Addison's Disease

This is the first full chapter of my life story. I'm sharing it not to seek pity, but because I know what it's like to feel completely alone. If even one person sees themselves in my words, then writing this is worth it.

I am not going to spend weeks or even days going into why I am here today. The first post is going to be an intro into how my childhood went, where my life went wrong and give you some tidbits of what to expect in my stories going forward. So here it is, this is my life in a very short story.

Let me start by saying, I am no writer. At times, my grammar will confuse you and my spelling will likely scare you. Heck, sometimes I might even ramble, like I am right now. But I promise you one thing, I will always be genuine. I want to help you by sharing. I will never use AI to write stories for me or to edit my work. I am just a 40 year old average guy who has been dealt a below average life of chronic illness, anxiety, OCD and severe depression. I have spent most of it hiding away from the world out of anger. Now I want to come out of my hiding to give back to those like me. So let me start out at the beginning.

I was born in Quebec. And no, I don't speak French. Be happy for that. My family moved to Ontario when I was 6, so please don't hate on me for not learning! My childhood was one of a mixed bag. On one hand, I had a mother who loved me, but was timid and soft spoken. Then you had my oversized father, the chronic gambler with a hair trigger of a temper. Some weekends, he would be cheering me on for the homeruns I hit. The next, he would be destroying our home out of anger because of the balls I missed. I never saw him much as a kid. I would go to school and when I came home, he would go out to gamble. I had some good moments with my dad when he wasn't gambling, but that wasn't very often. My dad had three kids, myself, my sister and his favorite, the bingo hall. Let's just say he is the reason for a lot of my issues, but lets not give him that much time or credit today. To sum up my childhood. My sister and I were not close. She moved out at the age of 16. I moved out at the age of 17. That alone should be enough of a teaser to tell you that I have many more stories to come. Hopefully you can relate to them. But for now, lets move onto the next stage of my life.

I move out at 17, scared and broke. I move into the worst building in the worst area, as this is all I can afford. This leads to stories of police raids, cockroaches, fleas and basically the plague all over again. It was a terrible experience, but I was safe and out of my home environment. Well, safe if you don't count the rodents, insects and drug addicts that constantly felt like my home was a shared space. I went on to survive on my own with multiple jobs and completed college as a Computer Programmer in 2007. I fell in love and moved to Toronto. I started my career as a Systems Analyst at a large Canadian Bank. I bought my first house at age 21 and was engaged in the same year. Life was flying by and I was loving it. Then, as almost a way of god telling me to slow down, he put a huge stop sign in front of me.

About two months after buying my house. And yes, this was before you had to sell a kidney just to afford a shed that needs $1 million in repairs. Those two months were the best of my life, but I barely remember them. From this point on, I kept passing out and hitting my head. I suffered over ten concussions during the next two years. Eventually I had to go on a feeding tube because I dropped from 170lbs down to 90lbs. I am 6'10" just for reference. Ok Ok, I am 5'10", I did say no lies. Still, that is not much weight for my size. The feeding tube lasted over a year and I also spent six months in and out of the hospital due to sepsis and other complications. I will have many details to come, but here are the main facts. I was diagnosed with Refractory Celiac Disease Type 1 which basically means I have to eat GF, but will not get better without long term steroid use, which has killed my body. I was then diagnosed with Addison's Disease (look up JFK for a celebrity match) and Hypopituitary due to head injuries. I had a pacemaker put in during my early 20's due to heart sinus node failure. I suffer severe migraines due to long term post concussion issues. Through this he** on earth, I developed severe depression, anxiety, OCD, and complete social shut down. My fiancé left me in 2013 while I was in the hospital. I came out to an empty home. On Sept 14, 2013, I lost my fiancé, my career, my house, my pets and my purpose in life. I moved back home to live with my parents that the same month. I sold my house and cut ties to any glimpse of my old world. It was on this very day that I stopped living.

