people

¿ " So I Got Woken Up At 4:30A.M.... With A Call And Text... Asking Me To Come Into Work... All Because Some Kid Called In... But My Boss " NEVER " Get's Mad And Put's Down These Kids... For Missing Work.. Then At 6:30A.M. Another Call.. And Lastly Another Call At 7:57A.M.... Like Hello U Know That I'm Off Right. And They Just Hired More People With My Experience Use Them.. I Value My Day's Off.. And I'm Off Tomarrow.. Thursday I'm Pretty I'm Going To Hear Why I Didn't Answer Anything... And Then All Of Them Act Mad At Me... Like Alway's... 🤯🙄🤬😡... " × Sincerely, ☆ Skaoi Kvitravn ☆ #people

By no means am I blaming football for my mental health problems. I have fond memories of playing sport and being part of a team/organisation. I was gifted with the ball and excelled on the pitch.

It was my father who ruined my experience. It was not enough for my father to simply appreciate that his son was capable of running, jumping and kicking a ball. He brought along a competitive spirit that was not only embarrassing but toxic.

I was skillful but I was not a naturally gifted athlete with any attributes that made me excel far beyond my years. I was playing in the year above and starting in the team but again this was not enough for my father who expected me to excel in the squad. I lacked in stature and athletic ability (speed mostly) and this would eventually lead to difficulties towards the end of my playing days.

If I ever get around to having kids, I will think long and hard before enrolling them in to a competitive sport / environment. The problem with competitive sport is it breeds a mindset based on results. The schooling system is also guilty of this. I would like this post to focus on the issue of sports although I also experienced major issues at school.

There is an argument for competitive sport but my overall consensus is it did me more harm than good. The need to be the best always critiquing how I played, never being satisfied and the game forever playing on my mind. For something that gave me very little it is very taxing on the psyche.

My team disbanded and I was forced to join a new team in a more difficult league for which I was not prepared. The game was no longer fun and became serious business with everyone trying to make it to the senior squad where money was involved.

It was a combination of life getting in the way of my dream of becoming a footballer and my own poor life choices. It takes a very strong willed individual to ignore the lights, girls & music and focus solely on the game. You need to be wiling to sacrifice for the sport. When I gave up on football, I started to experience identity issues as I felt the game made me who I was.

My dad only wanted the best for me, so when I started to act out and started to steal it was a shock to him and he didn't know how to handle my behaviour.

It wasn't until I stopped playing football and realised that the game had left me feeling empty and took a lot away from me. It also left me with a competitive streak that I sought to satisfy elsewhere. I felt deep sadness that my own stupid decisions had ruined my dream of becoming a footballer.

In my later years I have trouble agreeing to be part of a team, group or association. Football is not the sole reason for this but adds to my mental problems associated with gang mentality. It also brings out an us against them mentality which I don't want anything to do with. Keeping to myself has brought on its own challenges and I fight with negative emotions most of the time as I come to terms with who I am.

#self #Myself #Individual #Fear #solely #Responsible #scared #groups #people #Smoking #Drugs #Addiction #Drinking #gangs #ME #Sport #cutthroat #toxicmasculinity #goingout #lights #Music #Addiction #Depression #isolated #nobody #bymyself #Girls #Identity #competition #NotGoodEnough #best #First #winning #Success #failure #defeat #bottom #Fights #Life #Death #alone

When my world came crashing down, I was forced to find my way in the world. Every bad decision I made altered the course of my life. I was stuck in a rut as my father described it. Unfortunately for me; it was much worse than that.

The rut was one thing and the need to pull myself out of it was ever present. Sadly the rut was only the beginning of a life-time of negative emotions and regret. I wish I could have experienced the trauma and continued with a positive attitude and I did attempt to forget about the people who hurt me. No matter how hard I tried to forget and move on I was stuck reliving the trauma over and over again.

Angry, sadness and revenge continuously played on my mind. As time has passed I just wanted some closure from the incident as it is forever haunting me. Even an apology would make me feel a little better instead I am stuck in self-loathing and misery while the people who hurt me continue on as though nothing happened.

While everyone my age was having a good time and enjoying their youth, I would spend each weekend isolating in my room. Weekends trying to forget what happened to me with the help of marijuana. I was my own worst enemy, imprisoned and desperate for a solution. Just like everything else in my life - I was looking for an easy fix. An easy fix which I am still looking for to this day

I have come to realise that trauma will be ever present in my life. It has become a part of me whether I like it or not. The victim mindset has plagued me for years and I need to make a change. I need to let go of the negativity and anger once and for all.

#Recovery #PTSD #Depression #selfmedicate #Sadness #Pain #hurt #suffering #Addiction #Hatred #Jealousy #anger #despair #gloom #Doom #Love #Support #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Friendship #Family #people #places #things #control #Emotion #sad #feelingbetter #Slowly #Survivor #illness #struggle #adversity #Sabotage #selfawareness #Reflection

A “friend” was so concerned they fucking called 911 on me for suicidality

I made it clear I cannot live with my issues but they forced this belief that I need help. I should have died instead of talking to them. What a betrayer
#people

Just trying to get human connection #people

Just wanted to introduce myself! I'm Sue. I currently hold three jobs in the human services field. I'm a full-time Behavior Management Coordinator and I have two relief positions in residential, one at an agency that serves autistics and the other at an agency who serves people with mental health diagnoses. It's safe to say that I love people! 😊
#HumanServices #people #Autism #MentalHealth #Behavior

📺 - #Gratitude , Forgiveness, Turning Points & Transphobes - #DwhellOnIt Ep. 60 - tinyurl.com/yckytkh7

🗣 - "Hooray you! Hooray, cisnormative communities, cisnormative environments, cisnormative businesses, and cisnormative lawmakers, hooray that after millennia of #gender -diverse individuals existing in the world, you finally are starting to create a space where they do not get attacked as much."

❓ - What's #DwhellOnIt ?

👀 - Dwhell On It is a series where I answer your questions about my lived #experience as a #trans woman!

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* What are the most significant turning points of a #trans person's life?

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* "You mention you don't regret the time lost. How do you do that? I'm starting HRT at 39, but I've been questioning my #gender for 15-20 years, and I'm constantly thinking about what would have happened if I'd figured it #Out or been braver early on." - https://tinyurl.com/2zcxas8y

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#LGBTQ #LGBT #Pride #equality

#people with bi-polar disorder live in families and cultures of shame, dislike, and denial. The family system is usually a mess and everybody points their emotional prejudice onto the person who is bi-polar or if they have some other significant mental disability. The bi-polar person usually has to drag their way through a swamp and even terror of grief, sadness, anger, trauma and deals with depression and then mania that the average person has zero understanding about. If the bi-polar person can come through, get some emotional and spiritual ground for themselves than they can teach family members, friends, about their disability and how they can be supported. The first period maybe for years is usually experienced alone as the family angrily throws the person out on their ear. The family often has no idea about their issues because they have no introspection, they have no self insight, so they come from unconsciousness and delusion. Saying the bi-polar person lies is the height of fake news. They are usually the one who begins their path of healing and recovery in the awareness of their suffering.