Respect

Instead of using 'The Mighty' to weep and moan. Maybe... just maybe...I can use this site to better myself. It wont happen today and I don't expect it to happen tomorrow but there was once "Hope".

My initial thoughts after the "incident" were feelings of relief and hope for the future. The relief was short lived but I managed to remind myself that there was "hope" for me.

The relief was important because it signified rock bottom. It was only up from there... The difficulty for me was that I had come from the top; I just didn't know it at the time. I was forced to rebuild my life and it was incredibly difficult.

I have been picking up the pieces for over ten years trying to clear my name. My old friends were not willing to forgive me and my new friends ditched me & left me broken. I knew I had to change my life and stop the anti-social & self destructive behaviour.

I started to rebuild my life one thing at a time. I was still miserable, bitter and angry. My parents were supportive but didn't have the tools to help me.

I didn't even recognise myself and I had to learn to love myself. I wish I had the insight to realise that the solitude was a blessing and an opportunity for self-reflection. Instead of doing the work and bettering myself, I locked myself up and threw away the key.

I thought time would heal my trauma. Time has provided separation and offered me the opportunity for reflection. Unfortunately, I did not take the opportunity and continued with the same negative outlook towards life. I continued to look for external gratification to fill the void although I finally made the conscious decision not to go back for more punishment.

It's now time to start working and bettering myself. Learning new techniques and attending therapy to work through my anxiety, depression & self-loathing.

I am ready to start healing and setting myself up for the future. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself and want more out of life. I want genuine friendships & relationships without the need for alcohol and substance abuse.

It's going to be a long and difficult road but I am now willing to start the process of piecing myself back together little by little.

#Hope #future #Depression #Sadness #sad #up #down #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Friends #Connections #Family #reputation #Respect #Love #calm #peace #Spiritual #Anxiety #grateful #live

I have a intrusive thoughts which infect my mind and make it difficult to concentrate. They start the minute I wake up and do not cease until I go back to sleep. I have many hobbies and try to keep my mind occupied but the evil thoughts replay over and over.

When I was physically assaulted over ten years ago I never thought that I would continue to experience flashbacks and trauma from the incident. I have been in fights before and thought it would become another distant memory of something unfortunate. My experience has been completely different and I am stuck in a never ending loop of sorrow and pity.

The attack causes me major mental health issues that I can't move on from. I am stuck in a negative cycle of pain and suffering. The image of the attack repeats in my mind. I see the faceless images of multiple attackers and the fear of reliving the incident is ever present. I am afraid of what's in store for me as I battle to focus on what's important.

It is difficult to describe the incident as it involves anger, betrayal and resentment. The only thing I know for sure is that it leaves me empty and insecure. These people purposefully sought to hurt me and they were successful.

I hate to say it but my mental health has deteriorated to the point where I am miserable. I hate my life and I am aware of the holes I keep digging are damaging me further. I blame my mother and father for a lot of my problems whether it is their fault or not. They did their best but had unrealistic expectations and when I was unable to achieve the impossible goals they had set for me I spiralled in to a deep depression.

This depression has followed me for years and the more I let it control my life - the more pain it causes me. I have never dealt with any of the negative emotions that fill my mind. I bottled everything up and pretended I was fine. I am at the point where I don't see anything improving and I want to hurt the few people I have left.

I really wish I could end on something positive but my life has become a merry go round of pain, sorrow and regret. I hate myself in more ways than one and I need help but the road to recovery is fraught with feelings of guilt and resentment.

EDIT: I am fully aware that my posts are very much a pity party. I am hurting inside and just desperately want to feel better.

#Depression #Misery #Sadness #hurt #Pain #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #feelings #unhappy #Relationships #Friendship #Love #Trauma #PTSD #challenges #Life #Death #advertisy #friend #peace #Emotion #flasback #Lettinggo #scar #regret #compassion #Thoughts #Mindfulness #Anxiety #reserved #Respect #peace

He would like for you to have a mild tone when starting conversations, prefer you give a request rather than demand, and accept that ADHD spouse has a right to his opinion, whether or not you like them.

