Goal

I'm trying to be active and productive. I have spent the whole day (now it's 5pm) waiting to reach the point of my to do list where I would have had to study.

Here I am, 10 hours after I woke up, and still haven't done a thing. As yesterday and as the day before.

I've actually found an inspiring spot and have all my stuff in front of me.

The progress today is: I have opened the file I should listen to and focused for 15 minutes. Then I just watch myself opening up pages, daydreaming, thinking, unfocusing. -.-

Good thing: I'm in a public place and they're playing some music - "I Want It All" reminded me of how I used to feel, when I was 11 yo, listening to Queen.

I do have energy and enthusiasm inside. A LOT.

I miss it. I sense it, but I don't feel able to grab it and take it up here.

[People who knew me before remember this, my old self, and maybe something of it it's still visible, I'm not aware].

It's part of me, I could burst and explode, if only this drowsiness would fade away. I have a sun inside which got suffocated through the years and now I can't move. I just follow the days as they go by and this crushes me.

I've tried several strategies, in the past three years, but I can't find what could work for me.

I've tried to concentrate for short periods of time, then take a break, then study again and so on, but it has worked for a few days and then stop.

Same applies to anything else.

(I change my way of studying as my needs do, though, so I don't expect a method to work all the time).

Does anyone have tips to focus on the short term, heading to bigger goals?

(I'm referring to college's exams in particular, in my case!)

How do you manage to mantain a regular studying activity? If you manage to do so, otherwise feel free to comment down below you too, if you wanna share something. :)

How do you like to study?

Btw: "My Fairy King" and "Great King Rat" are two curious songs by Queen I really like. I'm trying to take my light and my younger spontaneous and full-of-enthusiasm self out and these songs resonate in a particular way, now eheh ^^

Thank you for reading - a hug to everyone ~

#concentration #Motivation #Tips #study #Goal #help #enthusiasm #lowenergy #active #productive #Procrastination #Inspiration

It was a mighty prompt that prompted this writing (haha- get it?) and I usually love the mighty prompts. They are usually a way to stop and reflect- on myself, on my ideas of success, on my my goals, etc. This one stopped me dead in my tracks as I was scrolling as it said the following:

What are your top 3 goals for the remainder of the year?

What really hurt was that I couldn’t come up with one, let alone three! This simple prompt, meant to lift up and celebrate even the smallest goals and achievements in the coming months, shed light to the fact that I don’t even know what my coming months look like. I should probably explain.

Because of my chronic illness, Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension, I’ve had to defer my acceptance to college back a year and take what is called a “gap year”. Gap years are pretty normal, the circumstances of mine is not. My goal is to take the fist semester and get my health under control, and then work to save up money the rest of the time so I can go to college next year in the best position I can be in to succeed. Unfortunately, the whole “getting my health under control” thing is a little harder than it sounds. It’s what we’ve been trying to do since since I was diagnosed and subsequently pulled out of school back in March. So obviously, it’s been going great (not).

As I’m writing this, I have come to the realization that goals don’t always have to be tangible. I don’t have to get x grades for my degree or make x amount of money or anything like that. So I’ve made some goals for the second half of 2021- even if I’m not entirely sure where it’s going to take me yet.

Emma’s 3 2021 Goals

- Smile at people when they make eye contact
- Accept the help as it comes, say thank you, and don’t brush off their support
- Support my friends as they go off to college and be the friend they can always come back to, no matter how far they’ve gone

As you go off and make your own goals, whether they look anything like mine or not, make them with you in mind. You are on your own journey, and are in a different stage of life than anyone else around you. Give yourself the grace to make goals that fit where you are right now, not where you wish you could be. I look forward to cheering you on as you reach for the stars!

#goalsetting #goals #Goal #mightyprompt #mightygoals #mightygoal #3goals #newyearresolutions #IIH #Writing #WritingThroughIt #CheckInWithMe #checkinonme #IdiopathicIntracranialHypertension #IH #IntracranialHypertension #College #gapyear

I just turned 31 this past week. I’ve had a rough relationship with myself for over a decade. One thing that i am doing to help heal myself is to take a selfie everyday and post it. Not for other people but for me so i can see who i am in that moment. It won’t be the same place or time everyday just in the moment. My #Goal this year is to find out who i am. #Anxiety #PTSD #Trauma #LossOfAParent #Reflection