Depressive Disorders

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Cracked

Feeling …. Exactly that nothing . Have an inevitable cloud that’s been hanging around for the last couple of years. Getting harder to see the light in the lining. Stuck. Social life is non existent. Relationship is like a rock stuck in a stream. Work is driving me insane- not the work load but the people. Major communication issues in the place and my personality with my drive does not function well in the environment. Therapy helps some but spend more time talking about others than my own issues. Processing and handling things is an extreme high and I get worked up or it’s no existent and I’ve lost the ability to care. Body is the same , different days different pains . #MentalHealth #MixedConnectiveTissueDiseaseMCTD #RaynaudsPhenomenon #AutonomicDysfunction #ChronicFatigue #Anxiety #DepressiveDisorders #RheumatoidArthritis

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When Darkness Lost Its Voice

I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was 15 or 16.

I still don’t know how or why it began.

That moment marked the start of an invisible war within me—

a quiet, persistent pain that no one could see.

From the outside, everything seemed fine.

But on the inside, I was drowning in something I couldn’t explain.

Those thoughts lingered for years, always in the background,

whispering in moments of weakness,

trying to surface when I was most vulnerable.

I tried twice to leave this world. I didn’t succeed.

And whether that was unfortunate or fortunate, I don’t know.

But I’ve carried the weight of depression, anxiety, and a deep sense of worthlessness ever since.

There were times when the idea of “peace”

felt like the only way to end a pain I couldn’t name.

Even though life around me was "normal,"

my mind remained a dark, relentless storm.

I remember once, someone told me,

“If you really wanted to die, you would have succeeded.”

At the time, I felt rage—

how could they say that? They had no idea.

No idea what it’s like to wake up every day

battling a voice that tells you you don’t belong.

But looking back, maybe they were partially right.

Because deep down, I didn’t want to die—

I just wanted the pain to stop.

Over the years, I tried to heal in different ways.

There were still moments when that thought crept back in,

always lurking,

waiting for an opening.

And I kept asking myself:

Why do I feel this way?

What am I running from?

Why is it always dark?

Later, I learned my mother had suffered from severe depression and bipolar disorder.

And something about knowing that helped.

It wasn’t all my fault.

Maybe my brain was wired this way.

Maybe this was more than just me being "weak."

That realization gave me space to breathe.

And somehow, after all these years—

I don’t know how or when—

something shifted.

It wasn’t a loud change.

It was a quiet, sudden click.

One day, I simply thought:

I don’t want to die anymore.

I want to live.

I want to see more.

I want to feel the light.

And slowly—bit by bit—

the light began to shine through the cracks of my broken mind.

The thoughts that haunted me for so long?

They’re gone now.

And I don’t know how I survived… but I did.

I wish I could show others the way out—

but I know healing is personal.

It’s a fight that only you can face.

Still, if you’re reading this,

if you’re still here,

then please believe this:

There is still a crack in the darkness.

And through that crack,

a light is waiting to shine.

“This is something I’ve carried for a long time. I’m not sharing for sympathy—I’m sharing because I know someone else might need to know they’re not alone.”

#MentalHealth #DepressiveDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

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Not so new but new here.

👋 all I have been a part of the mighty since early 2017 when I was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation type 1 and Syringomylia. Rheumatoid, and hyper Thyroid issues run in the family along with other autoimmune disorders, dupitrins contractions and planter fashitis (pretty thats mispelked). We also have Mental health or personality disorders as well.

I didn't ever really come on here till now. After having my son in 2021 I developed severe postpartum depression. It eventually disappeared on its own kinda, it just lessened to depression.I was battleing addiction that had started because of my Chiari diagnosis and decompression surgery. In summer of 2022 i got clean and stayed clean. I went to a psychologist who was in the company of my rehab/general therapist. I was diagnosed with general anxiety, social anxiety, depression, bipolar, and having borderline personality disorder traits. I have recently VERY recently got away from trauma and abuse. I am almost 💯sure I have C-PTSD. Are there other forms of trauma bonding, abuse, PTSD out there what are common symptoms? I have something really weird going on and I dont even know how to really explain it . It i don't know if it's a symptoms concerning my Chiari and surgery site or if its a mental, psychological issue from the trauma. Any similar backgrounds out there? Even not general answers would be appreciated as well. Thnx everyone.

#ArnoldChiariMalformation , #ChiariMalformation , #Syringomyelia #autoimmune Disorders #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #DepressiveDisorders #BipolarDepression #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #behavioralhealth #Trauma #symptoms #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #mental #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder ##Nightmares #MoodDisorders #SocialAnxiety #OtherMentalHealth #neuro

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It's been a while.

I was doing okay. I'm not doing okay, 10 days of this anxious/depressive episode, i'm going through every day in a haze, I feel so lost.#Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #DepressiveDisorders

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Topic/Question Just for Fun and Connection 🙌🙌

To help encourage us to remember that we are more than our chronic illness(es) or any diagnosis, and to remember that we Are building friendships right here -

In the spirit of the current, Biggest, Buzz-Worthy, Trending Topic, MOVIES awards show airing Sunday night the Oscars🙌🤩🏆🍿🎥🎬

Let’s use this post all weekend Starting Now And And Into Next Week to connect through the art, power, storytelling, …and your particular views on any film. I will keep it as wide-ranged as that for a fun, varied, connecting conversation back and forth below 👇 in the comments!