Don't set up a dynamic in which your spouse feels he can never do well enough for you. Even though you may feel like he makes some childish decisions, still give him some responsibilities ones you feel he can handle and when he advances, then congratulate him and give him more responsibilities, after a few years you will view him as the potential man you married. Then your respect levels for him will go up. #ADHD #adhdwomen #adhdmen #Marriage #Respect

Today was my last day with this job. Indeed, I work in a freelance working schedule, however, I used to take that as a job, I was there always the day and time she needed me.

I know I need improvement as does everyone in this world. I take constructive feedback well, it helps me to grow, but everyone deserves respect.

I recorded a video of a fragment of this last meeting. Thanks for your words, this episode happened without affecting my emotions too much. I uploaded the video

youtu.be/MkdfYLHXLmo

She paid in advance for some hours, she wants reimbursement. of course, I will give her back the money, but I have made an experiment. It is curious how she never had time to reply to a question, she always wanted me to "figure it out myself", but then, I used to do what I thought it was best, and tried to be proactive. But later, she used to tell me that she didn't ask me to do it and that I should ask more questions.

So, she never had time for a few minutes to reply to some questions/blockers that would help me to do my work. But now, she has been trying to connect with me all afternoon because she wants her money back. So, seems like, in the end, she hasn't been as busy as she always says she is...

One of the main complaints was that my communication was an issue, my English is good enough to communicate, but still is not perfect, I know I need to improve, but I am a remote worker living in the 3rd world charging her 10 USD per hour. She won't find that rate there in her country with an English native speaker.

Thanks again :)

#Impostorsyndrome #Anxiety #Burnout #worklifebalance #Depression #Respect

I have been avoiding contact with nearly all family members for the past couple years in order to better cope with my mental health challenges.

I got an email from my mom a few days ago saying she and dad would be in town today and would like to "repair our relationship". So that email had me feeling suffocated and trapped and even a bit angry. It got me planning out how to pretend no one was home in my apartment so that if they stopped by without notice, they would accept that I wasn't here and just leave.

So, yesterday, I decided that I would try being brave and open my blinds (which I rarely do in general) since my parents wouldn't be in town yet. About an hour after this decision, I had a knock on my door. I thought it was my landlord, so I did open the door. Instead, it was my mom's cousin. She is around 70 years of age and her mother just passed away in the spring (I have previously written about that funeral). She was standing at my door holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a white bag. Note that I have never given her my address (on purpose), so she has to have gotten my address from my mom.

Anyway, so she gives me the bouquet and the bag of veggies from her garden and asks several times if I'm ok. Then she invited me on a walk in a nearby park, but I declined because I was in my pajamas (and because I absolutely did not want to go). So then she offered to wait while I got changed. I declined again, and then she asked me to drop by and visit her any time.

As soon as she left, I viciously shut my blinds and felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt sick to my stomach and my mind started racing with the likely fall-out of this visit, especially how it would likely embolden my parents to force their way into my life. Now it's a day later and I'm dealing with acid reflux due to the anxiety.

Is it so much to ask for my wishes to be respected? Situations like this make my fantasy of running away and changing my name feel more and more like a good option.

#Family #Relationships #Parents #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Respect #Trauma #home

📺 - tinyurl.com/6cyw8k39

🗣 - "Taylor Lakhryst was an undecided voter who participated in a #CBC program called Face to Face during last year's federal election campaign. While being on the show gave her a chance to ask questions of a party leader, she felt CBC's production choices spoiled the experience by making her appear inept and powerless."

❓ - What's #DwhellOnIt ?

👀 - Dwhell On It is a series where I answer your questions about my lived experience as a #trans woman!

📺 - A new episode gets uploaded every week! - https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLr2CrTrMJaIzM7ETpDxpMcGHhJ1TPxPq4

‼️ - Get engaged!

➕ - Subscribe for more episodes & similar #Content ! - www.youtube.com/TaylorLakhryst

✉️ - #Comment w/ thoughts & questions!

👍🏻 - Please like & #Share !

