Binge Eating Disorder

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Binge Eating Disorder
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    Is it wrong to feel bitter?

    Lately I’ve been noticing that I’m so angry, I don’t feel listened to and when I do speak up things get so trivialized. I had an older emergency room visit summary pop up in my email and I read the notes and it’s not at all what was happening at that time. That actively hurts my records , my case , even seeing new doctors that look and come to the conclusion that I’m just being dramatic. I’m tired of explaining the same issues over and over again to people who don’t care to actually listen. I’ve had three different doctors (3 different therapist/ 3 different psychiatrist) since 2020 when this situation started , I explained so many times that I was fearful my panic attacks would take over my life and I was very much dismissed. I wasn’t diagnosed with PTSD til 2020 because of false information given to my doctors as a minor (when I first started having panic attacks) by my other abusive parent. I was given a therapist to help work through the anxiety I was feeling only to have her dismissed by my mother after the third meeting. I always wonder if I was able to get the proper care back then if I would even be in this situation, if all the abusive and trauma that I had went through then was disclosed when asked I might have gotten the proper diagnosis. It’s so frustrating and I can feel myself getting angrier as the days go by, as more issues are found and the more my disorders get dismissed. I’m losing myself in the fear and anger that is my life now and I hate it. #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #PTSD #BingeEatingDisorder #PanicAttacks #ChronicDepression #tired #MentalHealth #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder



    I feel alone. I’m not too sure what to do anymore, I keep trying just for the world to show me how insignificant I am.

    I have severe mental disorders, I’ve stopped being able to care for myself , I’m terrified to leave my home. I have panic attacks regularly and feel like I’m being suffocated with all the grief and hopelessness I feel. This has been going on at this severity for two years now, I’ve reached out for help so many times. Had to try to work from home and was not stable enough to keep that up. I have a disability trial going , with a judge that does not believe that I’m severe enough to be disabled , even with a massive paper trail of proof that this is getting worse and in a hurry. I’ve worked all my life up until this point just to have a complete mental breakdown and be abandoned by my family and friends. I’m scared , I don’t want to keep living like this, I’m struggling to get assistance I’ve called every number there is to call and it’s another dead end. I was almost evicted last week, and it has made me spiral yet again. All the hard work I’ve put in, to be nearly evicted due to a almost tripled electric bill that isn’t high from my violation. It’s hard to talk about with anyone , it’s embarrassing and people don’t understand what it’s like to have your mind torture you. It’s always I’m too young , get a hobby , take a walk. I haven’t been out of my house in months, I haven’t been to a grocery store in a year. My very dedicated fiancé has taken very good care of me and has helped in any way he can, but when is his break? He didn’t ask for this. I feel like I’m making everything worse for everyone , I use to be so capable and now I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror. I don’t know why I chose to post this , I’m not sure any will see it but I just needed even just a second to get it off my chest. #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #CPTSD #BingeEatingDisorder


    Escaping dark corners of the mind

    What do you do when you need to escape from life? To keep your mind from going to dark places? I would welcome suggestions for hobbies.

    #question #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #BingeEatingDisorder #ADHD


    I don't think I can make a dent in progress toward recovery unless I go to residential treatment. #BingeEatingDisorder #PTSD

    I doubt I'll make any good choices staying where I am, outpatient, only going to dietitians and therapy 2-3 times a month. I'll just keep bingeing, spending money recklessly, and get bigger and bigger. My quality of life isn't all that good right now. Maybe it's time. But I don't hear many stories about people's experiences in residential with BED. Also, what if I'm laughed at and told that even binge eating disorder patients don't get as heavy as I am and I should go away? Eating disorders always make one question if they're sick enough.


    My Scale Gave Up the Ghost

    180 pounds it watched me lose. Over years of time. And the last week it’s been funky. Giving me added 20 pounds to my weight overnight. Tonight the scale have me 3 vastly different numbers in a single time frame. 30 pounds difference. So now I’m giving it a Viking funeral…. Jk lol I can’t it’s glass. But I do need to finally replace it. And I’m broke so this’ll be… frustrating.

    #BingeEatingDisorder #CPTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder


    Who the hell buys 20 chocolate bars???? Yesterday I bought one and I remembered there being tons of them. Like they had just be restocked! Today? None! All out! Who the hell can eat 20 chocolate bars???? I buy those bars because of the amount/calorie ratio. I don’t keep them in the house because I’m a recovered binge eater. Thid works well for me. So when someone buy ALL of them when my Walmart can’t even keep food on the shelf to begin with???? 😡 excuse me I’m going to go throw a tantrum. I’m pmsing, I’m pissed, and I’m not sorry damn it! I’ve had a week from hell! I would just like ONE thing to go my way! ONE!

