Binge Eating Disorder

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My caregivers body shame me and my caregivers invade my privacy when i talk to my boyfriend too

I dont mean to be fat i dont want to have a binge eating disorder its hard for me to lose weight and exercise when i am in a wheelchair and cant walk and i wish my caregivers would leave me and my boyfriend alone

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The Best Candidate for Yourself

I took two days off of work and saw 7 doctors on that time frame.

Time off of work for me isn’t for rest, it’s to stay healthy.

I am officially at the heaviest weight I have ever been and I’m a little scared I won’t fit into my wedding dress.

My cardiologist looked at me and told me, “I need you to help me. I need you to exercise and eat heart healthy/gluten free”

Now this next line, I believe can be applied to a lot of areas of our lives.

“I need you to be an advocate for yourself and be the best candidate for your health…”

Of course, she was referring to me needing a heart valve replacement.

But I believe she’s right. I’m young enough that I haven’t caused any lifelong- serious damage, I’m not morbidly obese. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke.

So yesterday I started walking. Just walking. Because lupus loves to seize my calves and muscles.

Today, I start eating better and cutting out those added sugars.

I recognize that I have built several unhealthy habits around food and my lack of exercise. But that ends now. I need to be the best candidate for my valve replacement. I need to be the best me.

#Mitralvalveprolapse #Lupus #AntiphospholipidSyndrome #Bipolar1 #MentalHealth #BingeEatingDisorder

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HELLO!

I’m an Asian woman, 54, living on the west coast. I have BPD, Bipolar/schitzoeffective, anxiety disorder, maj depression and now I find out ADHD/autism. I’m dealing with a lot and it’s overwhelming. I’ve been melting down and I think this is me acknowledging my neurodivergence. I’m confused and feel empty a lot and my friends are few and the ones I have are starting to yell at me for not doing stuff right and I can’t be abused anymore. I lived that way for 50 years. It’s enough. Please reach out. Love to meet some of you.

#BDD #AutismSpectrum #Bipolar1 #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #MajorDepression #MentalHealth #AnorexiaNervosa #BingeEatingDisorder

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PUTTING IT BACK TOGETHER

I came here seeking support but now I say we may mention anything so I’ll also say that I am a dyed in the Woll creative with almost every creative field under my belt. I’m looking for remote work in a design, food concept, food stylist, photography, copy writing, socials branding and content and more… #Work #bpdcreative #Depression #BingeEatingDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar1 #BipolarDepression

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Invisible Illness, Invisible Struggle

Lately I feel like Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde/Dr Jekyll on Speed. And it just seems to keep going… like I’m so tired of not knowing how I’m going to feel when I wake up. What do you do when you start to become a stranger to yourself?
It’s not “supposed” to go like this, I’ve done all the studying and the extra reading and the research and this is not what I signed up (ok I didn’t sign on for any of it but still). Isn’t it supposed to be short periods of altered moods with periods of “normal” moods in between.

So why the f*ck have I felt amazing, terrible, amazingly-terrible multiple times throughout the last few days? Am I now having rapid cycling mixed episodes because that basically an urban legend making it incredibly difficult to treat.

I hate this illness and what it’s robbed me of. I feel so helpless because I don’t know anyone who’s been through this type of Bipolar Disorder to ask them how to cope.

I’m filled with shame- ashamed I can’t just “push past it” like I’ve been able to at most other time in my life, ashamed of how much I’ve lost, and really deeply ashamed of how sometimes I feel like I have to fight to adjust my perspective and still be able to care, either more or less, about things or people.

After years of being dismissed, I once had someone who was trying to be supportive and understanding say to me “I think I get it now- I just have to remind myself it’s like you have cancer, you can’t help it and didn’t ask for it”.

Except, it’s not cancer. I don’t know what it’s like to have cancer bc cancer is a completely different illness. But it was the only thing the person could relate it to bc since mental health is so taboo, stigmatized, and barely understood. You can’t “see” it, so it either must not be there or must not be serious.

I think my mood started to lift after having surgery because there were visible scars. For the first time, I had people ask me how I was was doing, how I was feeling, if I needed something- showing genuine concern without the undercurrent of annoyance or feeling like the help is unwarranted, that I’m underserving, a burden.

I feel like I wake up everyday fighting an invisible battle, and not able to identify my comrades in arms because we fly no flags.
#Bipolar1 #invisiblebattle #MentalHealth #Anxiety #PTSD #BingeEatingDisorder #VNS

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I just want to disappear

I just want to curl up in a ball and become invisible and then disappear. I loathe every thing about me. I feel so useless and a burden. I hate that my husband has to deal with me. He has enough to deal with his 91 yr old ailing father. I try to keep my feelings hidden and disassociate from everything around me. I want to sleep and not wake up. I don't want to hurt my husband but I know he would be better off without me to worry about. I'm fat. I'm lazy. I say the wrong things. I'm always in pain so I can't clean my house. I don't have any friends. I wasn't able to have children. My husband's girls barely tolerate me. I'm sure they are embarrassed of me. I don't like leaving the house. I looked up poisonous hemlock and if grows where I live. I pretty sure it grows on the side of the road near my house. I have tons of medication I can take. It would be so easy and an end to the pain and constant hatred of myself. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BackPain #ChronicPain #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #BingeEatingDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

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Young Adult Books That Have Characters With Eating Disorders

*This post may be triggering to anyone who has eating disorders, binge eating disorder, bulimia, anorexia nervosa, etc. or who has attempted suicide.

When people have a health challenge that is highly stigmatized, it is very easy to feel alone. My intention in posting this list was to help people by letting them know others go through similar challenges with eating.

1. “Wintergirls” by Laurie Halse Anderson
Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in fragile bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the thinnest. But then Cassie suffers the ultimate loss—her life—and Lia is left behind, haunted by her friend's memory, and feeling guilty for not being able to help save her. In her most powerfully moving novel since “Speak”, award-winning author Laurie Halse Anderson explores Lia's struggle, her painful path to recovery, and her desperate attempts to hold on to the most important thing of all—hope.

2. “Paperweight” by Meg Haston
Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoid. Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment. But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long. There are only twenty-seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death—the death she caused. And if Stevie gets her way, there are only twenty-seven days until she too will end her life.

3. “Purge” by Sarah Darer Littman
Janie Ryman hates throwing up. So why does she binge eat and then stick her fingers down her throat several times a day? That’s what the doctors and psychiatrists at Golden Slopes hope to help her discover. But first Janie must survive everyday conflicts between the Barfers and the Starvers, attempts by the head psychiatrist to fish painful memories out of her emotional waters, and shifting friendships and alliances among the kids in the ward.

4. “What I Lost” by Alexandra Ballard
What sixteen-year-old Elizabeth has lost so far: forty pounds, four jean sizes, a boyfriend, and her peace of mind. As a result, she’s finally a size zero. She’s also the newest resident at Wallingfield, a treatment center for girls like her—girls with eating disorders. Elizabeth is determined to endure the program so she can go back home, where she plans to start restricting her food intake again. She’s pretty sure her mom, who has her own size 0 obsession, needs treatment as much as she does. Maybe even more. Then Elizabeth begins receiving mysterious packages. Are they from her ex-boyfriend, a secret admirer, or someone playing a cruel trick?

Please do not read if this triggers you. As always, if you need/want to discuss anything, please reach out. 🤍

#themightyreaders #EatingDisorders #BingeEatingDisorder #BulimiaNervosa #AnorexiaNervosa #BodyDysmorphicDisorder

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