🔖 - Bookmarks!

"While you expressed #Gratitude for the #Opportunity to provide visibility on the subject of abuse toward the 2SLBGTQIA+ #Community , you felt that #CBC made choices which diluted your appearance. It left you feeling, if not misrepresented, then underrepresented."

It feels as if #CBC chose to represent me as what I interpret as inept, powerless, and stuck with candy-coated concerns because who I am isn't palatable enough for Canadians who can't cope that #people such as myself strive to inspire and create #change .

#social platforms highlighted my segment as being of the utmost importance on an issue that had not been placed front and centre in the campaign until my appearance.

I continued to focus much of my argument on the treatment of my introductory video. I emphasized how problematic it was that this video highlighted "my love for #Sports and karaoke" while omitting more substantive #Comments about the importance of placing responsibility for bigotry and hate-based abuse on the abusers rather than the victims.

"I'm an undecided voter because" and "Let's be #leaders …" were extracted from two completely different sections of what I provided. #CBC created that line and not me, and I'm not sure if that is conducive to "accuracy."

"You stated that you followed all the directives given to you in advance by producers, yet you were the only one of the four participants given less than 40 seconds of airtime."

"You also reiterated that #CBC exercised poor judgment when it failed to include your exchange about pronouns with #ErinOToole .”

#CBC watered me down and presented me with the safest, most palatable and most comfortable image they could build based on the information I provided.

"Your complaint is, first and foremost, a reminder that the stories journalists tell are not really "theirs." They are the stories of real #people with real lives, ambitions, and concerns."

Journalistic Standards and Practices covers much ground regarding ethical #Journalism but doesn't cover specific circumstances.

"There is more debate to be had about editing your introductory video … it's clear that those producers took two risks with your video."

"On your frustration that the #question you asked on the show was "negotiated," … I worried it meant that programmers were forcing you to ask the questions that they wanted."

🔗 - Links!

How Presentation Affects Representation - tinyurl.com/yc26c89x

Your Friends Appreciate a Random Check-In Call or Text More Than You Realize - Your Friends Appreciate a Random Check-In More Than You Realize

What four undecided voters asked #ErinOToole | Face to Face 2021 - tinyurl.com/2p8ntybn

#Media and #Journalism are transphobic. I was on #CBC News: The National Face to Face - tinyurl.com/5yfc9a65

#Canada Voted In Favour of Policing Women's Bodies! - tinyurl.com/56b67cr9

Is there anything that #people expect you to be good at but are very bad at? - tinyurl.com/br4j293z

#CBC News: The National | #ErinOToole , Alberta's deadly COVID-19 surge, TIFF returns - tinyurl.com/4mvaemvy

👀 - Create #change !  

📣 - End anti-2SLGBTQIA+ abuse! - act.newmode.net/action/hirewheller/csr

📣 - You can #help ! Everything inspiring HireWheller stays ongoing - biased systems, ignorant platforms, violent abusers & isolated victims.

📣 - Grassroots #power comes from its #people ! Get involved or refer others you know to challenge systemic violence & oppression!

💻 - Connect!

@HireWheller: A grassroots group to #help the 2SLGBTQIA+ #Community overcome often-minimized struggles.

Instagram: https://instagram.com/hirewheller

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HireWheller-103322085282334

#Twitter : https://twitter.com/HireWheller?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

👱🏼‍♀️ - Look me up!

TaylorLakhryst: #Transgender woman, advocate, INFJ, ♊️, she/her/hers 🏳️‍⚧️

Linktree: linktr.ee/TaylorLakhryst

📒 - Alt information

* Text: Dwhell on it w/ Taylor Lakhryst Ep. 56 - How Presentation Affects Representation - HIREWHELLER

* Description: A blonde woman wearing a black sweater is smiling & sitting in front of a beige wall. There is white text with a yellow & purple accent.

