Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

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A journey of a thousand miles #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsivePersonalityDisorder

Roughly 9 years ago I got the tattoo in the picture above. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” That’s the translation from Kanji in to English. The quotation is from Chapter 64 of the Tao Te Ching ascribed to Lao Tzu. The section that is from is as below:

A tree so big it can fill the span of a man's arms
grows from a tiny sprout.
A terrace nine stories high
rises from a shovel-full of earth.
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step.
Thus, one of integral virtue
never sets about grandiose things,
yet is able to achieve great things.

These are simple observations yet incredibly profound. Everything starts from something small. Like a drop of water repeatedly hitting a rock will create a depression over time so to will the practices of healing and self-care we put in place. The key operative word is “time.”

Time
Always moving, always flowing
Never Enough, Always Too Much
The beginning of our life,
The end of our days.
Time

I wrote that in high school and its always struck me how a human construct holds so much sway over our lives. Time after all is an illusion. Something we created to bring order to chaos, but its a paradox. We either never have enough (gotta meet that deadline) or too much (why is this taking so long?) There is never just “enough” time, have you ever noticed that?

“I’m going to be late.”
“We are too early.”
“I don’t have time for that.”
“Quit wasting my time.”

Even when you arrive “right on time” like at the doctors for example, invariably you may end up having to wait. Time consumes everything about our lives because its the measure we use for everything in our lives.

Birth, childhood, adolescents, adulthood, career, marriage, children, dreams, goals, retirement, death and everything in between.

How much time do you actually make for the things that are important in your life? How much time do you make for your healing? How about personal growth? How much time do you make to do things that make you happy? How much time do you make for love? How much time do you procrastinate? (🙋) Most importantly, how much time do you devote to suffering?

The irony is that we can’t make time. It’s finite. Our time here has a fixed beginining and a fixed end. We can however waste time, and thats exactly what I have been doing with my life.

Life is precious. My life, your life, everyone’s life. How much do we really recognize that when it comes to the time we have to be happy, make an impact, do some good in this world? For too many years my mental illness has kept me in the “fog of war” where time doesn’t exist but passes anyway.

John Kabat-Zinn in his book Mindfullness Meditation spoke of a book by the poet David White called “The Heart Aroused”. David works in corporate america trying to get workers back in touch with the essence of their being. In one excerpt he had some people write about their experience and one woman wrote the following:

Ten years ago,
I turned my face for a moment,
And it became my life.

That is one of the most profoundly sad poems I have ever heard and it is the definition my life and I’m guessing many of you can relate.

Today s the day to start that thousand mile journey. Today is the day for that single step. You may not feel like taking it. Take it anyway. Dare to be courageous. When the past comes knocking, when the anxiety comes creeping along. like it does, when the insecurity, the pain, whatever it is comes calling, simply reply. “I don’t have time for you.” You can do this. We can do this.

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Overcoming your fear of rejection

It’s time to get good at getting rejected!

What? That sounds like a terrible idea! If you’re like millions of Americans struggling with social anxiety, then you are probably thinking that there is no way you want to get good at getting rejected. The whole point is to avoid getting reject, right?

I recently came across an inspiring NPR story about a man who decided to turn the rules of life on their head. He had been rejected by his spouse, and started isolating in his apartment and avoiding social contact all together. Like many people, he feared being rejected by others, and thus avoided social contact in order to avoid his anxiety. However, one night in his apartment he finally realized the toll this was taking on his life. He was alone, depressed, and miserable. So, he came up with a creative solution, which, spoiler alert, is exposure therapy!

This man’s idea was to come up with a game to intentionally get rejected as much as possible, in order to overcome his fear of getting rejected. If getting rejected no longer had to be something that he feared, then situations where he may get rejected no longer had to be something that he avoided.

