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Finding Hope During Depression
When consumed by the depths and darkness of depression, finding hope can feel daunting and even impossible altogether. The weight of depression can shift how you perceive and experience the world. Life becomes filtered through a lens of heaviness and hopelessness, which can make it difficult to feel that things could ever be different. In the grip of depression, it's often hard to see what there is to look forward to. It can sometimes seem like every day is going to be more of the same emptiness and difficulty to locate the path through.
Hope Retreats During Depression
When depression has taken over, affirmations and certain self-talk, such as telling yourself to “stay positive”, or other similar ones, are generally unhelpful. This is because positive self-talk in the midst of internal darkness and pain tends to misalign with the psychological and emotional state that you're caught in. Hope is not something you summon through willpower. It's quite difficult to take a "just do it" approach with hope (even if you can push yourself to get out of bed and move through your day). The general ability to see and feel optimistic about the future becomes compromised during depression. It isn't so much that your mind and body are refusing to hope. Instead, it's more like it has temporarily lost access to the feeling of hope and how to find it.
Therefore, restoring hope isn't about forcing an immediate shift. It's less like flipping a switch and more like caring for a garden that needs a nurturing environment to begin to grow again. It’s a gradual process.
Depression And Disconnection
Depression often comes from a variety of factors. Sometimes it slowly develops over time starting from early experiences where your emotional needs may not have been met, leaving a sense of internal emptiness. Other times, it may be a response from more recent losses: a relationship, loss of identity, or missing a sense of purpose. Depression can also be the result of past trauma that is being carried, whether more recent, or even further in the past. And more.
When depressed, it's common to experience a strong sense of disconnection from the world, others, and even from yourself. You might have difficulty connecting with things that once brought you meaning or satisfaction. Things that used to be motivating or exciting now may feel purposeless or irritating, etc. Even your feelings can become numb and your thoughts may seem different -- darker, negative, etc. This feeling of disconnection can make it very difficult to feel excited or hopeful about the future or life in general.
Creating Space for Reconnection
Depression is a state that needs attention, even when a part of you may want to push any attention or care away (which is common response during depression). The shame that people often experience when depressed can actually make it harder to reconnect and find a sense of hope. Shame can lead to self-blame and to beating yourself down simply for struggling in the first place. It may feel like you shouldn't be struggling, but are anyway, which can be a frustrating feeling.
When working with people in therapy for depression, part of the process is aiming to understand what this psychological and emotional state might be communicating or responding to. For example, depression can sometimes be a way of unconsciously expressing that important parts of your life are not in sync. Perhaps you’ve been storing and carrying difficult emotions or ignoring your own needs for too long. Or, maybe you've been feeling neglected, alone, trapped, sad, or like no one understands you or what you deal with and there isn't room for the support you need.
As you are more able to reflect on your emotional experiences and connect with what's underlying the heaviness and darkness, it becomes more possible to release the weight of the depression and restore a sense of hope.
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