I did a thing! Terrified!
I did something today so major, so big that I'm still spinning from it.
I quit my job today, yes I quit my job!
I was diagnosed with RRMS last May, I've been In crappy shape even before the diagnosis. But even after the diagnosis and feeling the worst I've ever felt health wise, I kept on working, with just 1 week off from my first hospital stay from my diagnosis, with optic neuritis, partial blindness, severe pain and dead smack in the middle of my first major flare up, my ass went back to work after 1 week. I went back to my 10 hour a day, no breaks, crazy stressful pharmacy job. I lasted 5 more months before I just couldn't do it anymore.
So I went straight from there to a bank teller job, which where it wasn't physically straining, it was every bit of stressful and mentally exhausting.
I've lasted there 6 months, until I just cried my eyes out this evening to my husband. I told him I'm tired of giving my energy and what little I have in me daily to places that could care less about me or my health, instead of giving it to my kids and him. The ones who deserve to have me at my best for as long as they can. He has been pushing me to start trying to get my SSDI. So he looked at me and said I love you, and I want you to be ok for as long as your body allows. I want you to put you first for once and not worry about money or worry about giving up on working. He told me to give all my worries to him to figure out, that I've fought long and hard enough and to for once think of myself.
So I did just that. I texted my boss and told her I was no longer coming back, dropped my keys in the night deposit box, and felt a load of weight off my shoulders dissappear. Am I scared? Yes! Am I uncertain? Yes! Do I know what I'm getting myself in to? No! But I believe God has me in his hands and will see us through, because he knows too that I need to rest and my kiddos need a mom who can be all in , instead of sick all the time. And my husband needs his wife back. I can't keep pouring from a empty cup. Please pray for me to step off of this unknown and to do it as bravely as I can. Also, anyone who has applied or have gotten their SSDI off of their work points, how difficult was it? How long did it take? I'm going to be getting a lawyer to help me. I live in Kentucky.
#MultipleSclerosis