This may sound difficult at first, and it was for this man as well. He compared overcoming his fear of rejection to a story about the fear soldiers experienced having to kill a rabid dog with a spade. Gruesome as it may be, the analogy vividly highlights just how powerful the fear of rejection feels. And yet despite the strength of that fear, it can still be overcome in exactly the way the man describes in the story.

Practice, practice, practice! One must learn that rejection is not death, as our minds may have us believe. Sure, rejection stings, but it does not have to be avoided at all costs. If one is willing to put themselves out there, or intentionally get rejected, one can learn that they can actually handle the feelings and experience of rejection when it comes, and bounce back. And, more importantly, they will now have the freedom to go after the things, people, relationships, jobs, and everything else in life that they want most. You only get one life, it’s time to make the most of it!

Overcoming your fear of rejection - Dr. David Shanley

#MentalHealth #ObsessiveCompulsivePersonalityDisorder

Overcoming your fear of rejection - Dr. David Shanley

Practice, practice, practice! One must learn that rejection is not death, as our minds may have us believe.
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Ten Signs Your Parent Has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

When we think of the word parent, more specifically mothers, what image do you conjure up?

I envision someone who is unconditionally supportive, warm, compassionate, understanding, nurtering, curious, gives a lot of praise, is fun. empathetic, open to new ideas, flexible, have good boundaries, and values their children for who they are and not specifically for what they do. They value their chidlren’s authenticiy and personality.

mothers with OCPD are: detached, cold, rigid, strict, dismissive, abrasive, hard, critical, judgemental, find it hard ot have fun. have little to no empathy, give little praise, and are controlling/domineering. They see the child to be valued only on how successful they are or how much they achieve. The child is a carbon copy, .the next gen of whoever their parents are. Autonomy and independence of the self or self expression is frowned upon.

So often these childre think they’re not good enough and aren’t valued for who they are. The children of said parents often feel like a burden on their parents. They are often subtly told as chidlren, to shut up and go play in the corner, or to go away because ‘mommy’s busy’.

These adult children are then compelled to subconsciously prove theselves in life: i pursuing top level positions in careers ie. CEO, becoming famous in some way and becoming high earners. *Often at the cost to health, relationships, mental welll being, and over-all life satisfaction

The cause of OCPD is a mix of gentics and traumatic environments that the person with OCPD grew up in.

Children who have OCPD parents can relate to these ten things

1. dinner table talk is all about work, work work. How much work they have t odo. What work plans they have. What their coworkers are doing at work. How said coworkers aren’t pulling their weight. Politics, the weather, the eocnomy, technology, and other big mind topics are good and fine too.

But Art? celebrities? pop culture? fashion? creatiivty/imagination? Humanitarian efforts/ eco-consious ideas? that’s so boring.

2. Vacation is like the above. Work may be brought on vacation. Work related stuff like workshops or conferecnes may be part of the vacation journey itsefl. Work mau be the pinnacle of car ride conversaitons. The worries aren’t about flat tires or the price of gas so much as the back to work stress. They worry how much work they’re missing out on, isntead of focussing on enjoying themselves and the people. they’re with.

3.. Rigid ways of doing tasks (things have to be done with certain steps, things have to be folded a certain way, etc). The end goal of just cleaning up or putting things away is lost in the process. They do not like to delegate tasks to others, because they want it done the way they do it. Often they over burden theselves by doing this!

4. hoarding stuff/stocking up on stuff like it’s the year 2000 and everyone thinks everything’s going to shut down completely.

But nothing did and now they have all this stuff and spent all that hard earned money on stuff that will be kept in storage or thrown out…

5.They ‘love’ working

6. Cheap presents for brithday/Christmas. If you want an expensive item, they’ll get you something cheaper. or something you didn’t want If you’re a little older and want a gift card to a store you freqeunt, they’ll give you cash. It’s never what you exactly want, it’s always what they are willing to give.