That leads me to where I am today. Since 2013 I have lived a stagnant life. The only thing that has changed is my health and my medication list. I am now taking ten medications and five injections monthly to keep me alive. The more I cut off my friends and the world, the worse I become. I spent the last 12 years living in a 10" x 10" bedroom, just surviving. I have been to the lowest points of the earth and back. I have felt alone and scared. I have stories that haunt me and one that make me smile. I want to share them with the world. I don't want anybody to go through what I went though. I don't want anybody to feel like they are alone. I want everyone reading my stories to know that we all deserve to be more than just alive, we deserve to be happy. I hope I can also take back from my listeners and to continue learning. I need you as much as you need me. Let's go on this journey together.

With all my love and support,

Adam

*** My blogs are meant to just give a glimpse into the life of somebody who has been held back by mental health his whole life. It is not here for medical advice. It is only here for you to read and hopefully relate to. If you have any questions, I am always here. As always. You deserve more than just a life, you deserve a happy one. ***

There is More talk about Self-Care than the Most Critical Key to Happiness and Great Relationships of all types——-“SELF-LOVE”.

With this in-depth look at what Self-Love looks like-for your own personal growth, I would like you to take an honest look inwards and determine if you Practice Self-Love.
If you’re not, or if you’re not doing all of the bullet points given below, don’t worry— “Each morning, we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”

As always, let’s have a great conversation about this topic below 👇 in the comments where you can use this space for your own place in your mental wellness journey. Not your mental illness journey— I am here as a friend to guide you through to the other side as much as possible—yes, that is where I stand, and the magic only happens if you let me—so how about more group members join in for your sake.

The Mighty friends that have opened themselves up to this opportunity are telling me and showing me that they are really starting to get it, and they are taking bigger, new, determined steps in their lives.

"Self-Love" refers to a deeper internal state of accepting and valuing yourself unconditionally, while "self-care" focuses on taking practical actions to maintain your physical and mental wellbeing, like getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and engaging in activities you enjoy; essentially, self-love is the mindset that drives you to practice self-care. Self-Love is the mindset too that heals the pain and keeps you in the light, Determined to keep pushing away any darkness and to stop doubting yourself.

Key points to remember:
* Self-love:
* A feeling of intrinsic worth and acceptance, regardless of circumstances
* Becoming your own best friend - treating yourself with the same respect and understanding you would give a close friend.
* Be the love you never received.
* Includes embracing your flaws
* Foundation for setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your needs
* learn to say no when needed and clearly explain why
* Don’t seek Anyone’s validation
* Positive self-talk: Use encouraging language to speak to yourself, focusing on your strengths and accomplishments.
* Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, recognizing negative self-talk and actively replacing it with positive affirmations/relabel upsetting thoughts
* Say something nice to yourself in the mirror — looking into your eyes & smile at yourself & say “I love you”and your name. (Yes, I actually stop myself to do this & it’s Wonderful)
* cultivate self-compassion
* Encourage Yourself
* Talk to someone you trust who *Has The Capacity To Listen*-and, Another Big Key Here is that ***Being vulnerable - completely honest and thorough- about what you’re going through with someone else is a major form of self-love because you’re taking the time to dig deep, regardless of how uncomfortable it is, And, on top of that, you’re showing yourself that you want to work out whatever’s going on with you***
* avoid comparing yourself to others
* practice gratitude
* Seek out opportunities for growth
* Creating a safe zone all your own is an act of self-love because it gives you a designated area where you can focus on your needs and emotions instead of other people’s. The key here is creating a space that feels good and peaceful when life is neither of those things.
#MentalHealth #Mindfulness #Selflove #Selfcare #Selfharm #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Trauma #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Agoraphobia #BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #EatingDisorder #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #LymeDisease #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #AutonomicDysfunction #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #Deafness #ADHDInGirls #ADHD #AspergersSyndrome #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Addiction #CerebralPalsy #IntellectualDisability #Disability #Blindness #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Migraine #IfYouFeelHopeless #BrainInjury #MotorDisorders #MultipleSclerosis #RheumatoidArthritis #Arthritis #Grief #Loneliness #AnorexiaNervosa #Relationships #SocialAnxiety #FamilyAndFriends #Caregiving #CrohnsDisease #CysticFibrosis #AlopeciaAreata #Cancers #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #ParkinsonsDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #Stroke #Diabetes #SelfharmRecovery #RareDisease #DownSyndrome #AddisonsDisease #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsivePersonalityDisorder #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

Simply remember or find/Google/ask Alexa or Siri……a line or part of a line from a song or a song title that was written for Empowering all of us.