* Captions: Automated

#Gratitude #Opportunity #social #Sports #Comments #leaders #canadian #gender #grateful #interview #manitoba #News #Out #Respect #Safety #Success #winnipeg #Youtube #active #Activism #Anxiety #athlete #Business #causes #Charity #donate #Energy #equality #Fundraising #Lesbian #LGBT #LGBTQ #Kindness #marketing #Media #nonbinary #philanthropy #Pride

🗣 - “Someone who has made up their mind will not change their mind. So, stop trying to worry about the fee-fees of someone who’s a terrible human being.”

📺 - www.youtube.com/watch

‼️ - Get engaged!

➕ - Subscribe for more episodes & similar #Content - www.youtube.com/TaylorLakhryst

✉️ - #Comment with your thoughts or questions you'd like answered!

👍🏻 - Please #like & #Share this to help get heard!

❓ - What's #DwhellOnIt

👀 - Dwhell On It is a series where I answer your #questions about my lived #experience as a #trans woman!

📺 - A new episode gets uploaded every week! - youtube.com/playlist

🔖 - Bookmarks!

05:20 - Let's talk inclusion!

17:50 - Let's talk TERFs!

39:15 - Let's talk about being exclusionary!

51:08 - Let's talk about suppression!

53:03 - End anti-2SLGBTQIA+ abuse! - act.newmode.net/action/hirewheller/csr

🔗 - Links mentioned!

03:21 - #Letters4TransKids - "You Know Who You Are!" - www.youtube.com/watch

10:00 - Accomplishments, #Gratitude And More! - www.youtube.com/watch

30:30 - Workouts: Worth the effort. Bigots: Nope. - www.youtube.com/watch

40:55 - City Council Approves To Prefer #Kindness - www.youtube.com/watch

44:10 - Travelling, Being Left-Handed & More! - www.youtube.com/watch

💰 - Donate now! Help these fundraisers hit $1411!

❗️ - Support #RunForWomen & women's #MentalHealth programs! - run.convio.net/site/TR/Events/General

❗️ - Support #walk4md & individuals who live with neuromuscular disorders! - muscle.akaraisin.com/ui/walk4md22/p/TaylorLakhryst

👀 - Get involved! You can create #change

📣 - You can help! Everything inspiring HireWheller stays ongoing - biased systems, ignorant platforms, violent abusers, and isolated victims.

📣 - Grassroots #power comes from its #people Please #help by getting involved or referring people you know to create change against systemic bigotry & oppression. Thanks! 💜

💻 - Get connected!

#hirewheller A #grassroots group aiming to help the #2slgbtqia #Community overcome often-minimized struggles.

#Instagram instagram.com/hirewheller

#Twitter twitter.com/HireWheller

#Facebook www.facebook.com/HireWheller-103322085282334

👱🏼‍♀️ - Look me up!

#taylorlakhryst Trans woman, advocate, INFJ, ♊️, she/her/hers 🏳️‍⚧️

#linktree linktr.ee/TaylorLakhryst

📒 - Alt information

* Text: Dwhell on it with Taylor Lakhryst - Bigotry And The Bystander Effect - Episode Forty-Seven - HIREWHELLER

* Description: A blonde woman wearing a purple sweater is smiling and sitting in front of a beige wall. There is black, grey, and white text on a turquoise background.

* Captions: Automated

#Activism #AskMe #Business #Canada #Career #causes #changemakers #Charity #cityofwinnipeg #Comments #contentcreator #creator #Diversity #diversityandinclusion #dogood #donate #Employment #Energy #Equity #ethics #eventplanning #Events #Fundraising #gender #government #grateful #humanities #humanrights #Inclusion #inequality #leaders #LGBT #LGBTQ #linkinbio #Love #manitoba #Manitobans #mbpoli #MentalHealth #Motivation #Network #opportunities #Opportunity #Organizing #partnerships #philanthropy #policies #policy #Pride #ProtectTransKids #ProtectTransYouth #quality #question #Respect #Safety #socialgood #SocialMedia #Sports #Success #training #Transgender #Transphobia #transphobic #Travel #Video #winnipeg #Work #wpgpoli #Youtube

🗣 - "Good for you, everybody, all you elected officials. Trying so hard to make an eight or nine, or whatever dumb page amount, document to say, "Hey, be nice to someone else." But we're not going to define what "nice" is, so then we don't get in trouble for it."

www.youtube.com/watch

‼️ - Get engaged!