7. Money is treated like a sacrilige. There’s hardly any quality indulgence. Goods and services are bought for the cheapest price possible. Often

8. Resting or taking time for self care is seen as being ‘lazy’ or ‘unproductive’. People with OCPD view others who don’t do as mcuh as they do in this way.

9. They’re always stressed/anxious because they’re doing so much at once. Children feel like they’re walking on eggshells around these parents. They re waiitng for the other shoe to drop. ‘Just one more thing I have to do!’ is often the motto for these parents. Often these chidlren grow up to have chornic illnesses because their nervous systems are on high alert, jsut waiting or the boiler to break or the car to break down and mom and dad to over react/rage.

10. They’re always unsatfied with the status qou. You have to go higher, aim bigger, do more. There’s no room to be ‘average’. Perfectionism sets in and these adult children are trained to never be satsified with their life. They go to extremes, often times resulting in burn out or chronic illnesses.

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Warning Signs and Possible Causes of a Bipolar Episode

Managing and coping with #BipolarDisorder can be a challenge at times. When I was first diagnosed (in my mid-twenties) I thought I had accepted it, which I realize I really did not. The diagnosis and the treatment plan to be honest went in one ear and out the other. I did do the treatment plan for a while but once I started to feel better, I stopped taking my medication and went back to my old ways. My recovery did not begin till I truly accepted I would have to manage and cope with #BipolarDisorder the rest of my life. My life slowly began to change for the better once this happened. I have become so in tune to my body I can tell the warning signs of a possible episode as soon as my feet hit the floor. I can tell if it is going to be a good day or a bad day. If it is going to be a stormy day, then this would allow me to get ready to use my coping skills. Here is a list of the warning signs for me:

1. Stress: everyone in their life I am sure must deal with some form of stress. If my body is under a lot of stress for a prolonged period whether it be personally or work related or both it can cause a mood swing (usually a #Mania episode). The reason being is my thoughts keep racing and my brain will not shut down (at a rate of a Nascar Race). Then I cannot concentrate and that makes me get frustrated and then my emotions are all over the place. My thoughts are scattered and sometimes even doing the simplest things are hard. Stress can take a toll on my body physically and emotionally.

2. Lack of Sleep– because my mind is racing so much, I do not sleep well at all. Sometimes, I will not sleep for 24 hours and this can cause a possible #Mania episode. If I go beyond lack of 24 hours of sleep, then yep, I can truly prepare for an episode. Lack of sleep will make my physically tired, but my mind will not shut off. So, I find myself just lying-in bed, tossing, and turning. Sometimes I will just stare at the ceiling and just pray that I will fall asleep. My body needs sleep to maintain my mental health and for my body to just feel refresh and function properly. I try to get at least 8 hours a sleep a night.

3. Medications– this just happened to me recently, I took an OTC allergy pill and within the next few days, I noticed my moods were changing. I was going through a #Depression episode, crying and having no energy at all. Then a few days later I would be so irritable and wanting to spend lots of money, and then talking a mile a minute. This was going for a few weeks, and I thought, I was just experiencing an episode and was like “I will need to just hold tight and ride this storm out”. Well, I started to think what I did different if anything, then it clicked, the only change was the allergy pill. So, I stopped taking it and started taking a different one. Wow, I would say within a few weeks, I was back to myself.

4. My own expectations– this one is all on me. I have a type A personality and I expect myself to be always perfect. I use to think I have #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder (which I do believe I do have a little bit), but in reality I have OCPD(#ObsessiveCompulsivePersonalityDisorder ). I have such a rigid schedule, that even if it is off by five minutes I can panic. I expect people to work at the same level of intensity as I do, which can cause me to have added work stress. Things need to be in order for me as well, I do not like chaos, my house is completely cleaned all the time, appointments on my calendar are made way ahead of time etc.

I feel like I am truly blessed because I can feel the warning signs of a possible episode. To me, it truly does help me be able to manage and cope with #BipolarDisorder and this is what always helps me to find HOPE through that storm.

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