Binge Eating Disorder

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Binge Eating Disorder
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    Frustrating

    I been struggling with depression for i guess a few years now, i left it untreated for most of it but i started seeing people for it for the past 7 months and im on antidepressants, it was going well for some time but i just feel stuck in a cycle again, i go to sleep when the sun rises i wake up at dinner time, i dont have an appetite or energy to shower, i get frequent thoughts about TW SH, selfharm again, last night i tried flicking a hairtie against my wrist because i felt like exploding, i am also taking meds again which i quit a month or 2 ago (my therapist doesnt know im taking them again) *benzo* they just help me get through the days but if i would tell her that she would wanna control my dosage again etc, i feel like i dont really get the help i need or understanding, i got a appointment tommorow but i havent really been feeling like going past few weeks even "overslept" a few times because i just didnt want to go.

    But i am just so frustrated i thought it was getting better and now i am just stuck in this cycle again of feeling hopeless.

    Ty for reading

    #MentalHealth #Depression #BingeEatingDisorder

    19 reactions 9 comments
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    Vent TRIGGER WARNING. #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #BingeEatingDisorder

    Heyyy... So i got diagnosed with bpd recently, like two days ago but i was taking antipsychotics since I was 14 , and i was diagnosed by severe depression I was also intaking lithium. But i dont know why the psychiatric didn't diagnose me before I went to a different doctor and he told me then I consulted another doctor which was my mother even though she was a surgeon. I have severe trust issues so that's why. Now I have to apply to colleges and take exams, I'm even starting a course which costs a lot. And i hate myself because of that because my parents can't afford it. But they always provide money for education they told me not to care about that. And i am in a very bad mental state since two months I'm not able to study or focus. I was the best student in every grade till I was in 9th grade, even then till high school was finished I was a bit above average and now I can't do anything. I'm self harming. And i cannot deal with myself. I just want to escape.

    6 reactions 5 comments
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    Sharp feelings.. #EatingDisorders #EatingDisorderRecovery #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #AnorexiaNervosa #BingeEatingDisorder

    I have a big thing with memory and memories. I had #ECT and I believe I have trauma from it. It’s one of those memories that gives sharp feelings, from the bits I do remember.

    Sharp feelings are what I get with the majority of things. Sharp happiness, sadness, anger, etc. I get rushes and strong feelings that can arrive all of a sudden. I work on regulating my emotions 24/7. I work on dulling some of the sharpness, so that I don’t have as painful of reactions.

    I am incredibly triggered, which has filled me with sharp feelings and memory flooding. All of my mental dams break seemingly at once. I have to catch myself before I react in behaviors.

    I want to be happy. I want to look at photos and have them fill me with joy. They do for a split second, I believe. Though it has to be like 0.00001 of a second.

    I saw photos of me from a time that I was very sick, but everyone was so happy with me and how I looked. I finally liked me, but that feeling of liking myself would come in sharp bursts randomly. I had more bursts of extreme love for my looks that would crash almost as quickly as the joy I mentioned earlier.

    The downside was when I didn’t have the random sharp bursts of good, I had long periods of confusion, self hatred, and extreme sadness. In the majority of time, I hated myself and couldn’t see what I truly looked like. When the bursts of happy came I saw one thing in the mirror but it would disappear as soon as I would recongnize that I was happy with my looks.

    The mental gymnastics happen in fractions of a second. It’s peaks and pits constantly. It’s so draining that it takes your life. It does it as slow and painfully as possible, so why do I want it like someone wants drugs?

    My stepdad found photos from my moms old iPad. They were of me dressed up for my Grandfathers wedding, and others were of me all dressed up before prom. I have not seen these photos since they were taken, or shortly thereafter.

    I see them and am in shock at what I looked like. The feeling of seeing myself in these photos vs. what I remember thinking I looked like. I can’t even begin to explain..

    I want it back. I want to look like that again so bad I could scream, but I know better. In February 2023 it’ll be 10 years since my college friends gave me a very traumatic (but probably life saving) intervention and told the college. February 2013 was when I first got any help for my eating disorder.

    I can’t let the anger I feel due to people not believing I have an eating disorder anymore (due to weight gain and RECOVERY), ruin me.

    I cannot go backwards because of those photos. I need to change the narrative.

    You know, people REALLY underestimate the mental power we exude just to live minute to minute staying on the right track.

    Boy am I tired.

    7 reactions 2 comments
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    I can’t make myself throw up. I tried everything and I just can’t. After I binge I feel like a failure doubly. The next day I fast few h and again.

    #BulimiaNervosa #Vomiting #Fasting #BingeEatingDisorder #BINGE #EatingDisorders

    1 reaction 2 comments
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    Binge eating

    #EatingDisorders

    A severe and life-threatening disorder, Binge Eating Disorder is characterized by recurring episodes of excessive food consumption. A recent but important addition to the officially recognised list of disorders, binge eating is capable of immense harm to the body and mind.

    Basics of Binge Eating:

    Warning Signs:

    Binge eating is an insidious disorder, it gradually develops over a period of time. Be wary of these warning signs:

    -Stealing or hoarding of food in strange places

    -Withdrawing from friends and usual activities

    -Going on-and-off on diets

    -Uncomfortable while eating around others

    Symptoms:

    Binge eating directly impacts your physiology and psychology, it comes with a plethora of symptoms. They include

    -Fluctuations of weight, both increase and decrease.

