Childhoodneglect

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Community Voices

Nowhere to go from here

<p>Nowhere to go from here</p>
31 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What is this thing called "Hope"? #seekingknowledge

What is this thing called hope? Yes, this is a serious question. What frame of reference do you use to explain something to someone who has never know or seen hope? We liken the situation to finding a single Waldo in a swarm of people who all look slightly like Waldo. But none ARE Waldo.

We are, at this point, 47 days into our 2 new Antidepressants, 21 days into our Antipsychotic and no change other than we sleep an added 1 to 2 hours a night. We are grateful for that. Our meds are increased every 2 weeks. I, since none of the other want to attend at this time, do video chat with at least 3 Doctors every week. The all tell me that hope will help us in this wait and see pattern we currently find ourselves stuck within.

We believe that everything in our universe has a counter balance. Night has Day. These are concrete, provable, repeatable facts available to establish what distinguishes Night from Day. Where "Hope" along with, it's 1st cousins the other emotions and "feeling" are all abstract concepts not grounded by facts.

What reference points does one use when trying to describe abstract concept of "hope" to one who has never seen or experienced it in their lifetime. How would you describe colours to a person who has never seen them? We have as little insight into what "hope" or any of the "emotions" are, at this point. What is this thing called "Hope" and where do we find it?

#SexualAbuse #SexualAssault #Childhoodneglect #DomesticAbuse #DID #raynauds #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #RheumatoidArthritis #DegenerativeDiscDisease #Hypertension #Trichiasis #irritableboweldisease #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #AnxietyDisorders #PanicAttacks #Agoraphobia #Insomnia #Rosacea #Claustrophobia #heartmurmur #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Allergies #Dyslexia #OCD #Trichotillomania #cleithrophobia , #IntrusiveThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #haphephobia #EatingDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SocialPhobia #Acrophobia #Psychosis #DissociativeDisorder #audiohallucinations #visualhallucinations #intervert #raynauds

15 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Today, I realized that I was neglected emotionally, physically, and medically as a child. It was subtle. Sometimes they’d do the bare minimum as parents, and other times they’d let us drink like crazy and stay out way later than my peers. My house was a mess and somehow it was only my fault. Mom, Dad, I was 15. I shouldn’t have had the whole weight of the household on my shoulders. I shouldn’t have been told “you’re a better homemaker than your mother.” I should have had a chore list yes, but I shouldn’t have been handed a house that looked and smelled disastrous and told “you clean it up.” I didn’t even know where to start. I should have had parents who cared about where I was at midnight on a Saturday at 13 years old. I should have had structure. You should have taken me to the dentist before my tooth broke and I was in so much agony I couldn’t eat or sleep. You should have taken me to therapy despite how much it cost. There were options, but you didn’t care to look. Now, you blame ME for my brothers mental issues because apparently I was a mean child. Where did I learn that? Who stopped me? Why am I being blamed for this? Was I born evil? Why didn’t you take care of me like you were supposed to? Why, when I told you I was suicidal, did you tell me “well, if I had told my mom that, she would have locked me up.” I should have had clean clothes. I shouldn’t have been told things that adults were supposed to deal with. I should have been your child, and not just your friend. I love you, but I hate you. I need you around, but I don’t want you around. This is so confusing and painful. #Abuse #neglect #ChildhoodAbuse

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What is a mindful skill practice you have learned from therapy that has made the biggest impact on improving your mental state? #CPTSD #Depression

Today was my second day of therapy for my complex PTSD. En route I was in tears, then left in smiles. As a neglected/abandoned child, it is hard thinking logical since most of my irrational thoughts are formulated from biased fears.

One trait I need to work on is regulating my emotions. I will fixate, dwell, then spiral.

Today, I imagined a box with a lock large enough to hold all my problems and triggers. Then I imagined a trigger/hurt discussed during the sessions and putting it in the box. I closed my eyes and just felt the emotions and thoughts leaving my mind and entering my box to be locked away.

At home, when I am triggered, or sad, I am supposed to practice this. I honestly loved this practice.

This skill set will prevent hyper focusing on pain/trigger which naturally leads me to spiraling down emotionally. Instead of an emotional outburst, I calmly place my feelings in the box locked, then unlock it in therapy and discuss my emotions in a proper healing way.

