Depressive Disorders

my history with the Death changes me in multiple ways. despite all the sorrows of it, i also gained experience and learned lessons that turned me more strength to survive, for me and for my brother, and for that i’m grateful for. occasionally, admittedly, i still grieve over the life that i could have if only Death didn’t knock on my door back then in that august of 2019. i let the “what ifs” dominated my thoughts for so long, but i know now that it would only make me stuck in the bottom of that deep dark well forever. so, until i can find a way to get out, i need, if not for myself, for them who still care, to survive and try again.

Death is still somewhere in my mind, keeping me company. however, until my second death comes one day, i am gonna look at it in the eyes, and say: “not today, satan”

#MentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDepression #DepressiveDisorders #Addiction #FamilyAndFriends

Feeling …. Exactly that nothing . Have an inevitable cloud that’s been hanging around for the last couple of years. Getting harder to see the light in the lining. Stuck. Social life is non existent. Relationship is like a rock stuck in a stream. Work is driving me insane- not the work load but the people. Major communication issues in the place and my personality with my drive does not function well in the environment. Therapy helps some but spend more time talking about others than my own issues. Processing and handling things is an extreme high and I get worked up or it’s no existent and I’ve lost the ability to care. Body is the same , different days different pains . #MentalHealth #MixedConnectiveTissueDiseaseMCTD #RaynaudsPhenomenon #AutonomicDysfunction #ChronicFatigue #Anxiety #DepressiveDisorders #RheumatoidArthritis

I hate my sisters and my mother

they went to far

im tired of this

#DepressiveDisorders #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #EatingDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation

Hi, my name is BunnyKitty453. I'm here because

#MightyTogether #EatingDisorder #ADHD #Anxiety #DepressiveDisorders

I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was 15 or 16.

I still don’t know how or why it began.

That moment marked the start of an invisible war within me—

a quiet, persistent pain that no one could see.

From the outside, everything seemed fine.

But on the inside, I was drowning in something I couldn’t explain.

Those thoughts lingered for years, always in the background,

whispering in moments of weakness,

trying to surface when I was most vulnerable.

I tried twice to leave this world. I didn’t succeed.

And whether that was unfortunate or fortunate, I don’t know.

But I’ve carried the weight of depression, anxiety, and a deep sense of worthlessness ever since.

There were times when the idea of “peace”

felt like the only way to end a pain I couldn’t name.

Even though life around me was "normal,"

my mind remained a dark, relentless storm.

I remember once, someone told me,

“If you really wanted to die, you would have succeeded.”

At the time, I felt rage—

how could they say that? They had no idea.

No idea what it’s like to wake up every day

battling a voice that tells you you don’t belong.

But looking back, maybe they were partially right.

Because deep down, I didn’t want to die—

I just wanted the pain to stop.

Over the years, I tried to heal in different ways.

There were still moments when that thought crept back in,

always lurking,

waiting for an opening.

And I kept asking myself:

Why do I feel this way?

What am I running from?

Why is it always dark?

Later, I learned my mother had suffered from severe depression and bipolar disorder.

And something about knowing that helped.

It wasn’t all my fault.

Maybe my brain was wired this way.

Maybe this was more than just me being "weak."

That realization gave me space to breathe.

And somehow, after all these years—

I don’t know how or when—

something shifted.

It wasn’t a loud change.

It was a quiet, sudden click.

One day, I simply thought:

I don’t want to die anymore.

I want to live.

I want to see more.

I want to feel the light.

And slowly—bit by bit—

the light began to shine through the cracks of my broken mind.

The thoughts that haunted me for so long?

They’re gone now.

And I don’t know how I survived… but I did.

I wish I could show others the way out—

but I know healing is personal.

It’s a fight that only you can face.

Still, if you’re reading this,

if you’re still here,

then please believe this:

There is still a crack in the darkness.

And through that crack,

a light is waiting to shine.

“This is something I’ve carried for a long time. I’m not sharing for sympathy—I’m sharing because I know someone else might need to know they’re not alone.”

#MentalHealth #DepressiveDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

👋 all I have been a part of the mighty since early 2017 when I was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation type 1 and Syringomylia. Rheumatoid, and hyper Thyroid issues run in the family along with other autoimmune disorders, dupitrins contractions and planter fashitis (pretty thats mispelked). We also have Mental health or personality disorders as well.

I didn't ever really come on here till now. After having my son in 2021 I developed severe postpartum depression. It eventually disappeared on its own kinda, it just lessened to depression.I was battleing addiction that had started because of my Chiari diagnosis and decompression surgery. In summer of 2022 i got clean and stayed clean. I went to a psychologist who was in the company of my rehab/general therapist. I was diagnosed with general anxiety, social anxiety, depression, bipolar, and having borderline personality disorder traits. I have recently VERY recently got away from trauma and abuse. I am almost 💯sure I have C-PTSD. Are there other forms of trauma bonding, abuse, PTSD out there what are common symptoms? I have something really weird going on and I dont even know how to really explain it . It i don't know if it's a symptoms concerning my Chiari and surgery site or if its a mental, psychological issue from the trauma. Any similar backgrounds out there? Even not general answers would be appreciated as well. Thnx everyone.

#ArnoldChiariMalformation , #ChiariMalformation , #Syringomyelia #autoimmune Disorders #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #DepressiveDisorders #BipolarDepression #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #behavioralhealth #Trauma #symptoms #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #mental #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder ##Nightmares #MoodDisorders #SocialAnxiety #OtherMentalHealth #neuro

I was doing okay. I'm not doing okay, 10 days of this anxious/depressive episode, i'm going through every day in a haze, I feel so lost.#Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #DepressiveDisorders