    #CPTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #BingeEatingDisorder #WomensHealth


    Tips for Beating BED

    Or in other words things I changed to beat my own Binge Eating Disorder.

    1. I stopped buying food in plural servings that I like. So yes a lot of my food is designed for kids lunches lol. But it works really well.
    2. If I can’t control myself around something I keep it out of the house period and buy a single serving from time to time.
    3. Counting calories so I know exactly how much I’m eating.
    4. Understanding my brain is trained to eat a certain way and binging is a separate issue from healthy eating best dealt with alone.
    5. Time. I schedule my eating periods with a particular gap of 3 hours between them.
    6. Keepin busy. I have to do something besides sitting in front of the tv. That’s a proven way to end up binging. Like video games, reading, writing, music, and crafts… I also smoke 😬
    7. Make sure other in your home understand the seriousness of your condition. It’s hard to stay devoted to recovery if you’re constantly asked if you’d like to partake in their bad habits.
    8. Make sure others in your home understand your grocery rules and support them by not buying things for themselves that would be hard for you.
    9. Go to therapy and work your issues that got you here!

    That’s all I got folks! :)



    Half my size

    So bought some new clothes today and got my eye brows waxed. Also I guy checked me out. :)

    Also saw my psychiatrist who interrogated me due to my past with anorexia. After anorexia I had binge eating disorder and became 280 pounds. Now I’m skinny mini. Wasn’t fun though. Was irritating. Told her I was going back to therapy. The therapist does EMDR and since 15 years of therapy have failed me she’s hoping EMDR will help.

    To be fair 15 years of therapy I didn’t know I had CPTSD so… perhaps we weren’t working on the right things. Also therapist vary WIDELY in value. You know what I mean.

    #PTSD #CPTSD #Trauma #Abuse #AnorexiaNervosa #BingeEatingDisorder #emdr



    I am in a viscious cycle and have been for a while. I am losing control in my social, study and work life and as a result have felt the need to control My mood swings by going through the drive through which then leads to me not going grocery shopping and saying I’m not eating for a week and the cycle continues. I got to guilty for my birthday (which was Sunday) where I was constantly offered food I felt like I had to eat or order something despite feeling I’ll or not feeling hungry. I ended up asking my parents for their leftover optislim packets because I felt disgusting. I don’t know where to start to get back to healthy. The start of this year I wasn’t eating anything bad one piece of toasted gf bread with nothing on it and lost 10kg. I am back to being heavier than I was when I started this year. I don’t know where to go or how to fix this and I feel like a complete failure. I feel worse than when I got the diagnosis. Physically, emotionally, psychologically and digestively I am not coping. What do I do and where do I go? I am completely overwhelmed and there’s no step by step guide here


    Stigmas surrounding eating disorders makes it even harder for people to heal.

    It took me a while to realize that my schedule and daily plans all evolved around how many calories I was eating/drinking, and that realization was a bit concerning. When 'making progress' meant I was now able to go out and eat in a restaurant or drink outside with my friends, that's when I knew something was off: I was struggling with a problem I couldn't identify and I had no idea why or how I ended up like that.

    Some behaviors such as obsessively counting calories every day by tracking each food and its macros (and feeling anxious if you don't), avoiding social situations not to drink too many calories or eat "junk food", eating the same every day and not being able to bear with changes (having your 'safe food/safe products), weighting both yourself and your food every day or multiple times a week, these are all symptoms of an eating disorder (sidenote: I do not intend to diagnose anyone, it's just for context).

    When we think of 'eating disorder', most of us have a certain idea of how someone struggling with it might look like: most of the times, it's either the very thin person or the very heavy one, no in-between. Although these characteristics might be true in many scenarios, they are absolutely not the only ones. Anybody can struggle with one, regardless of your weight, size and shape, and this is something I wasn't aware of, which is exactly what invalidated my daily struggle. I didn't look like someone struggling with an eating disorder or how they portray it on the media, so nobody could really tell something was wrong with my behavior, not even myself!

    This is a reminder that if you feel that you're anxious all the time about what you're going to eat next, if food worries you too much and you feel like your life might be changing or even depending on it, if you can't stop thinking about it, or if you're constantly body checking, please ask for help or talk about it. I know it's hard to do so, specially with these stigmas or people trying to tell you "you look healthier now", and it might be even harder to share it if it's something you're not sure of (undiagnosed or mild symptoms). My inbox is open to chat if you feel like you're ready to share, and so is the comment section so we can all support each other. Stay strong!

    #EatingDisorders #Anxiety #Depression #CheckInWithMe #Cheermeup #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #Bulimia #BingeEatingDisorder