I am very happy to have found this tool! As somebody who can spiral from strong emotions, this tool will help regulate my emotions, and deal with my issue in a safe way.

I am excited for my journey on strengthunf my emotional health!

I would love to know what has helped for others.

Sending love, light, and positivity. You are loved. #Childhoodneglect #abandonment #FearOfAbandonment #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #PTSD #CPTSD #ChildhoodEmotionalAbuse #Childhoodtrauma #lonely

7 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What is a mindful skill practice you have learned from therapy that has made the biggest impact on improving your mental state? #CPTSD #Depression

Today was my second day of therapy for my complex PTSD. En route I was in tears, then left in smiles. As a neglected/abandoned child it is hard thinking logical since most of my irrational thoughts are formulated from biased fears.

One trait I need to work on is regulating my emotions. I will fixate, dwell, then spiral.

Today, I imagined a box with a lock that could hold all my problems and triggers. Then I imagined a trigger/hurt discussed in the session going into the box. I closed my eyes and just felt the emotions and thoughts going into my box. Then I locked it.

At home, when I am triggered, or sad, I am supposed to practice this. I honestly loved it.

This skill set will save me from focusing and dwelling on pain or a trigger. Instead I calmly place my feelings in the box locked and then unlock it in therapy and discuss my emotions in a proper healing way.

I am very happy to have found this tool! As somebody who can spiral from strong emotions, this tool will help regulate and prevent emotional outbursts.

I am excited for my journey on strengthing my emotional health!

I would love to know what has helped for others.

Sending positivity and love to all. #ChildhoodEmotionalAbuse #Childhoodneglect #Abandoned #CPTSD #PTSD #traumasurvivor #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Depression

