Brave

I have a #Daydream where I find the right #Job and lose my #unemployment and work 40 hours a week. It sounds like a #nightmare because a 40 hour work week is #scary for me. It takes away so much time from #Selfcare and #Recovery that it brings me to a point of #tears .

I began to do the whole #comparing myself to others and #Wondering why I could not be like another. I truly feel #helpless whenever I become #jobless

It is difficult for me to find a #Job that can work with a #Disability and not feel #stigmitized by my #employer secretly. I feel like I am this cat in the photo, in my own #World where everything around me is just blowing up. It is not that I do not #Care anymore, but it is that there is only so much I can do. I might as well take normal pictures along the way and try to be as #normal in my #Abnormal world possible.

Perhaps a "vocational" center will be #helpfull in finding a #Career rather than just a job... But I do not know how much #Stigma exists. I suppose I am just #afraid and at the same time #Brave for keeping applying and trying.

Wish me #luck !

Found this and thought it might be helpful for someone.

#Selfcare #compassion #Selflove #doingyourbest #Nice #Kind #Quotes #coping #Trying #Brave #strong #Amazing

:) I am at a new job and usually struggle to find or keep employment, so far everyone is nice and the training is better than at other places, but guess don’t want to feel alone in my struggles hiding my mental health at the workplace, maybe eventually I can reach out for help if they are accommodating, they offer some mental health supports partnerships so I’m incredibly lucky. Thanks for any tips and sharing your own story or struggles with work anxiety.

😊🙂🙂💕🙏 💼
🌻🌷❤️🌸☺️🙂

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#Newjob #Anxiety #coping #Trying #Hardwork #DoingMyBest #Hope #New #Life #struggles #Selflove #patience #growing #selfImprovement #resillience #Work #WorkAnxiety #Job #Brave #fears #Journaling #tryingtoovercomefears #SocialAnxiety #Coworkers #Nice #positive #positiveexperience

Inspiration Poem

My dad lived with chronic/acute pain most of his adult life. It began in the 1970’s, and escalated drastically over the rest of his life. His pain was in the form of peripheral neuropathy and was diagnosed by the VA but denied responsibility by the VA. The PN was a gift curtesy of our US government, via Agent Orange. My dad was not the only soldier who came into contact with AO. My dad’s wasn’t even a full measure of exposure. It was somewhat diluted. A river of runoff from washing out an airplane ran over his boots as he worked. The corrosive AO gifting him and countless others with lifelong neurological problems that would never get treated.
Here’s where I get my example of control. In 2010 I moved in with my dad and we lived as house mates until 2019. I co-cared for him after I moved out but do to my own health issues I no longer was strong enough to care for him full time as before. During our nine years living together I witnessed his pain and watched him cry, struggle to keep himself calm, always he managed to be a happy person around others. Joking, laughing, talking. All while half crazy from the pain that was minimally controlled by prescription opioids, narcotics, and mood stabilizers. He was sleep deprived and by the last couple years of his life he developed a form of neurological dementia that ultimately took his life October 10, 2021. But even up to his very last day he prayed, he smiled at those who came to see him, and he kept control of his behavior.
#strong #Brave #chronicacutepain #againstallodds

Everyday presents an opportunity to “innerstand” my fears, desires, dreams, triggers, and my self . . . and I choose daily to meet these moments with gratitude and a deep thirst for understanding and clarity so that I can continue to move forward with my life. As I am now re affirming and restablisheing my safety, my health, my confidence, my courage, and my resilience after going “no contact” after close to four years of narcissistic abuse, I gain so much insight with each night that I can sleep peacefully and dream. I gave up so much of what makes me happy to be with someone who only wanted to see me miserable and now I can truly enjoy the simplicity of the sunlight peaking in through my blinds in the morning after I wake up and tell myself “I am safe now.” With that so much has already begun to unfold in a short amount of time and I am seeing how truly magical this universe is.

Til Next Time
Sending You All Of My Love and Light
Big Hug

Leah 🖤

#Trauma #traumabonded #Healing #Hope #heart #Love #clarity #nocontact #Brave #courage #strength #diary #AbuseSurvivors #Abuse #CPTSD #PTSD #Anxiety #MightyPoets