self-love

The Beginning of the End

I remember the moment my marriage truly ended—not the legal paperwork, not the final fight, but the quiet realization that the person I loved was walking away for good. It wasn’t a dramatic explosion, though there had been plenty of those. It wasn’t a single betrayal, though trust had eroded over time. It was the slow unraveling, the moments of intensity followed by unbearable distance, the cycle I knew too well but couldn’t seem to escape.

Loving with BPD is like living in a storm. One minute, the skies are clear, and everything feels perfect—like I’ve found my person, my home. The next, a shift in tone, a delayed text, or a perceived slight sends me spiraling into panic, convinced I’m about to be abandoned. I loved hard, but I also feared hard. And that fear became the third presence in my marriage, whispering doubts, fueling arguments, making me question if I was ever truly loved at all.

In the end, the love we had wasn’t enough to withstand the storm. And when it was over, I was left not just with heartbreak, but with questions—about myself, about my patterns, about how to love in a way that doesn’t destroy me or the people around me.

A Partner Who Tried—Until He Didn’t

At first, he tried to help. He saw my pain, my panic, my desperate need for reassurance, and he did his best to be my anchor. He held me when I cried, reassured me when I spiraled, and told me over and over that he wasn’t going anywhere. I wanted to believe him. I really did. But BPD has a way of making love feel like sand slipping through my fingers—I clutch too hard, or I let go too soon, terrified it was never mine to hold in the first place.

Over time, his patience wore thin. The understanding he once offered turned into frustration, then resentment, then something worse—anger. He started to lash out, to say things I couldn’t forget, to meet my emotional chaos with his own. I wasn’t the only one hurting anymore. We were both drowning. And the worst part? He didn’t even know why. He didn’t understand BPD, didn’t see the patterns beneath the pain. To him, I was just too much—too emotional, too unpredictable, too needy. And to me, he became something I both clung to and feared.

In the end, it wasn’t one fight that broke us. It was all the small misunderstandings that piled up until neither of us could see a way forward.

The Weight of the Wrong Choice

After the divorce, I was left with a different kind of pain—the kind that doesn’t just come from losing someone, but from realizing they were never the person I needed them to be. I had chosen someone I thought would stay, someone I believed could handle my highs and lows. And for a while, he tried. But in the end, he didn’t understand me, and maybe he never really wanted to.

The hardest part wasn’t just the heartbreak—it was the disappointment. The realization that I had built so much of my identity around a relationship that was never truly safe for me. I kept wondering: Did I choose wrong? Did I ignore the signs? Or was I simply too much for anyone to love the way I needed?

Divorce wasn’t just the loss of a marriage; it was the loss of the future I had envisioned. I had to rebuild, not just my life, but my belief in myself. And that was the hardest part of all.

Healing and Moving Forward

But in the wreckage of that marriage, I started to see things more clearly—not just about him, but about myself. I had spent so much time trying to hold on to someone who wasn’t truly holding me back. I had ignored my own needs, my own worth, in the hope that love alone would be enough to keep us together.

Healing didn’t happen overnight. There were days when the loneliness felt unbearable, when I doubted whether I would ever be truly understood by anyone. But slowly, I started to shift my focus. Instead of waiting for someone else to prove they wouldn’t leave, I began learning how to stay with myself. Instead of blaming myself for being “too much,” I started to understand that I deserved the kind of love that didn’t make me feel like a burden.

Final Thoughts

If there’s one thing I’ve taken from this experience, it’s that love isn’t just about finding someone who stays—it’s about finding someone who sees you, truly sees you, and chooses to understand rather than judge. And more than that, it’s about learning to see yourself that way first.

For anyone reading this who has felt like they were “too much” or “not enough” in love—please know that you are neither. You are worthy of understanding, of patience, of love that doesn’t feel like a constant battle. And most importantly, you are worthy of your own love first.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD
#Selflove

There is More talk about Self-Care than the Most Critical Key to Happiness and Great Relationships of all types——-“SELF-LOVE”.

With this in-depth look at what Self-Love looks like-for your own personal growth, I would like you to take an honest look inwards and determine if you Practice Self-Love.
If you’re not, or if you’re not doing all of the bullet points given below, don’t worry— “Each morning, we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”

As always, let’s have a great conversation about this topic below 👇 in the comments where you can use this space for your own place in your mental wellness journey. Not your mental illness journey— I am here as a friend to guide you through to the other side as much as possible—yes, that is where I stand, and the magic only happens if you let me—so how about more group members join in for your sake.

The Mighty friends that have opened themselves up to this opportunity are telling me and showing me that they are really starting to get it, and they are taking bigger, new, determined steps in their lives.