➕ - Subscribe for more episodes & similar #Content - www.youtube.com/TaylorLakhryst

✉️ - #Comment with your thoughts or questions you'd like answered!

👍🏻 - Please #like & #Share this to help get heard!

❓ - What's #DwhellOnIt

👀 - Dwhell On It is a series where I answer your #questions about my lived #experience as a #trans woman!

📺 - A new episode gets uploaded every week! - youtube.com/playlist

🔖 - Bookmarks!

03:37 - Fascinating video! I like that you said you had to accept yourself. You didn't say anything about workouts worth the effort yet. Can you do a video when you talk about your workouts to help a girl out? Thanks.

10:57 - I've been on HRT for almost a week, and my chest is growing, but there's some shrinking I'm not comfortable with. In your experience, does the D shrink or the B's? I got told that it would be the testes, but it's not the case for me, so how is it for you?

18:36 - Are there other cities that you know of that have policies better than what got presented?

21:27 - Does the "Corporate Advertising Policy" count as a tangible measure?

23:28 - End anti-2SLGBTQIA+ abuse! - act.newmode.net/action/hirewheller/csr

🔗 - Links mentioned!

02:20 - #Letters4TransKids - "You Know Who You Are!" - www.youtube.com/watch

03:30 - Workouts: Worth the effort. Bigots: Nope. - www.youtube.com/watch

03:50 - Doesn’t working out make transitioning worse? - www.youtube.com/watch

22:55 - **Placeholder for Council segment** - clkapps.winnipeg.ca/DMIS/permalink.asp

💰 - Donate now! Help these fundraisers hit $1411!

❗️ - Support #RunForWomen & women's #MentalHealth programs! - run.convio.net/site/TR/Events/General

❗️ - Support #walk4md & individuals who live with neuromuscular disorders! - muscle.akaraisin.com/ui/walk4md22/p/TaylorLakhryst

👀 - Get involved! You can create #change

📣 - You can help! Everything inspiring HireWheller stays ongoing - biased systems, ignorant platforms, violent abusers, and isolated victims.

📣 - Grassroots #power comes from its #people Please #help by getting involved or referring people you know to create change against systemic bigotry & oppression. Thanks! 💜

💻 - Get connected!

#hirewheller A #grassroots group aiming to help the #2slgbtqia #Community overcome often-minimized struggles.

#Instagram instagram.com/hirewheller

#Twitter twitter.com/HireWheller

#Facebook www.facebook.com/HireWheller-103322085282334

👱🏼‍♀️ - Look me up!

#taylorlakhryst Trans woman, advocate, INFJ, ♊️, she/her/hers 🏳️‍⚧️

#linktree linktr.ee/TaylorLakhryst

📒 - Alt information

* Text: Dwhell on it with Taylor Lakhryst - City Council Approves To Prefer Kindness! - Episode Forty-Six - HIREWHELLER

* Description: A blonde woman wearing a white and blue shirt is smiling and sitting in front of a wall. There is white and light pink text on a red background.

* Captions: Automated

#Activism #Canada #Diversity #ethics #Equity #government #humanities #Inclusion #LGBT #LGBTQ #manitoba #Motivation #Organizing #policy #question #Transgender #winnipeg #Love #2slgbtqia #AskMe #causes #change #changemakers #Charity #Comment #Comments #Community #Content #contentcreator #creator #dogood #donate #Employment #eventplanning #Events #Fundraising #gender #grassroots #grateful #help #like #linkinbio #MentalHealth #Kindness #leaders #people #philanthropy #power #Respect #Safety #Share #socialgood #SocialMedia #Sports #training #Travel #trans #Video #SplashPageSelfie #DwhellOnIt #hirewheller #taylorlakhryst #Instagram #Twitter #Facebook #linktree #Youtube #RunForWomen #walk4md #ProtectTransYouth #Letters4TransKids