    -Stomach cramps

    -Constipation

    -Acid Reflux

    -Difficulty in concentration

    Consequences:

    The prominent health risks associated with Binge Eating Disorder are clinical obesity, weight stigma and weight cycling. Yo-yo dieting is common among those with BED. Not all people who are clinically obese have BED, but two-thirds of people with BED are clinically obese. Similarly, while most people with BED have higher-than-average weight, it can be diagnosed at any weight.

    More severe cases of BED lead to Bulimia Nervosa: a life-threatening eating disorder involving cycles of binge eating and behaviors like self-induced vomiting.

    You can refer to this:

    resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-disordered-eating

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    Potential signs of an Eating disorder

    #EatingDisorders

    Eating disorders including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and other specified feeding or eating disorder (OSFED) most commonly emerge during adolescence or young adulthood and disproportionately impact females. These illnesses often linger, so it is not rare for them to persist into a woman’s reproductive years. When they do, they can impact the health of the baby as well as the mother, so it is critical to understand the interactions between pregnancy and an eating disorder.

    Research on the incidence of eating disorders during pregnancy (and in general) is limited. In addition to a relative lack of studies, the results of the studies we do have may be skewed by the reluctance of many women who are pregnant to admit they have an eating disorder. Some estimates indicate that—if subthreshold disorders are included—eating disorders may affect between 5 to 8 percent of women during pregnancy.

    One study conducted in Norway found that one out of 21 women had an eating disorder while pregnant, with binge eating disorder being the most prevalent.

    You can refer to this:

    resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-disordered-eating

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    Is it wrong to feel bitter?

    Lately I’ve been noticing that I’m so angry, I don’t feel listened to and when I do speak up things get so trivialized. I had an older emergency room visit summary pop up in my email and I read the notes and it’s not at all what was happening at that time. That actively hurts my records , my case , even seeing new doctors that look and come to the conclusion that I’m just being dramatic. I’m tired of explaining the same issues over and over again to people who don’t care to actually listen. I’ve had three different doctors (3 different therapist/ 3 different psychiatrist) since 2020 when this situation started , I explained so many times that I was fearful my panic attacks would take over my life and I was very much dismissed. I wasn’t diagnosed with PTSD til 2020 because of false information given to my doctors as a minor (when I first started having panic attacks) by my other abusive parent. I was given a therapist to help work through the anxiety I was feeling only to have her dismissed by my mother after the third meeting. I always wonder if I was able to get the proper care back then if I would even be in this situation, if all the abusive and trauma that I had went through then was disclosed when asked I might have gotten the proper diagnosis. It’s so frustrating and I can feel myself getting angrier as the days go by, as more issues are found and the more my disorders get dismissed. I’m losing myself in the fear and anger that is my life now and I hate it. #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #PTSD #BingeEatingDisorder #PanicAttacks #ChronicDepression #tired #MentalHealth #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

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    Drowning.

    I feel alone. I’m not too sure what to do anymore, I keep trying just for the world to show me how insignificant I am.

    I have severe mental disorders, I’ve stopped being able to care for myself , I’m terrified to leave my home. I have panic attacks regularly and feel like I’m being suffocated with all the grief and hopelessness I feel. This has been going on at this severity for two years now, I’ve reached out for help so many times. Had to try to work from home and was not stable enough to keep that up. I have a disability trial going , with a judge that does not believe that I’m severe enough to be disabled , even with a massive paper trail of proof that this is getting worse and in a hurry. I’ve worked all my life up until this point just to have a complete mental breakdown and be abandoned by my family and friends. I’m scared , I don’t want to keep living like this, I’m struggling to get assistance I’ve called every number there is to call and it’s another dead end. I was almost evicted last week, and it has made me spiral yet again. All the hard work I’ve put in, to be nearly evicted due to a almost tripled electric bill that isn’t high from my violation. It’s hard to talk about with anyone , it’s embarrassing and people don’t understand what it’s like to have your mind torture you. It’s always I’m too young , get a hobby , take a walk. I haven’t been out of my house in months, I haven’t been to a grocery store in a year. My very dedicated fiancé has taken very good care of me and has helped in any way he can, but when is his break? He didn’t ask for this. I feel like I’m making everything worse for everyone , I use to be so capable and now I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror. I don’t know why I chose to post this , I’m not sure any will see it but I just needed even just a second to get it off my chest. #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #CPTSD #BingeEatingDisorder

    9 comments
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    Escaping dark corners of the mind

    What do you do when you need to escape from life? To keep your mind from going to dark places? I would welcome suggestions for hobbies.

    #question #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #BingeEatingDisorder #ADHD

    22 comments
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    I don't think I can make a dent in progress toward recovery unless I go to residential treatment. #BingeEatingDisorder #PTSD

    I doubt I'll make any good choices staying where I am, outpatient, only going to dietitians and therapy 2-3 times a month. I'll just keep bingeing, spending money recklessly, and get bigger and bigger. My quality of life isn't all that good right now. Maybe it's time. But I don't hear many stories about people's experiences in residential with BED. Also, what if I'm laughed at and told that even binge eating disorder patients don't get as heavy as I am and I should go away? Eating disorders always make one question if they're sick enough.

    2 comments