LossOfAParent

Being passionate about sports is a trait my Dad passed on and instilled in me from an early age, and watching and talking about them together was a very bonding experience we had that built over the years. When I was young I was very blessed and had the opportunity to attend a lot of games with him live: football & basketball, some baseball & hockey games, and we even went to Indianapolis for the Indy 500 races twice. His father had taken him to the big race a few times too and to many other games when he was a child, which I think had the same impact on him!

I was never a good athlete, but under his tutelage I became very interested in drama and intrigue with sports and began to understand, appreciate and enjoy all the nuances of the games: teams - their players & coaches, stats, and strengths & weaknesses; types of plays; strategies; the history of the sports; … and I adapted Dad’s favorite teams & players and we followed them very passionately, intently and took the games very seriously. To this day I can get depressed after a game my team loses, and as a kid I’d pout and be in a really bad mood, often for days.

We watched games and followed our teams, not just the games, but almost every day, as we even fought for who got the Sports page first! His excitement, curiosity and dedication were contagious.

As I got older and I moved away to other places I made the “pilgrimage” up to two hours every Sunday to watch football with Dad & on Memorial Weekend went to watch the Indy 500 with him almost every year. We didn’t even miss a minute of games, with Mom being part host, part cook & part waitress … bringing us big homemade deli sandwiches, her legendary guacamole, and yummy desserts she baked. Then during commercials sometimes we would both sprint to different bathrooms for a break, rushing so as not to miss a second of the games!

However, I recently realized I have actually tried to avoid watching big games there since he passed away. I just admitted to myself that over 3 years after he died it still can be emotional watching games in the room where we watched events together. It can be a sad & empty feeling🥲 The first games I watched without him there soon after he died were some of the few things that triggered me to cry when I wasn't processing things well yet. When I sat there in my familiar chair and our team scored I would turn to high five him and saw the empty chair he always sat on next to me and suddenly deeply felt his absence… It was one of the first ways I truly realized he wouldn’t be there to share experiences with me (physically) anymore. It hit me hard. The first time I watched a game without him I completely broke down in tears which was the strongest emotion I had experienced since he died to that point.

I realized that sharing sports with him was so much more than the games, it was something we shared together in almost a ritual format for decades, and looking back I remember how much I always looked forward to being with him for each coming game. So I still am deeply invested and tuned into sporting events and that focus can help me to take a break from pain, depression, anxiety, fear & worry. It’s all I think about for that 2 ½-3 hours, sometimes longer.

🏀🏈⚾️⚽️🏒⚽️⚾️🏈🏀

Do any of you take comfort, find refuge, a healthy escape and/or a distraction in watching sports? Or are there other things you enjoy watching like binging episodes of your favorite show? Or watching a movie trilogy over and over? Or watching thrillers that keep you on the edge of your seat, or action or drama movies that take your complete focus like tunnel vision? Or do you enjoy watching nature, animal or history channels? Was sharing them with family a part of your childhood?

What engrosses & entertains you the most? How do these affect your energy and emotions when you watch them? Do you find it a much needed window away from thinking about your health challenges like I do?

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #LossOfAParent #Grief #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #HIVAIDS #PTSD #Stigma #BrainInjury #Concussion #BackPain #neckpain #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #InsideTheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe

@texassonrisa
@sparklywartanks

We are currently looking for a new Co-Leader for the Multiple Health Challenges group. We are growning fast and just passed 2,200 members. This is really exciting to me, however to be honest, I have been very frustrated that there is less activity recently and as our membership grows steadily the number of comments & replies has actually diminished. Our old co-leader Chris is no longer with the group and we need to have others step up and make up for her commitment to regularly respond to posts and comments. This means a collective effort from everyone in the group! I have had numerous layers of serious physical & mental health challenges recently and not been as active as I would like in order to step back and focus on self-care. This is a time having another co-leader to pick up the slack is essential!

