A journey of a thousand miles #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsivePersonalityDisorder
Roughly 9 years ago I got the tattoo in the picture above. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” That’s the translation from Kanji in to English. The quotation is from Chapter 64 of the Tao Te Ching ascribed to Lao Tzu. The section that is from is as below:
A tree so big it can fill the span of a man's arms
grows from a tiny sprout.
A terrace nine stories high
rises from a shovel-full of earth.
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step.
Thus, one of integral virtue
never sets about grandiose things,
yet is able to achieve great things.
These are simple observations yet incredibly profound. Everything starts from something small. Like a drop of water repeatedly hitting a rock will create a depression over time so to will the practices of healing and self-care we put in place. The key operative word is “time.”
Time
Always moving, always flowing
Never Enough, Always Too Much
The beginning of our life,
The end of our days.
Time
I wrote that in high school and its always struck me how a human construct holds so much sway over our lives. Time after all is an illusion. Something we created to bring order to chaos, but its a paradox. We either never have enough (gotta meet that deadline) or too much (why is this taking so long?) There is never just “enough” time, have you ever noticed that?
“I’m going to be late.”
“We are too early.”
“I don’t have time for that.”
“Quit wasting my time.”
Even when you arrive “right on time” like at the doctors for example, invariably you may end up having to wait. Time consumes everything about our lives because its the measure we use for everything in our lives.
Birth, childhood, adolescents, adulthood, career, marriage, children, dreams, goals, retirement, death and everything in between.
How much time do you actually make for the things that are important in your life? How much time do you make for your healing? How about personal growth? How much time do you make to do things that make you happy? How much time do you make for love? How much time do you procrastinate? (🙋) Most importantly, how much time do you devote to suffering?
The irony is that we can’t make time. It’s finite. Our time here has a fixed beginining and a fixed end. We can however waste time, and thats exactly what I have been doing with my life.
Life is precious. My life, your life, everyone’s life. How much do we really recognize that when it comes to the time we have to be happy, make an impact, do some good in this world? For too many years my mental illness has kept me in the “fog of war” where time doesn’t exist but passes anyway.
John Kabat-Zinn in his book Mindfullness Meditation spoke of a book by the poet David White called “The Heart Aroused”. David works in corporate america trying to get workers back in touch with the essence of their being. In one excerpt he had some people write about their experience and one woman wrote the following:
Ten years ago,
I turned my face for a moment,
And it became my life.
That is one of the most profoundly sad poems I have ever heard and it is the definition my life and I’m guessing many of you can relate.
Today s the day to start that thousand mile journey. Today is the day for that single step. You may not feel like taking it. Take it anyway. Dare to be courageous. When the past comes knocking, when the anxiety comes creeping along. like it does, when the insecurity, the pain, whatever it is comes calling, simply reply. “I don’t have time for you.” You can do this. We can do this.