10 people are talking about this
Lien Laine

Childhood Neglect Makes Personal Hygiene Hard During COVID-19

As we enter month number nine of the global coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic that has truly changed the way we address a virus situation, I am faced with a number of personal issues in this new highly hygienic world. Sanitation of public areas has become an absolute must to ensure we slow the spread of this awful virus, but people must also maintain a level of clean that I have discovered is not always as easy to obtain. Wiping down a desk is a simple addition to a routine, however, remembering to wash my hands has been a real struggle. I have always fought myself on personal cleanliness, but it had always been a losing battle. Habits of hygiene instilled during adolescence are an important milestone some were never given the opportunity to reach. I was never allowed this chance. Long before the world was wearing masks and keeping up hospital standards of sanitation, there were always children who were missing out on the mere idea of hygiene. From poverty-stricken neighborhoods to the high-end suburbs, it was less about a financial burden and more about a glaring case of neglectfulness. Before a baby even begins to develop teeth, a parent should already be tending to their gums. Baths are a necessity. The maintenance begins almost immediately post-birth to help ensure a baby is well-kept in health terms. Some new parents may struggle with this but if the will is there, they will find a way to make additions to their routine to ensure a child is given even the most basic of care. However, there are too many that will absolutely neglect that foundation starting from birth. As an adult, I find myself struggling with those foundations. Growing up, I was never taught the importance of a shower, much less how to brush my teeth. Routine was something for the birds and my parents were only consistent with their ridiculous expenditures and the rampant abuse that ruled my household. Base-level hygiene was less a necessity and more of a burden that neither of my parents wanted to face head-on. I did not learn to brush twice a day until I saw a dentist when I was nearing the age of 12. Flossing? What is that? Not a single hygienic habit was imparted, and this is due to nothing but gross neglect. This continued through until puberty, when I began to note the odors my body could produce and started to understand the effects something like that could do to a social reputation among my peers. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to have internet access beginning in my preteen years and was able to research how to properly tend to myself to avoid most detection I had chalked up to poverty. Even something as simple as applying deodorant can be a fight if you have never been taught how it works and the appropriate way to apply it. I used a lot of perfume to bodily odors at a minimum in those days. It was not until I became a young adult that I fully understood the uses of deodorant, the importance of showers and how wiping your teeth with your sleeve was not the appropriate route to take in dental hygiene. There was never a time that I can recall my parents asking me to brush before bed or even to wear a bra on outdoor activity days. Most of the things I know now are completely of my own research and drive to better grasp my own body and the way it functions. Aging brings a sense of wisdom but without a concrete base, one can surmise that you will stand on shaky legs. Parents of neglectful households have little idea of how damaging it is to ignore the bare minimum of self-health. It leaves permanent scars that as adults are hard to cover. Many of our peers are quick to judge disheveled clothes or yellow teeth, they had the chance as an adolescent to take in those life-altering skills that lead to a put-together looking adult, on the outside at least. As time has marched on, the conversation of depression and the havoc it wreaks has become a hot discussion with regard to personal hygiene. Days can go by and you sit up with matted hair smelling fresh out of an intense locker room. This aspect has become more widely accepted but I find it harder and more hushed about the effects of a lack of learning during youth. At some point, you hit an age where it is no longer socially acceptable to not understand your body and what it needs to stay clean and smelling fresh. It’s still there, however. A combination of depression and hygiene suppression is leading a good number of adults to be questioned by society as a whole and it just is not fair. Some children learn to ride a bicycle and you are said to never forget how, but the same situation occurs when you have been taught to avoid or not address certain things. Adults cannot be expected to know the importance of hygiene if they were not once taught. It is less about laziness and more about routines. Labeling someone as lazy when they were never given the chance is not fair. Society consistently fails to understand how much of an impact a neglectful household can have for an entire lifetime. However, we must begin breaking those bonds that our parents forced on us. We as a whole have to begin looking harder at ourselves in order to face the new post-pandemic world. Routines can be changed and with the wealth of knowledge at our fingertips, there should not be any shame in a bit of research to help better your health and those around you. Set goals and reward yourself. If you remember to brush your teeth before bed or take that much-needed shower, show yourself some praise and love for taking a step, no matter how small. Goal calendars may help you or just hanging gold star sticker charts in your bathroom. Go out and buy a nice new toothbrush or wash your hands a little longer today. Purchase a fragrant deodorant or even an amazing smelling body wash. Loofas always sound like a good time. As the human race fights this virus, we can fight those generational chains that have held us back from being our best selves. Though it may be daunting at first, a move forward is just that. It is less about the destination and more about the road you took to get there. Together, in this new world we live in, we can begin to unravel some of the parental imposed obstacles. If that means starting online classes for hygiene in adults, I do sincerely believe we can do this together. The judgment must stop, and a more nurturing approach needs to be had. Not everyone was offered the same opportunities, so we have to be kinder to those individuals because in the end, we are all human, walking paths next to one another. I have to look in the mirror myself and contemplate on the ways I will educate my children and give them the chance I never received. We can clean the mess but we can not always magic eraser the scars that neglect has left. Today is a new day; remember to love yourself as you would that child your parents left behind. You deserve it.

Community Voices

Terrific resource!

<p>Terrific resource!</p>
7 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Proud of myself

<p>Proud of myself</p>
9 people are talking about this
Community Voices

How do you think I should do this?

So my mother is bipolar or borderline. Her disorder is untreated. She is also an addict. She goes to a clinic for that.

She was a terrible mother. She treated me terrible, lied all the time, stole from me, and did drugs in front of me (to name a few things).

I moved in with my grandparents when I was 15. My relationship with my mother died.

I'm 20 now. I've been a follower of Jesus since I was 14, and I know that this situation with my mother is holding me back. We met up some this last school year as my attempt to build some semblance of a relationship, but after she blew me off twice, I told her that I wouldn't meet with her anymore.

I'm thinking I'm going to try again. Tonight I had a breakthrough, and I realize that I need to distance myself some and remember her sickness. She is mentally ill. It just is what it is.

I need advice though. What are some boundaries I would have? What do I do when she blows me off or does something inappropriate? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Please share your story (as much as you feel comfortable).

Thank you for reading this, guys. I look forward to any responses.

#DaughterOfAnAddict #daughtersofnarcissisticmothers #Addiction #help #Advice #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Reparations #ChildAbuse #Childhoodneglect #EmotionalNeglect #neglect

8 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Cracks

<p>Cracks</p>
33 people are talking about this