My last post about hobbies was actually first posted 16 months ago (when we had at least 1,000 less members) and it got over 200 ❤️ & 👍and 100 comments then! It got only ONE this time. And Laura made a great post about disability after that and it got only two responses as well. When new members open up and post to introduce themselves and then get very little response that is even worse. I fear that new members will see this and not be active moving forward. This is OUR group everybody and it functions best when members support other members. We all have our varied health histories and with them the knowledge and wisdom we’ve garnered along the way! PLEASE let’s share these with each other. Without this empathy and understanding this group is falling short of what I first envisioned when I started the group and what it’s capable of.

For a co-leader I am looking for someone to welcome new members, comment or respond to posts and other comments & replies, and make new posts to the group. It is important for the group to have distinctly different voices to support people because people might relate more to either of us. What is a really good situation is if we both respond to the same posts, welcome new members from different perspectives and provide voices for people that are accessible and relatable. There is a commitment needed that you monitor activities on the group regularly and can respond pretty quickly.

Offering your own posts provides more content for the group. I can assist and support by offering to look at your new posts for feedback and editing before you post if you would like, will comment on your posts to get the responses going to best support your efforts, and I can help finding memes or images.

I look at potential leaders' history of posts and/or comments that have helped and supported others in the past. Willingness to be honest and open about your own health challenges is crucial to best support people.

You will get access to the Community Leaders group and your name will have a “Group Leader” tab next to it up top on your comments and responses so I think people pay attention especially to your activity and wisdom shared from your personal experience. Would you consider joining me on this journey? Let’s have a DM chat to discuss this! Thanks for considering taking on this role!

In service,
Moshe
@moshemhc

#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Chronicpainwarrior #Disability #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #BipolarIIDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder
#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Schizophrenia #AspergersSyndrome #Autism #Dementia #Concussion #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Cancers #TraumaticBrainInjury #BrainInjury #LossOfAParent #Grief #Suicide #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #DistractMe #HIVAIDS #MightyQuestions #DownSyndrome #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #Deafness #neckpain #BackPain #CongestiveHeartFailure #Migraine #COVID19 #PeripheralNeuropathy #LymeDisease #Diabetes #EatingDisorder #Headache #Stroke #Cancer #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Disability #thankful #grateful #CocaineDependence #drugaddiction #Alcoholism #PTSD #EmotionalHealth #physicalhealth #PainAcceptance #Acceptance #relief #Selflove #Selfcare #MentalHealthHero #TheMighty #RareDisease #MightyTogether #RareDisease

A close friend of mine has confiding in me that they just lost their dad…please send them healing energy as they grieve and mourn and keep them in your thoughts and prayers. I found this post I wrote from the first year of this group.

“My Mom sent this meme to me, she got it from someone in her bereavement group. I found it very powerful and it was very helpful for me. My Dad’s spirit will always live on for and through me. Like so many others I was blessed to have him in my life. He definitely would have wanted me to move on without him here in this realm and I’m sure he would have wanted me to continue to embrace the memories and experiences we shared together. Last week, on the day he passed away, exactly a year later, we had a small family ceremony and planted a tree in the woods behind the house where I grew up with him, in honor of his spirit and how he touched us all. It now sits in the woods directly across the way from where my Dad always sat in the kitchen (and where my Mom sits today) viewable through the sliding glass doors. It has heart shaped leaves and turns purple (his favorite color), pink , burgundy, green, and yellow through the seasons and they have begun falling near it.

She was deeply moved by the ceremony. We scattered his ashes under the tree, around it and throughout the gardens and trees he loved so much around the house! We had previously scattered some of his other ashes where he wanted them...in the lake where he used to fish. Both days brought a little more closure and connection for me.

Maybe if you have lost a loved one you will find solace and serenity in reading this.”

I wrote this late 2021 but it really helped me to read this again and be reminded of how much my Dad meant to me!