"Self-Love" refers to a deeper internal state of accepting and valuing yourself unconditionally, while "self-care" focuses on taking practical actions to maintain your physical and mental wellbeing, like getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and engaging in activities you enjoy; essentially, self-love is the mindset that drives you to practice self-care. Self-Love is the mindset too that heals the pain and keeps you in the light, Determined to keep pushing away any darkness and to stop doubting yourself.

Key points to remember:
* Self-love:
* A feeling of intrinsic worth and acceptance, regardless of circumstances
* Becoming your own best friend - treating yourself with the same respect and understanding you would give a close friend.
* Be the love you never received.
* Includes embracing your flaws
* Foundation for setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your needs
* learn to say no when needed and clearly explain why
* Don’t seek Anyone’s validation
* Positive self-talk: Use encouraging language to speak to yourself, focusing on your strengths and accomplishments.
* Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, recognizing negative self-talk and actively replacing it with positive affirmations/relabel upsetting thoughts
* Say something nice to yourself in the mirror — looking into your eyes & smile at yourself & say “I love you”and your name. (Yes, I actually stop myself to do this & it’s Wonderful)
* cultivate self-compassion
* Encourage Yourself
* Talk to someone you trust who *Has The Capacity To Listen*-and, Another Big Key Here is that ***Being vulnerable - completely honest and thorough- about what you’re going through with someone else is a major form of self-love because you’re taking the time to dig deep, regardless of how uncomfortable it is, And, on top of that, you’re showing yourself that you want to work out whatever’s going on with you***
* avoid comparing yourself to others
* practice gratitude
* Seek out opportunities for growth
* Creating a safe zone all your own is an act of self-love because it gives you a designated area where you can focus on your needs and emotions instead of other people’s. The key here is creating a space that feels good and peaceful when life is neither of those things.
#MentalHealth #Mindfulness #Selflove #Selfcare #Selfharm #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Trauma #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Agoraphobia #BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #EatingDisorder #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #LymeDisease #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #AutonomicDysfunction #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #Deafness #ADHDInGirls #ADHD #AspergersSyndrome #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Addiction #CerebralPalsy #IntellectualDisability #Disability #Blindness #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Migraine #IfYouFeelHopeless #BrainInjury #MotorDisorders #MultipleSclerosis #RheumatoidArthritis #Arthritis #Grief #Loneliness #AnorexiaNervosa #Relationships #SocialAnxiety #FamilyAndFriends #Caregiving #CrohnsDisease #CysticFibrosis #AlopeciaAreata #Cancers #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #ParkinsonsDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #Stroke #Diabetes #SelfharmRecovery #RareDisease #DownSyndrome #AddisonsDisease #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsivePersonalityDisorder #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

I have been a big, generous supportive friend and group leader of more than 1 group for years now on The Mighty and I hope 🙏 that our Mighty family is truly inclusive and a safe place for Jewish people as well.

I want to think that my Mighty friends on here would not think different or less of me for being Jewish.

I don’t want us to have to feel afraid or unsafe to be, say, express this part of who we are.

But, I have been seeing with deep hurt and sadness that we have been hiding, in the shadows, and this is obviously not helping with the same #MentalHealth that we too deserve.

Happy Hanukkah needs to be freely expressed too, and as well supported as Merry Christmas, for one example.

I refuse to have #Anxiety over being fully genuinely me.

And, I will not allow it to cause any darkness and isolation that is dangerous for my amazing progress with my healing journey and with my #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder

#ChronicIllness #MyCondition #WarmWishes #Jewish #Jews #MightyTogether #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Mindfulness #Selfcare #worth #Selfworth #Selflove #resilience #Selfharm #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #MoodDisorders

I didn't allow the beliefs of others change my feelings about what I have to live with.

From Low to Rise

In the depths, I felt so small,
Drowning in darkness, ready to fall.
But a spark ignited deep inside,
A whisper of hope, my heart’s guide.

With each small step, I found my way,
Rising from shadows into the day.
Though scars remain, I stand tall and free,
A journey of strength, reclaiming me.
In the depths, I felt so small,
Drowning in darkness, ready to fall.
But a spark ignited deep inside,
A whisper of hope, my heart’s guide.

With each small step, I found my way,
Rising from shadows into the day.
Though scars remain, I stand tall and free,
A journey of strength, reclaiming me.

#MentalHealthAwareness #PoetryCommunity #healingjourney #TraumaRecovery #Inspiration #resilience #emotionalhealing #Selflove #RecoveryIsPossible #youarenotalone #mentalhealthmatters

We are one Love through it all..

#lupus #fibro #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #ptsd #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #suicidesurvivor #migraine #abuse #toxicity #Selflove