#Loneliness #Grief #DistractMe #FamilyAndFriends #Relationships #IfYouFeelHopeless #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #DepressiveDisorders #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #MoodDisorders #MDD #Agoraphobia #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #ADHD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicIllness #IntellectualDisability #AutismSpectrumDisorder #MyCondition #RareDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #ChronicFatigue #Migraine #Selfharm #Selfcare #Mindfulness #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #PsoriaticArthritis #Trauma #Cancers #AlopeciaAreata #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #CerebralPalsy #BipolarDisorder #DownSyndrome #Addiction #Lupus #HashimotosThyroiditis #AutoimmuneThyroidDisease #BipolarDepression #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #AutonomicDysfunction #ParkinsonsDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #POTS #EatingDisorders #AnorexiaNervosa #BingeEatingDisorder #Dyspraxia #BrainInjury #MotorDisorders

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To All of The Mighty- In case someone hasn’t told you this already 💯🤩🦋🧘🏻‍♀️💪 This quote image is what I am saying to EACH of YOU.

🙌 Yes!!

Yep, I am Also your confidence booster!
&
Your cheerleader ( 📣 🙃🤭🙌🙌 another fun fact about me - I was the first freshman in my high school to make the Varsity football cheerleading squad And I Also was a cheerleading coach in high school for junior high school kids And I did all of that while also teaching dance and helping to run a dance school in high school too, while also continuing my own dance training daily because my first love since the age of 3 has always been the beautiful art of dance- or like one of my all time favorite Professional dance companies that I paid to see live in NYC was called- “Shaping Sound”.

Yeah, I Really miss those days of Energy.

These days, if I have any energy or let’s say the infrequent but still a huge gift of having more than a little energy, it’s funny in that I can recognize the immense difference in a blink of an eye.

Oh, yeah, and about the badass part of this quote image 👆
Not having energy and still doing all that I do, That is what makes me Badass, is how I look at it- after straightening out my Perspective and Reframing my Headspace.
And honestly without my onset of major depressive disorder at age 34 (I am now 52), I would never have really achieved Becoming Badass! And, I always admired Badass people of all kinds.

Always remember this whole hard thing called life and life transitions requires us to take on new, healthier Perspectives Always, And this is what I learned from the Headspace app is also called “Reframing” (best app in the world, at least when I used it daily in 2017 - 2019)

And I have specific, Large, photo album folders on my phone - 1 titled “Reframing Headspace” from my saved key takeaways from each Headspace course lesson I took (that Of Course I will be sharing with you in my group Resilience and Mindfulness) and I have another specific, Large, photo album folder titled “Perspectives” that Of Course I will be sharing with you in my group titled Resilience and Mindfulness)

To anyone seeing this post outside of my group - here is the direct link Resilience and Mindfulness and Join Us for So Much & because literally Everyone needs to learn both Resilience and Mindfulness (and, I don’t stop there with what goodies I share To Help YOU 😁🙃)

#MightyTogether #MentalHealth #ChronicFatigue #ChronicIllness #Disability #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #DepressiveDisorders #Selfharm #SocialAnxiety #ADHD #Agoraphobia #MDD #MoodDisorders #MultipleSclerosis #IfYouFeelHopeless #MyCondition #CheerMeOn #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #OtherMentalHealth #MotorDisorders #ChronicPain #Mindfulness #Selfcare #FamilyAndFriends #Relationships #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #BingeEatingDisorder #Arthritis #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Fibromyalgia #Caregiving #Cancer #CrohnsDisease #DownSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Epilepsy #Addiction #Lupus #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CerebralPalsy #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

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Resilience and Mindfulness | An Online Health Community

I am going to break down into pieces a lot of notes I have to share from Positive Psychology: Resilience Skills Course Audited -by University of Pennsylvania + More Supports For Wellbeing Some concepts I hope to add to your cognitive skills toolkit and vocabulary are: *Learning how to incorporate *resilience interventions*-*protective factors*, *cognitive strategies*, *develop mental agility*, increase positive emotion, *decrease anxiety*, and *take control of thinking traps*, and *learning the critical skill of optimism, as well as *taking a deeper dive into the cognitive skills and wellbeing mindset of mindfulness living. Resilience can help protect you from mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Resilience also can help you deal with and be better prepared for other truly hard things in life. Research has also shown the effectiveness of mindfulness as an intervention in recurrent depression and there is so much more to this state of mind.
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40 For Your Thoughts

I know it’ll probably shock you to learn that I have a tendency to catastrophize the thoughts in my mind.

Turning 40 was no exception.

It loomed in my brain for months before it happened.

I mean 40 year olds are- like- grown ups who have their ish together.

Like debt-free adults with aesthetic homes and a few life altering vacations and spiritual awakenings under their belt not to mention a thriving retirement plan.

Suffice it to say that ain’t me.

There is probably a tendency to scroll on by posts like these. Like “eye roll” scroll because how many ways can we reinvent the “40 things I’ve learned in 40 years?” post.

Rest assured and exhale with a sigh of relief because I don’t have 40 revelations to share. I barely have 40 pennies for my thoughts.

But I do have one revelation to pass along which I hope doesn’t add to the news feed noise but rather helps quiet it.

My sister asked me how I was celebrating the big-four-oh and honestly, 40 is a big one but is it really an accomplishment?

I responded with “is turning 40 really an achievement? I mean all I had to do was let time pass and stay alive.”

That is when it hit me.
Staying alive IS an accomplishment.
And that’s all I want to tell you.

If you’re still here, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve quieted the voices that told you the world was better off without you and you’ve fought the demons that insisted that was true, I’m proud of you.

If you’re just starting the healing journey but not convinced you have what it takes to win the battles of your brain, I believe in you.

Breathing.
Living.
Surviving.
Staying alive.
It is a big deal.
And it deserves a big celebration.

Keep going; I promise you’ll be glad you did. #MentalHealth #DepressiveDisorders

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