#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDepression #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Migraine #Headache #COVID19 #Disability #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #HIVAIDS #PTSD #Selflove #Selfcare #TheMighty #MightyMinute
#MightyTogether #DistractMe #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #MentalHealthHero #Grief #LossOfAParent

Please let's all share our blessings in life that we are thankful for. In
dark and trying times (like right now), I try to always remember the things I am grateful for and remind myself that without any/all of them my life could be much less manageable

I am grateful for:

-Being alive!
-Being able to walk, even if I need mobility devices
-Having a roof over my head
-Having food on the table
-Having great doctors, nurses, my therapist, my shrink, numerous specialists and my clinic - and having the insurance to pay for them - as well as insurance to pay for my many medications!
-Having a strong network of family and friends and always being able to know that I am loved and supported ...and
-Having my relative health - things could always be worse!

What are you thankful for?

Maybe thank someone who you are grateful for and let them know how helpful they are and how much it means to you to have their support. Sometimes people don’t know how much they impact other’s lives!

#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Chronicpainwarrior #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Stigma #BipolarDepression
#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Autism #Dementia #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #BrainInjury #LossOfAParent #Grief #SuicideSurvivors #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #MightyQuestions #DownSyndrome #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #Deaf #CongestiveHeartFailure #Migraine #COVID19 #PeripheralNeuropathy #LymeDisease #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #Headache #Stroke #help #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Fibromyalgia #thankful #grateful #EatingDisorders #CocaineDependence #drugaddict #PTSD #EmotionalHealth #physicalhealth #PainAcceptance #Acceptance #relief #Happiness #TheMighty #MightyMinute #MightyTogether #DistractMe #MightyTogether #mentalhealthwarrior #RareDisease #ChronicFatigue

It’s not all about survival, there is a lot of living to do along the way. Although at times I feel like I am just treating one ailment after another, all day every day (which is true right now) I’ve decided why take all the time and energy it takes to survive everything unless I don’t enjoy how the time given to me by surviving is ripe for good times too.

Recently I have mostly been homebound except to go to health appointments… doctors, PT & OT, clinics, therapy etc. and then only with a walker and the benefit of handicapped parking spots. But I try to continue to celebrate the gifts I have in life, be thankful for the blessings I have that make life just a little more bearable and remind myself of what I’ve been through, how I’ve survived and what I’ve learned from these experiences. If I consider all this, then I must be a very wise man 😉 I may have dropped out of college but I have a Masters degree from the School of Hard Knocks … the diploma is not needed, I know I have accomplished it and need no reminder…I’m still alive after all!

Tough times have given me the chance to tap into my inner strength and I’ve also grown along the way. I don’t have to wait to celebrate the good times when I am experiencing some right now despite what I’m going through!

Thank you all for the love, support, thoughts and prayers, I certainly couldn’t have done this alone!

#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Chronicpainwarrior #Disability #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Stigma #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #RareDisease #AspergersSyndrome #ADHD #Autism #Dementia #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Cancer #TraumaticBrainInjury #BrainInjury #LossOfAParent #Grief #SuicideSurvivors #ChronicFatigue #DistractMe #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #MightyQuestions #DownSyndrome #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #Deafness #neckpain #BackPain #CongestiveHeartFailure #Migraine #COVID19 #PeripheralNeuropathy #LymeDisease #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #Headache #Stroke #help #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Fibromyalgia #thankful #grateful #EatingDisorders #CocaineDependence #drugaddict #PTSD #EmotionalHealth #physicalhealth #PainAcceptance #Acceptance #relief #Happiness #Selflove #Selfcare #MightyMinute #MentalHealthHero
#TheMighty #InsideTheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe

We are currently looking for a new Co-Leader for the Multiple Health Challenges group. We have grown quite a bit and just passed 1,500 members. In the past co-leaders have been golden, really helpful for me when I got sick or burnt out and had to step away for a few days. I am looking for someone to welcome new members, comment or respond to most posts or other comments, make new posts to the group every once and a while, and preferably someone who has physical and emotional health challenges so they can best relate to and understand where other members are coming from when they post or comment.

