel I have no voice like I can’t respect myself and constantly question myself

It’s hard I feel maybe my inferiority complex and trauma etc some things might be linked to possible bpd or at least more counselling I need to do to work in I’ve been getting so many headaches lately from extreme heat outside walking as I can’t/ don’t drive at the moment and we had a bus strike for almost 6 months

And all the overthinking
I know coping tools and meditation etc I take medication maybe I need an increase in meds or additional meds but I’m scared about side effects idk I guess I’m just a struggling probably need to journal some more I just want the extra mean internal thoughts to go away it’s not me it’s not who I try to be I’m a decent and kind person I try to help when I can and be open minded help in the community but I can’t seem to do it lately for myself and it just makes me break down I try gratitude stay positive eyes but sometimes some days nothing helps it’s tough or my moods and thoughts change so much during the day it’s hard I know I just have to be good enough for me I shouldn’t care what anyone else says or thinks but it’s hard especially when it comes from your family most of the time

Thanks for any kindness and non judgmental comments this might sound over dramatic and I’ll feel better tomorrow but I guess just hard sometimes. Anyways excuse the long rant or venting and any typos or lack of grammar my phone is slow .

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Stress #Trying #New

Hi, my name is kansasmagic. I'm here because I have depression. I guess it’s hard to precisely diagnose depression, but what I have read about persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia), major depressive disorder, and existential depression all sounds familiar. I think I have PDD (rooted in my shy-introverted personality and tendency to ruminate), going back years or even decades, along with episodic MDD. Existential depression is along for the ride.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression

The last several months, i’ve been dealing with a very low mood and a general resurgence of my depression. Although i’ve been able to get through my workdays, i have had no energy or interest left over to do the self-care activities that typically help me out of a rough patch - cooking & baking, knitting, reading, yoga, walks. All i have been able to do after work for months is watch tv, scroll on my phone (i limit phone scrolling to pinterest and buzzfeed at least - i know most other social media makes me feel too bad), eat microwave meals, take out, and maybe one or two things i’ve made myself. I know this is not sustainable - i might be able to get through the workday but there’s no joy and no energy left over to be able to engage in things that could bring me joy.

When this depression resurgence came on, my psychiatrist and i decided to change my antidepressant medication again (i’ve had a few med changes in my history). This round we’ve tried Trintillex and then a “refined” version of Celexa, a drug i’ve done okay on (meaning i had some more mental stability but no ability to experience joy - better than not having any medication but still not sustainable long term). The trintillex didnt really help me unfortunately and the refined Celexa has been just okay - still no real ability to experience joy.

I was starting to try a third option this past weekend. I’ve now paused on that because the side effects packed a wallop (extreme grogginess, which is then followed by a weird spaciness - a feeling where it felt like my head was a balloon and my neck was merely a string terhering the balloon to the rest of my body). And although i would normally be willing to put up with random side effects, a few things at work have coincided and it happens to be a really critical time there right now - not a time where it’s easy to get time off work, and a time when i certainly need to feel like my head is a head and not a balloon just to be able to function. I am going to try switching over again when things calm down at work, which should be mid june.

My psychiatrist has been great and i am thankful for that. The medication i have just paused on would be the seventh medication i have tried over the years. Now that i have tried so many, we are starting to talk about different therapies such as TMS or possibly ECT. It’s just hard to access those treatments where i live unless you’ve tried several different medications first.

So even if i dont respond to the medications, that might help me get closer to trying TMS or another therapy which might help. It’s just that for now, i’m still stuck in survival mode. And surviving is good, yes, but i’ve already spent so long only surviving. I would like to experience something a little more than that - a little joy, a little light, a little happiness once in a while. I would like to have a little energy left over at the end of the work day to do something just for me. Or not need to take a two hour nap on Saturday and Sunday because i am so worn out from the previous week of working and keeping it together enough to work. (Side note, we’ve ruled out any potential physical/medical causes of my tiredness - i am tired because i end up using all my energy coping with and overcoming negative and depressive thoughts, or masking how i am feeling in front of coworkers. At this point, i wish my exhaustion was something physical that could be treated more easily.) Staying stuck in survival mode doesn’t really allow for joy.

Anyway. This is longer than I intended. I’ll end with if you are still stuck in survival mode, i’m cheering you on and hoping that you find a little piece of happiness soon. I hope you find the thing that turns your survival into a thriving life.

#Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #TreatmentresistantDepression #Anxiety #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #Selfcare #MentalHealth

Does anyone else feel guilty for being in bed or, like me, secretly feel better in their own space? # #Fibromyalgia #CHD # #Dysthymia #MenieresSyndrome

Does anyone else feel guilty for being in bed or, like me, secretly feel better in their own space? # #Fibromyalgia #CHD # #Dysthymia #MenieresSyndrome

Hi, my name is Introvertedlife. I'm here because I feel like a total failure. I expected so much from my life & have nothing. I live about 20,000 below poverty, have to live with my mother which has added to her debts. I haven't worked in close to 30 yrs, never been married or had any children of my own. Everything I thought I'd have by the time I reached my 50s (currently 51) hasn't happened & I am wondering why the h*ll I bothered to stay here this long. If I'd done what I wanted when I was a teenager..... Maybe my family would be better off now. =(
#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #DiabetesType2 #Dysthymia