You are welcome to add in even just one. This is easy because it is not even your words that you are adding in or articulating. The words have been given to us.

For example: I often think of this part of line from a song: “I am going to dance on broken glass.”

And this part song title, part of a line of the lyrics:
“Better Days are coming, if no one told you.”

And this longer one section of another great song:
“DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK THAT I COULD BE;
I'M THE ONE AT THE SAIL
I'M THE MASTER OF MY SEA.”

And this small section of a song that I hold close to my heart:
“Just remember who you are; how you were never one for folding; how you never liked the corner; how the dark don’t even know you.”

Let’s Go Big on this one.

Let’s make this a holiday gift you can give for free that could be exactly what Many others need Right Now.

This ties in with the image I chose for this because we are going to be taking inspiration from Christopher Reeve aka Superman in the 1978 film who famously said "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles".

So, I say YOU are a hero.

One of our Mighty family with a boatload of reasons to question this quote and anything, just a couple days ago, found, and in a way, smartly challenged my about 4 months old post with Christopher Reeve’s other famous quote “Once you choose hope, anything is possible.”

So, if you know anything about me, you know I accepted this challenge to help her and to help even more of us.

So I went to work for all of us— researching and drafting an impactful reply (and I can at times put hours into this work for all of us.)
Because YOU are worth fighting for.

So, I researched how he could say these profoundly optimistic and empowering statements when he, Christopher Reeve, a former role model to the world as Superman, was paralyzed from the neck down after a horse riding accident at age 42. His mother wanted doctors to remove his life support, because she thought that he wouldn’t want to live like this, but he fought back.

So the meaning to his quote about HOPE is: Hope, in this sense, is a decision. It is the most important decision we can make.

This choice of Hope also is not just wishful thinking, it has to be rooted in a Believing, it must be in the form of Optimism, and it must be held together by handing it over to a trust in ourselves, a trust in the universe having our back, to any form of spirituality that does not even need to be religion based faith.

Absolutely Right Now, All of Our Mighty Family Needs help with feeling Empowered to be Hopeful and Optimistic And YOU can be a hero and participate in this mission that is greater than all of us, greater than our own social anxieties, greater than our own fears and doubts, greater than our fatigue…

Whenever you see this post, especially through the rest of the entire holidays —All of them coming up for all denominations and through and past New Years…add in a line or part of a line from a song, or a song title, that was written for Empowering all of us. That was written to speak to all of us. To Connect All of Us.

GAME ON.

GAME FACE.

YOUR friend in this hard thing called life,
Dawn

#Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #MoodDisorders #Selfharm #Selfcare #Grief #ChildLoss #BipolarDisorder #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ChronicPain #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #PTSD #Trauma #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #AlopeciaAreata #AutoimmuneThyroidDisease #CrohnsDisease #AdrenalInsufficiency #AutonomicDysfunction #Cancers #LymeDisease #Migraine #ParkinsonsDisease #MultipleSclerosis #RareDisease #ADHD #BipolarDepression #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #AutismSpectrumDisorder #AspergersSyndrome #Addiction #CerebralPalsy #RheumatoidArthritis #Arthritis #Disability #AddisonsDisease #ChronicIllness #CysticFibrosis #DownSyndrome #Epilepsy #MyCondition #musictherapy #Music #Songs #MightyMusic #IfYouFeelHopeless #WarmWishes #Agoraphobia #SocialAnxiety