It is important for the group to have two distinctly different voices to support people because people might relate more to one of us. What is a really good situation is if we both respond to the same posts, welcome new members from different perspectives and provide voices for people that are accessible and relatable. There is a commitment needed that you monitor activities on the group regularly and can respond pretty quickly.

Offering your own posts provides more content for the group…and when posts pose a question they keep things moving forward. I can assist and support by offering to look at your new posts for feedback and editing before you post if you would like it, comment on your posts to get the responses going to best support your efforts, help finding memes or images, and support you if we are dealing with someone struggling …. Like sounding suicidal or being manic…and I will check in to make sure you are happy and comfortable!

I look at potential leaders' history of posts and/or comments that have helped and supported others in the past. Willingness to be honest and open about your own health challenges is crucial to best support people. A co-leader works together with me for some new posts and drafting new questions and is concerned about the well being of all members and can empathize with their paths.

You will get access to the Community Leaders group and your name will have a “Group Leader” tab next to it up top on your comments and responses so I think people pay attention especially to your activity and wisdom shared from personal experience. Would you consider joining me on this journey? Let’s have a DM chat to discuss this! Thanks for considering taking on this role!

#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #Chronicpainwarrior #Disability #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder
#Stigma #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Autism #Dementia #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Cancer #TraumaticBrainInjury #BrainInjury #LossOfAParent #Grief #SuicideSurvivors #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #DistractMe #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #MightyQuestions #DownSyndrome #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #Deafness #neckpain #BackPain #CongestiveHeartFailure #Migraine #COVID19 #PeripheralNeuropathy #LymeDisease #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #Headache #Stroke #help #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Disability #thankful #grateful #EatingDisorders #CocaineDependence #drugaddict #alcoholic #PTSD #EmotionalHealth #physicalhealth PainAcceptance #Acceptance #relief #Selflove #MightyMinute #MentalHealthHero #TheMighty #RareDisease #MightyTogether

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I just heard some difficult news. A dear friend who I know has been struggling fighting serious health problems just told me they have a limited time left to live. It has reminded me how precious life is, how beautiful life is, how short lives can be, how fleeting our good health can be and how unfair life can be. As loved ones become ill and their health diminishes those of us close to them can feel helpless and just wish there was something we could do to lessen their pain, to alleviate their suffering, to concoct some sort of magic potion, a panacea to bring them back to good health and lengthen their lives back to that we once thought they had left.

But there is often nothing we can say that will help as much as we would like, despite our wanting to make a difference there is nothing we can do to change things and turn fate around, nothing we can offer to help alleviate their pain and suffering and nothing we can offer their family and friends to help cushion the blow.

As I heard the news of my friend’s declining health I was deeply saddened. They are young and can appear so vibrant and healthy, so strong and spirited …but I have known the truth, known their days were numbered…however I thought they had years to live, instead they just told me it is months, even weeks or days.

I just want to give them a big, deep, comforting, loving hug … but alas, life has them hours away. Life that is so fleeting for them has us separated by space that a hug can’t travel. It's just a virtual hug that I can offer. It’s a lot, but sadly I feel like it’s not enough.

I can only send my love and support through words. Yet I know this can make a difference. I know from first hand experience that thoughts and prayers can travel through a phone call, cyberspace and through intention and belief…but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. It just doesn’t seem fair. It seems like there is a void that cannot be filled.

So I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers. Those words can seem hollow and often insignificant because they are shared so often that they don’t seem to mean enough anymore… but I will think about them a lot, I will pray for them, I will send my blessings that they don’t suffer, that they are not in pain, that they can enjoy every moment left in their life, that their joy and spirit will give them strength to live their remaining life to its fullest as much as they can.

