Testicular Cancer

Hello there it is nice to meet you all
I will just like to talk little bit about me i have cancer I was diagnosed with testicular cancer this year and I have done chemo for it and it was hell #Cancers

This will seem scattered, but I don’t know what to do. I’m depressed all the time and it’s ruining my life. I’ve unintentionally isolated myself from people more and more and it’s destroyed any self esteem. I don’t know how to talk to people anymore. I don’t use social media. I’ve always wanted to get married and start a family but that can’t happen if I hate myself. I feel like I’m pushing myself down a path that ends at suicide. I just feel empty and don’t enjoy anything. My life is get up, work, sleep, and think about death in between. I have had kidney stones a lot and a few weeks ago I went to the hospital because I thought I had a bad one, which I did, but then they saw a tumor that ended up being testicular cancer and had surgery to remove it and have a follow up in a few weeks to see if it’s all gone or if I have to start a full chemo treatment. I keep thinking that if I do then I will kill myself. I don’t want to but I’m sick of my life and don’t see a realistic path out of the mess I made. I hate myself for ruining my life. I used to be smart, funny, attractive, and confident that I could do anything, but that person died a long time ago. I’ve always been an introvert, but I feel so alone. I haven’t had a primary care doctor for 10 years and am scared to find one to ask about anti depressants despite working in healthcare. I don’t take any medications. I’m scared of what would happen if I told someone how depressed I am. Sorry this is all over the place. I guess it’s more like a stream of consciousness.

my name is todd richard koza im 39 years old an im a survivor of testicular cancer 2 x, an im cancer free 4 years now……

Do u know how Rare u here about testicular cancer on tv never, u here about breast cancer,brain cancer,lung cancer,pancreatic cancer,lukeima,hodgekins,bone cancer an more….. Men at 15-35 get testicular cancer an live an fight but some don’t….. I’m making a stand for men around the world an every human being dealing with cancer it’s a bad disease to have u could die from it I lost my mom an uncle from cancer an ima survivor of testicular cancer 2 X…….. Please gentlemen go to the doctor an get ur self checked cause if u don’t ur going to go through lots of hell to get rid of cancer an let me tell u it’s not easy your going to have to go through treatments lots of them an blood work an chemotherapy an radiation therapy an it’s going to take a toll on ur body, Loss of hair, throwing up, hot an cold flashes etc.. But u will be sore after all this is done u won’t be able to rest but when you do rest it’s starts all over again treatments everything… So I’m standing up 2 cancer an ready to stop it I its tracks…. Have anybody ever see somebody go through cancer it’s not fun, they’re always sick an in bed fighting this fucking disease that’s going to kill them etc. men don’t be afraid to step up an get urself checked out ok it’s worth it in the long run…… I was in high school the first time I had cancer an the 2nd time at work an my co-workers were scared for me but they were there for me anything that i need they were there helping me out and more… Now I’m cancer free over 4 years now an getting busy living… So guys who’s with me on the fight to stop testicular cancer in its tracks, I made a group on Facebook if u gentlemen want to join ok an my team name is “SHORTY KOZA N’ THE SURVIVORS”,,,,please talk to me I’m here to help an I’m behind u all 100%…. I’m spreading the word an I would love to have more help getting more viewers etc… What would u do if u didn’t get checked out an u feel sick an in pain an more……

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