I will deeply mourn the loss of this friend, I will mourn the loss of a young life cut short, I will mourn someone I will not be able to hug… but I also know that they would want me to celebrate their life, celebrate the joy and exuberance they lived that life with, celebrate all the ways they touched others and made a difference in our lives. I will celebrate them, celebrate life … even if it can be short. I will celebrate their spirit and the memories that cannot be taken away. That part of their life is left with us all …forever!

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Selflove #Selfcare #PTSD #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #RareDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #Cancer #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #relief #Joy #happy #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MightyMinute #mentalhealthwarrior #Grief #LossOfAParent #LossOfAChild #ChildLoss #Death #Mourning #sad #worry #Fear

I sat at services tonight with my glasses fogging up in my mask (eyes); my hearing aids not helping me enough, making it hard to hear my Mom (ears); my legs shaking as I sat and having such a hard time turning pages in the prayer book as my hands shook (essential tremors); worrying every time that we stood up and during the long walk from the car to the sanctuary that I was going to fall over (balance); not being able to focus in the sermon beyond one paragraph without losing track (brainfog, focus); sitting with my long legs cramped in the seat and with my calves & feet burning from my Neuropathy (legs).

Thankfully I didn’t have a migraine (head) tonight (they have been less frequent these days but they can still ruin a day or night when they do happen) and my back didn’t hurt (body). Two small victories, less things to deal with, at least for tonight. I have somehow mostly been able to not allow myself to get caught in the down side of my bipolar depression. So no major depression (emotional), another small victory, but I did have severeanxiety (emotional) as I packed and tried to get out the door …bad enough that I took the med I have for anxiety that I have never taken before driving. And I had a day without complications from being HIV+ and aging (immune system) and no times struggling with PTSD (emotional) And today was another sober day (addiction) I have 10 years 9 months

While I was struggling so much to tie my tie and button my shirt with my hands shaking I looked in the mirror. I saw my balding head with a grey beard and just suddenly felt really OLD. I have to admit to myself that my body isn’t what it once was, I can’t do most of the things I used to do…I compared myself to my dad who didn’t get his tremors until his 70’s and mine are getting worse rapidly and I’m only 57! But it all could be part of something bigger…I will say it for the first time…I may have Parkinson’s Disease! Ok I said it. I’m seeing a tremor specialist at a Parkinson’s Disease and Movement clinic next week and to be honest I wouldn’t mind the diagnosis… at least I’d then know what’s causing all the symptoms I’m having!

UPDATE: This was written a week ago and since then I have pushed myself and gone on two 45 min walks and an hour hike. I got new trekkers (2 aluminum poles) and they have given me much more confidence I can move safely and provided great support from falling. I will do as much as I possibly can…I’m not going to let my challenges stop me from being active and enjoying life! My appointment is tomorrow…prayers and sending good vibes would be appreciated

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Selfcare #Selflove #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #RareDisease #COVID19 #Migraine #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #Grief #LossOfAParent #Disability #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #Love #TheMighty #MightyTogether #mighty

Being gentle with ourselves can be really tough especially when we reflect back and judge ourselves. It is so easy to be mad at ourselves for not knowing things when we were younger. But it has to be that way. If we already knew everything, there would be no room for us to grow in this life. Please share something helpful or useful you have learned along the way. We can learn so much from each other!

Thanks to you all. Thanks for how you have been working to support each other!

Speaking of thanks for all, I was hoping we could acknowledge everyone who comments below in this post and others. I know it seems like a small gesture, but many people here have never opened up to anyone before and being open and honest with strangers can be quite scary. So, if we could show our gratitude by giving their comment or new post a simple ❤️or reply I’m sure they would really appreciate your support.

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Selflove #Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #ADHD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #RareDisease #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #PeripheralNeuropathy #Neuropathy #BackPain #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Fibromyalgia #Chronicpainwarrior #MentalHealthHero #Stigma #Grief #LossOfAParent #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #thankful #grateful #relief #Happiness #Acceptance #PainAcceptance #strength #CheckInWithMe #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MightyMinute #DistractMe